livid
November 22, 2010
i can be realistic.
the knitting world is dominated by women.
and there ain’t nothing wrong with that at all.
so it’s not a surprise that there are far fewer knitting books for guys,
and that many are for women to knit for men.
this is all fine.
i can even get over the fact that i’m gonna see a lot of boring grey vests and sweaters designed for men. all this is ok with me, if a little disappointing.
however!
i am currently reading what can only be described
as the most offensive “men’s” knitting book ever written.
it is page after page of stereotypes
that only serve to fullfill themselves!
i.
am.
livid!
but before i finish reading this thing,
and writing my scathing analysis of this bitch,
i thought, why not do something positive, right?
so if you can guess the name of the book i’m reading right now,
i’ll send you a skein of yarn.
let the games begin bitches!
edit: contest CLOSED! thanks for playing.
progress
November 18, 2010
tuesdays and wednesdays compose my “weekend.”
naturally, i tend to take care of business on those days.
this past “weekend,” i spent the majority of that time on my couch;
writing,
knitting,
fielding emails,
filling in applications,
obsessing over twitter,
and generally worrying about my future.
with the vest blocking on my bed,
i even spent a night on the couch.
it’s the best $15 i ever spent really.
suddenly, i found i had nothing to knit.
i mean, i’ve got a couple things hibernating,
but nothing i’m ready to face again just yet.
so i wound up a ball of luscious silk
by hand of course. (see ms. mcphee, i did learn my lesson.)
the next day, a shawl is born.
unfortunately,
my model wasn’t feeling very cooperative.
i know i’ve complained thoroughly about the juneberry triangle in the past,but with two under my belt, i’m kinda having fun this time around.
so thanks to you random grocery store checkout lady!
enjoy that first silver shawl,
but this one’s tina’s.
step off bitch.
time suck or i’m cranky today.
November 16, 2010
i have no idea where the past eight days have gone.
oh yeah!
that’s right.
i’ve been lost in a sea of cables.
finally, i’ve worked my way through most of the knitting.
i mean, i love the way cables look,
but jesus god they take forever!
right now, the pieces are soaking
and i’m stressing over how the hell i’m supposed to block them
when the many t-pins i’ve . . . collected from my friends
are missing. assuming i do find them,
i still have to figure out how to seam the bitch.
when did knitting get so stressful!?!?
in the mean time,
i wait at the window with mo
hoping the mailman has a package i’ve been waiting for.
i feel like a sixteen year old girl waiting by the phone on friday night.
*sigh*
stash karma
November 8, 2010
so i drew a winner for my contest on friday,
and i know you’ll join me in congratulating miss. jen
who has selected this lovely skein of socks that rock.
mo approves.
to those of you who didn’t win, thanks for playing.
i hope you’ll still keep me on your blogrolls.
if there was a particular skein that you were hoping for,
drop me a line. we’ll work something out.
however,
stash just doesn’t seem to want to leave!
in fact, as one skein of blue moon leaves my house,
three more have arrived.
does this yarn look familiar?
it should.
it’s luscious silk in the “manly yes, but i like it too” colorway.
a few months ago, i knit a shawl out of this very yarn
for the lovely tina newton
so why the hell do i have three more skeins of it?
here’s the scoop:
even though we’re both pretty busy,
(tina obviously more than i)
every now and then,
she drops me a line.
or i drop her a line.
sometimes,
i drop her a stack of post-it notes.
in our most recent exchange,
it turns out that she lost the shawl.
she was sick about it, and wasn’t sure if she should tell me.
being a knitter, i immediately offered to reknit it.
i mean, she loved it so much. how could i let her feel bad?
i said my finger was poised above “purchase” button on the BMFA website, and i was ready to dig up the pattern.
she wouldn’t hear of it.
she insisted she give me the yarn.
of course her generosity floweth over
since there is no way i’ll need three skeins.
apparently, the only real way to get rid of stash is to knit it.
any idea what i should do with the third one?
the story doesn’t end there though.
after i got the yarn tina wrote:
“I traced my steps that day over and over and realized that it probably dropped off my shoulders when I headed this toddler off at the pass because her mum was too far behind and not gaining the speed her little girl was.
So I went back to the grocery store that this had happened at a couple of days ago and was about to ask after it when I saw that one of the cashiers had it on.
She was showing it to a customer and was obviously in love and well I couldn’t, I just couldn’t.
I thought you’d understand.
You do right?”
can you believe that?
tina is a bigger knitter than i!
i would’ve snatched that shawl off that cashier
faster than a pissed off queen snatching a wig off.
still,
my answer was obvious.
of course i understand!
tina let the cashier keep the shawl
for the same reason i immediately offered to reknit it.
we knit, at least in part, because we love when people love hand knits.
clearly, the knitting gods work in mysterious ways
and that cashier was meant to have shawl number one.
this time around i’m making sure to say all the right prayers,
lighting extra incense, candles, and such
to make sure this one stays on the intended shoulders.
maybe i’ll send a shawl pin to be safe.
oh yeah,
she also hired me to be a test knitter.
can you say, “yarn support”?
can you say, “paid to knit”?!
i’m a lucky lucky man.
stephen houghton of hizKNITS may be the first man on the (blue) moon,
but there were 17 apollo missions, bitches!
you know you’re a *real* knitter. . .
November 5, 2010
when you send a knitted gift to an old friend,
and they send you a photo for your ravelry page
without you even asking.
thanks kevin!
an open letter to my knitting
November 3, 2010
dear knitting,
i know i haven’t spent as much time with you today as i said i would.
but you have to admit i’ve stayed pretty true to you over the years.
i appreciate your tolerance,
and that you recognize that monogamy isn’t my style.
my fooling around with that shiny new spinning wheel at work,
that’s for you. . . for us!
i love you, but today,
you may think i crossed a line.
today, on this beautiful november afternoon,
i took my first steps toward quilting.
my friend lee practically begged me to try it.
and before i knew what was happening,
she was showing me the basics.
yes the fact that i was sitting on a curb
with sewer fumes periodically wafting up
makes it look like i wanted to quilt like a crackhead wants. . . well. . . crack.
and yes,
lee gave me this awesome quilting kit to get me started,
but it’s not what it looks like.
sure i’m sentimental.
i love making things with my hands,
things that are connected to tradition,
things that stand the test of time because i put the effort in.
but honestly,
i’m only doing this so that someday
i can replace the threadbare quilt my grandma made.
one quilt. just one.
two, two at the most!
it’s a temporary thing.
what we have? my love for you?
that’s forever.
i hope you understand.
love,
steven
ps (to the readers). what? like you don’t talk to your knitting. sheesh.
go enter my contest already
(this post unconsciously inspired by the yarn harlot *sigh*)
it’s not plagiarism if you cite your source
November 1, 2010
one of the blogs i try to keep up with is adrienne martini’s.
she has two excellent templates for getting a blog post out there:
“many things make a post”
and, my personal favorite,
“shameless self-promotion.”
today i shall synthesize them for my own shameless, misdirected blog entry.
what the hell!
i think i’ll also make a list like the yarn harlot!
1. i desperately need to destash. in doing so i hope to regain some precious square footage and maybe some even more precious cash.
2. one of the goals i have for my blog is to get it to the number one spot on the first google page when you search for “bitches get stitches.” when i search now, it’s at either 3 or 4. this is unacceptable. as i understand it, people linking to my website (bitchesgetstitches.net) can help move me up the list. must work on this.
3. it’s been a while since i’ve done a giveaway and i feel the itch. though it may be just my chest hair growing back in after my halloween costume i suppose.
4. i think i have figured out a way to kill a few birds with one cyber stone:
the fourth bitches get stitches giveaway!
the rules:
1. add me to your blogroll
2. comment with a link as proof
3. that comment becomes your number and you’re entered!
if you’ve already added me to your blogroll,
you’re one step ahead of the game.
if you don’t have a blog, get creative!
follow me on twitter
or tweet your favorite bitches get stitches post.
i’ll be flexible.
just leave a comment letting me know/linking to confirm.
the winner will get to pick a skein from my destash pile.
the yarns from right to left:
1. socks that rock heavyweight by blue moon fiber arts in the “fall on tap” colorway.
2. tosh worsted (now known as tosh dk) by madelinetosh yarns in the “thyme” colorway
3. tosh worsted (now known as tosh dk) by madelinetosh yarns in the “norway spruce” colorway
4. tosh sock by madelinetosh yarns in the “bungalow” colorway
5. seduction by blue moon fiber arts in the “oregon red clover honey” colorway (a fave skein of mine *sigh*)
6. caper sock by string theory in the “vert” colorway
7. “naturally dyed sock yarn”, 100% superwash merino, 100g/380yds by abundant yarn and dyeworks in the “neon bible” colorway
8. some hand dyed yarn by woven art. the label reads “treadsoft, 100% superwash merino, ~4 ounces ~490 yards.
the winner will be chosen on friday by some random number generator.
who’s in?
ugh i just realized my friend anna is going to disapprove of this shamelessness and call me annie modesitt or something.
oh well.
edit: a winner has been drawn. thanks for playing!
samhain
October 30, 2010
happy halloween bitches!
an open letter to stephen west
October 26, 2010
dear stephen,
i love you.
not in that way since we obviously haven’t met,
but i love your designs, your aesthetic,
that carefree attitude that nearly
drips from your photographs.
the speed with which you churn out patterns is astonishing.
and there are several i’ve been meaning to start.
ask any of my coworkers of my struggle
to find the perfect colors for daybreak,
or my new crush on chadwick.
i’m also très grateful that i get to test knit for you.
even if i can’t show the world what i’ve been knitting,
it still makes me feel special.
that being said,
i have to ask one question about your new pattern,
the one you’ve named knothole.
don’t you think that it may be a tad . . . .
. . . vaginal?
i’m just saying.
sincerely yours,
steven
where’s steven?!
October 20, 2010
why he’s in clara parkes’ rhinebeck video!
see if you can spot me.
you can also see the xeriscape i knit on cirilia rose @2:16.
i gave it to mary-heather at the ravelry party,
but how it got from mary-heather to her is a mystery.
anyone got the scoop?
Bitches Get Stitches 