it’s coming up on finals time here.
i am more in danger of losing my mind now
than at any other time in the year.

and it makes me miss my knitting.

mindless knitting has become essential
if i want to get any knitting done at all.
and as of yet,
i haven’t found the right project.
(suggestions for about 500 yards of aran weight yarn?)

however,
i’m not the type of dude to get defeated.
the only child in me requires that i always get my way.
and so while my needles rest,
the wheel turns!

i picked up this fiber at rhinebeck.
it’s been mocking me for far too long.
am i the only who thinks fiber mocks him?
corriedale top by into the whirled in the ‘rendition’ color way

anyway.

as it turns out,
i don’t have to do much thinking to spin.
sure if i planned it out, i could get the colors to blend like i wanted.
i could reduce the handspun trademark barber poll effect some.
but i kinda like that fate decides.
i just try to keep it around sport/dk.
for the most part,i succeed.

i have about five more ounces of this stuff.
if i can get about 500 yards,
that’d make a mighty fine boneyard
wouldn’t you say?

also,
i’ve had this song in my head for days!worry.

for some reason i can’t sleep.
and since i can’t bring myself to do ‘real’ work,
i thought it’s high time i attended to my beloved blog.

since i’ve done such a good job deferring my knitting writing,
shall we begin this post with photos of cute animals?
(photos courtesy of sally of rivendale farms. thanks sal!)

that’s steven jr. and his mother lucy.
as you can see,
he’s growing up quite well.
though still a mama’s boy, apparently.
i know nothing of alpaca maturation or culture
but shouldn’t he be smoking behind alpaca high by now?
you can’t have much fun snuggled up to mommy.
just sayin’.

in yarn news,
march sock club came!the color way is ‘budding twig’ in socks that rock medium weight.i had my reservations about this skein.
first, i never choose such highly variegated yarn.
second, i never choose colors this bright and perky.
third, pink is my nemesis.

but i believe i’ve come to trust tina’s judgement
at least when it comes to color.
so i decided to challenge myself
and cast something on.

in my first two attempts,
i tried to avoid pooling, flashing, puddling,
or any other word for ‘color accumulating in fabric’ that i despise.
both times a failed but learned some things:
garter stitch in the round with sock yarn held double is hideous.
holding two strands of sock yarn for a 2×2 rib is gorgeous!
but is quickly ruined when one transitions into stockinette stitch.

finally i said fuck it,
and decided to let the yarn do it’s thing.
mindless knitting is all i can handle at this point.
and so i began a largish cowl.
mostly stockinette stitch
with enough purl rows thrown in for interest
and to keep the sucker from becoming a big fat neck doughnut.

of course, the colors began pooling
but in a cool, interesting way.
every row stacked up such that
i became mesmerized.
i was in love.
and not only did i love it, i got it.
i understood how the colors went together.

tina is a color witch.

do not cross her.

but just like how god punishes you for not praying, (grew up catholic)
the knitting goddess punished you for lack of knitting.
soon the yarn started pooling differently
and not in a good way.
and! not only did my purl row placement do nothing to curtail curling
they made the cowl look fucking ugly.

thus no photos.

and so, i’ll start over again soon
(when i regain my inner strength)
however! i have one final plan
to avoid the pain of unwanted pooling.
as far as i know, the only antidote for pooling
is heavy texture.
am i right?
wrong?
will some seed/moss/broken rib do the trick?

finally, a f.o.
one that’s been done for a while now.
i just haven’t had time to clean a surface off
i just had to be home when the sun was up to take a photo.
yarn – blue moon fiber arts twisted in ‘grawk’ color way

this project didn’t go exactly as planned either,
but i am in love with the finished product.
it’s about 9′ long (i swear it grew when it hit water).
i was going for 7′ and thicker,
but i wouldn’t change it for world.
bundled it about my neck, it looks perfect.

however, my mojo was totally on when it came to casting offthat, my friends,
is about one yard of yarn.
one. fucking. yard!
go me.

i just have one final decision to make:
do i leave the scarf as is, saving it for christmastime
OR do i seam together with that last yard to make an infinity scarf.

cons: me no like seaming
my slipped stitch edge would be for naught
i won’t have that yard as an impressive reminder of major mojo.
pros: it’s a reversible process
potential for enhanced über coolness.

thoughts?
ideas?
admonishments for lack of writing?
go on.
i can take it.

microblog 13

March 30, 2012

what i’d like to be doing

20120330-122640.jpg
what i’m actually doing

20120330-122757.jpg

microblog 12

March 28, 2012

you may recall that there’s an alpaca in colorado named after me.
well now there’s a baby chick in oregon named in my honor.
meet ambrosia:
the fiber world is a weird place,
but i like it.

pilgrimage

March 25, 2012

depending on which side of the family tree you look at,
i’m either fifth or sixth generation michigander.
i’m also the first generation
not to grow up in detroit.

my family emigrated from ireland and settled in detroit
and did all those big life things in the motor city:
work
school
marriage
death
burial (i discovered our family plot)
all with a particular irish catholic flare.
my grandmother’s grandfather was chief of police.
my grandfather’s grandfather built a house there for a staggering sum.
(though that might be the german side. not as popular in the family lore)
last time we checked, someone’s still living in it.

the same feeling that made me weep when i found my ancestral knock in co. kerry i often feel when i go to detroit.
getting to know detroit
makes me feel closer to my family history.
it may be silly or illogical or whatever,
but it’s something i enjoy doing.

this saturday,
i was lucky enough to make it to john k. king used and rare books.
(sorry for the photo quality. clouds + iphone + no photoshop = reality)

the connection to my knitting blog?it used to be a glove factory!
though, i think they may have been sewn,
not knitted.

still,
walking around a factory
that purports to have 1,000,000 books. . .
overwhelming just isn’t a big enough word.
being there ignited the hoarder within
and i left with more books that i need.

while i doubt any of my family members went there
it’s still a really cool piece of detroit history.
and now, it’s part of mine.

microblog 11 (i think)

March 23, 2012

knitting tip of the day:
bunch up your stitches at the end of your needle.
the yarnharlot calls this “spring loading”
because the stitches are sitting there ready to jump off the needle.
(see ms. pearl-mcphee, i was paying attention)
this can cut seconds off of those long rows
and saving seconds can really add up,
especially if you’ve got hundreds of stitches on your needles like i do.

be warned! – spring loading can change your gauge.
so don’t do it in the middle of your project!!

this lame-ass post was just an excuse
to share the fact that i’m actually knitting.
it’s a rare treat.
join my joy.

wordpress ate this post

March 18, 2012

believe you me,
the post i wrote was fucking hilarious.
you might even have called it bitches get stitches gold.

but it’s gone.

should i try to recreate it?
will it come off as artificial?
what if i hadn’t even told you?
would you have noticed something was missing?
that ‘thing’, that quality of spontaneity in all my best posts?

it’s moot.
i’m not rewriting it.

instead,
here’s the spark notes version:

getting yarn as a gift no longer makes me happy.
rather, i see it as an unwittingly hostile act.
i live in a tiny apartment.
my stash is full.
i have no time to whittle it down
to add something new, no matter how beautiful.

so while when tina sent me yarn for my birthday/christmas
i was initially overjoyed by it’s timeliness
and my unexpected adoration for the grawk color way,
i soon realized there was no room in my blue moon bin for more yarn.

those two skeins just sat on my work table
mocking me every time i passed them by.
the twisted skein was particularly shameless.
i swear,
just once,
it flashed its junk.
the mopsy was more reserved.
it only showed a little side boob now and then.

well i refuse to be mocked by wool!
so i put that twisted skein on my swift
and started winding that bitch.

now,
that skein has some generous yardage.
so i realized my winder wouldn’t be able to take it.

all.

i knew i’d have to finish winding it by hand.
(this ain’t my first time at the rodeo!)
what i didn’t foresee, was that
this skein would break my shitty knit picks winder.
yes folks, my winder is now
in pieces!

undeterred, i slid the skein to my nostepinne
(can some give me a definitive spelling on that word?)
and wound the shit out of that skein.

i shed no tears for the crappy piece of plastic.
i wouldn’t give the skein the satisfaction.

but what to knit with it?
i already have the shawl
for those five minutes a week i can knit something complicated.
i needed something easy,
something i can knit in dark
when i’m at the film collective
or between sections.

but the thought of, say, a ribbed scarf
made me want to commit suicide.
the skein would want that.
and i won’t let it win.

then it came to me
a garter scarf knit lengthwise.
nothing could be easier, right?
and i’ve never knit one.

perfect.

the colors are distributing in a way i adore.
if i’ve done my math correctly, it’ll be a little more than 6′ long.
and with the extra yardage, i’m hoping it will be more stole than scarf.

sorry bitches.

veronica already called dibs.

here is where i had a perfect, witty segue to tell you about some new socks in my life. it was inspired and tied together two seemingly unrelated topics. but fuck it. it doesn’t work now.
here they are:

no, i did not knit these.
they were knit by the official sock knitter of bitches get stitches:
weirdy pants jen
i love jen for many reasons.
many a giggle fit was had over a funny look
or our shared views on parenting, and how you’re doing it wrong.
(really, we owe our friendship to our mutual friend, bessie, god rest her)
but it takes a special kind of knitter to knit socks
just because you ask them to.

they are slightly too big
by which i mean,
they fit perfectly.
by which i mean,
they have no ease,
positive or negative.
socks should have a tad of negative ease.
and while i’ve heard rumors of success with shrinkage,
that’s just not a concept i’m comfortable pursuing.
instead, they will be my new bed socks.
my favorite pair snagged on a trip to the lou
leaving a big hole in the foot.
these are a perfect replacement.
thanks jen!

there you have it, folks.
a shadow of it’s former glory,
perhaps,
but a post nonetheless.

ps dear tina,
ignore everything i posted above. it’s all lies. send me all your yarn whenever you please. a space just opened up on my work table!

that we’re not dead.
we’ve just been on spring break.
we’ll be getting out of bed shortly
to show you some yarn.
promise.

here’s an expert tip for conference goers:
putting the butter packet in the condom pocket of your jeans
is a great way to make it spreadable.

so long as you don’t forget it’s there.
then you’ll have a melted butter mess
and permanent stain on your jeans.

i’ll let you imagine which scenario happened to me this morning.

(and yes, i’m wearing jeans at a conference. i figure if a dude on my panel can wear jeans and a ribbed sweater from the early 2000’s while giving his paper, i can wear jeans when i’m not giving a paper)

the last two days of my stockholm trip were the most uneventful.
all i did, really, was go to the symposium,
which was, after all,
the reason i went.

the first thing i noticed
was that i was severely misdressed.
my clothes were stuffy if stylish
but far too formal.

everyone was totally cool euroqueer
with the hair and the boots and such.
i felt like my americanness pulsated from within
and rated a goose egg on the coolness queerometer.

sitting up front and taking notes on my computer was also a bit odd apparently. i looked overeager or like i thought i belonged with
“the professors.”

the worst part was that no one was looking at or judging me,
which would allow me to have been like, “fuck them!”
no no. they didn’t even seem to notice.
my standing out was only observed
by me.

infuriating!

but there were some cool things that happened.

for instance,
within five minutes of ann cvetkovich’s talk,
she brought up knitting (it made sense as an example).
a beat later she pointed out that patti white was knitting as she spoke!

i didn’t bring my knitting
since i wasn’t sure it’d be appropriate.

well let me tell you!
the next day i wore my own shit kickin’ boots,
and dressed as comfortably as i pleased.
i mean, if i can’t wear my color work in sweden,
where can i wear it?
i made sure to take a good one of the bohus hat for misa.
had to prove i took it there.

misa a swear i’m weaving in ends.
i promise to get it to you
by rhinebeck lol.

then,
when i arrived a the symposium,
ann cvetkovich sat next to me!
we chatted about the talk,
the symposium
my knitting,
(which i brought with me to day two)
and she introduced me to jackie stacey.
(these are famous academics.
it’s like being knitting famous
just with a different crowd)

the talks were really impressive
and demonstrated how far i have to go as an academic.
still, it was worth the trip. i learned a lot.
and what a cool location, right?

while stockholm is a cool town,
and i got to see barely any of it,
it didn’t really impress me.
i told the shuttle bus lady at the detroit airport
when she asked if i would ever go back,
no. probably not.

unless i was on some grand tour of europe,
and it was one of many stops,
nothing about stockholm makes me feel like i need to see more.

except maybe this little guy.
frenchies have taken over the world, apparently.
even the mighty viking bows to the cuteness.

stockholm’s like that
cute guy you spent that one summer evening with.
it was a fun time, and he was really nice.
you got his digits and plan to keep in touch
but really, neither of you plans to see the other again.

still,
she’s got some charm.

oh yeah.
i got some knitting done too.
pattern: a good, plain sock from knitting rules!pattern: gandeymitts by spillyjane

neither pair fits.
the socks are only slightly too small,
and really i can blame lack of experience.
i’m just not sure yet when to begin my toe decreases.

the mittens i can only blame myself for.
i know i’m a tighter knitter,
especially my color work.
so i thought going up a needle size would be enough.
but i never checked my gauge, so i have no one to blame but me.
based on the fit, going up one more needle would have done the trick.
but i couldn’t bring myself to check my gauge
because i knew i couldn’t stomach ripping.
i just couldn’t.

so i’m giving both the socks and the mittens away.
the socks are spoken for.

but i need to find a lady hand
or dainty man hand (franklin?)
on which to put the mitts.

and i still don’t really like shelter.