tick tock
April 14, 2010
my former manager had her baby
he decided he couldn’t wait to see the world and popped out a couple weeks early. (pushy little bugger).
so i used him as an excuse to knit something new.
i kinda want to die it’s so cute
(the pattern is cisco, the yarn is tosh dk in the parchment colorway and tosh sock in toast colorway)
the pattern is free but you get what you pay for. there are some errors and, even though i was getting gauge, it would have covered his wee eyes if i’d kept knitting. since i’d already modified the pattern, i decided keep making it my own by adding a single crochet edging and i-cord ties.
i’m pretty pleased with how it came out.
i’ve never really thought of myself as a baby person.
being single, twenty five, with no foreseeable access to a uterus,
i tend not to think about them.
but when one reaches a certain age,
it’s inevitable that babies are going to start springing up all around you.
i’d argue being a knitter intensifies this phenomenon
what with all the extra women about.
this new baby and playing a pretty hilarious game of “kaboom” with anna’s three year old henry, has made me realize something:
not all kids suck.
i guess i’m growing as a person.
(does anyone else hear that ticking?)
and the winner is . . .
April 11, 2010
i couldn’t believe how many people entered the girasole contest.
i had to honor that by making a bit of a to do about it.
and in order to be fair,
i had to have someone impartial pick the number
this is my roomie, veronica
she graciously agreed not to enter so she could pick the number.
(and wear an evening gown and pumps)
we had quite a photo shoot for this one
(we were cracking up the whole time)
but you don’t really care about that, do you?
you want to know who won, right?
well, we have a winner
#18
congratulations shara!
her comment was hilarious too:
*flail*
i totally want that, i’ll trade you a kidney for it….or part of my liver, if you’re not too particular.
that won’t be necessary.
mine work just fine.
and thanks again to everyone who played.
i’m sure i’ll make something else one day that i’ll need to give away.
xoxo bitches!
bitch is blocked!
April 9, 2010
first of all, i want to say thanks to all the people commenting on my last post. you’ve been so great.
here are some of my favorites:
kes says
pick me!! oh, can canucks enter? if so, me!
of course! i love my north american neighbors.
i’ll definitely spring for the international shipping.
karen says:
if you want to give it to me, i’d love it! it can join my girasole which is about 8″ across!
somehow karen, i can’t help but think you’re rubbing it in.
erin says
hell yes i would love to win this! enjoy your soupçon of debauchery, too. a blocking party is a good idea.
(ps your chicago knitters miss you.)
erin is from the knitting group i started in chicago
i miss you bitches too!
but these two, they’re my kind of bitches!
brooke says:
i want your girasole, bitch!
stacey says:
you other bitches are not worthy of such a beautiful girasole! I want to win it!
(love the attitude ladies!)
a couple people said i should simply take out the edging and add some repeats. voilà! bigger girasole.
i wish you could see the stink eye i’m giving you right now.
and way too many of you said you’d never be able to knit it.
i’m shocked at your lack of confidence.
while the project is indeed epic,
it’s a simple knit, with great charts.
i know any one of you could do it.
anyhoo, here’s the real story
yvonne, nancy, kelli, and david lent me their hands. . . .
some pins,
a few blocking wires,
20 minutes later, the bitch was blocked!
i can’t believe how fast it went.
nancy found some time to quilt…
(david was suitably impressed)
then i held up my end of the bargain
i fed my friends.
let me tell you, it was a blast!
the next day,
all dry and ready
i laid it out for the obligatory ravelry shot
(please note petey, my roomie’s chief of security)
after blocking, it grew from 4 to 5.5 feet across.
i have to admit, it came out beautifully.
i’ll be sad to see it go.
but i know it’ll find a lovely home with whomever wins it.
see you sunday!
the best laid plans.
April 4, 2010
i have some good news, some not so good news, and some pretty interesting news.
the good news – i finished the girasole
the not so good news – it’s not as big as i wanted it to be
it’s measuring out to be about 4 feet across.
i’m guessing that i can block it out to about 5 feet.
i wanted it to be at least 6 feet in diameter.
though i’d really love to blame the pattern or the designer, this one was all me. when i started, i knew i wanted to make the blanket, not the shawl. the pattern calls for a aran weight. i subbed in a worsted. the pattern called for a 10.5 but that was WAY to big for the yarn i had chosen.
so i used a 9.
plus, i’m a tight knitter.
this failure is all my own.
(but the fact that you have to fudge the last stitch in the edging is jared flood’s. take that!)
i recognize that it’s beautiful and i put a ton of hard work into this project. but the fact is, it’s like making a sweater that doesn’t fit. you gotta give it to someone it does.
which brings me to my pretty interesting news.
i’m giving it away to you!
that’s right, you can win my girasole.
(totally inspired by the yarn harlot’s most recent giveaway post)
the rules of the first bitches.get.stitches giveaway:
- leave a comment
- your comment = your number
- i’ll have an impartial person draw a random number and that person will get the girasole!
we’re on the honor system here people.
i can’t stop you from making a bunch of fake emails and pseudonyms and commenting like crazy. but i trust you bitches.
i’m having some friends/coworkers over on wendnesday to block this bitch. there will be feasting, conviviality, and perhaps a soupçon of debauchery.
and maybe some pinning. maybe.
the drawing will be sunday sunday sunday
(april 11, 2010)
so bitches,
who wants it?
edit: thanks for playing everyone, but we have a winner!
i don’t believe in breaking rules,
March 29, 2010
but i do believe in bending the shit out of them.
so even though i haven’t cast off two WIP’s yet,
i have started something new:
(pattern – naalepuder, yarn – mochi plus in autumn rainbow colorway)
now let me clarify for all you non-knitters out there.
the rule i had made for myself was that i wouldn’t cast on a new project until i had cast off two in order to get through my backlog.
this little pincushion is crocheted.
you don’t cast on crocheted items.
i have honored the letter of my rule and evicerated its spirit.
(insert devious laugh of your choice)
gotta love a loophole.
i am still working on my girasole,
but i’m finally at the edging.
aint she perty?
this has nothing to do with knitting
March 27, 2010
so i hope you’ll still find it gripping.
last night i went out and did young people things.
it’s been a while since i’ve had the inclination, energy, or time to go dancing.
but last night was special.
last night, i had the opportunity to see an icon of the queer world.
last night, amanda lepore came to pittsburgh.
since it’d been a while since i’d been to a club, i felt a bit overstimulated
but i’m a pro, and i shook my ass like one.
there were some seriously fabulous people there
(i love this queen!)
but no one could have ever topped amanda herself
(these have to be some of the best shots of my career)
i kinda wish i’d paid the $200 to get into the v.i.p. room to meet her.
i mean, did i really need to eat this week?
while many of you were probably more excited about my harlot encounter, seeing an icon in person is one of those once in a lifetime things. i know i’ll never forget that night.
how could i?
she did look a little cold though.
maybe i should have knit her something.
anyone got an aspirin?
March 22, 2010
i’ve found a problem with my new rule:
it doesn’t make for riveting blogging.
i’ll continue stitching along on my girasole,
and hope something amusing or interesting will happen.
i have sixteen rows to go before the edging
which, as you know, will then take forever to finish
i have given myself a semi-solid deadline for completion of this epic blanket, but after the socks and sweater, i don’t know if i have it in me.
also, my shoulder hurts. i can’t really afford the injury right now but i’m working through it sans pain killer. i’m manly like that.
how did i hurt myself?
let’s just say it involves three hours of sleep and a gymnastic demonstration. that’s all i’m willing to say about it.
in a last ditch effort to provide some kind of entertainment value to this post, here’s another picture of mo:
he’s quite the sentinel, guarding us from such dangers as rustling leaves and any overly ambitious window treatments.
next time on bitches get stitches: a mini rant on jared flood’s pattern the girasole a.k.a. me whining.
gettin’ down to business
March 19, 2010
so i’ve come to realize that i’m not a typical knitter.
why i thought knitting should be any different from the rest of my existence i don’t know.
first of all, i’m not much of a stasher. don’t have the space, money, or inclination really. (ok i totally have the inclination, it’s more about the space and money)
i also seem to be a bit more adventurous in choosing projects with a higher level of difficulty for someone who hasn’t been knitting for two years yet.
and, while i pay lip service to non-monogamous knitting, it’s starting to take a bit of a toll. the toll being i really want to start new things but i feel a bit guilty about it when i have projects sitting around that i’d love to see finished.
so i’ve decided to get down to business and initiate a new rule:
before i can cast on a new project, i must cast off two.
i figure this is more realistic than saying i can’t start something new until i finish all the projects i have on needles but i’ll be working my way through everything. i mean, let’s be real, i’m still a bit of a knitting slut. i’m gonna see a pretty face and cast him on.
first up: my girasole
mr. mo is on board and promises to keep me on task.
like most of my knitting, this is a gift.
but i’m not saying for which bitch!
i’m one lucky bitch
March 16, 2010
while taking a nap this afternoon, i got a couple text messages letting me know that the yarn harlot blogged about me and my socks!:
“And there was Steven,
who not only knit his first socks, but knit them for me, which was pretty outstandingly touching. (I’ve had a good look at them too… they’re perfect. They look nothing like first socks. Darned good knitting, even though he had to put a rush on them and finished them right there.)”
i know they’re not perfect, but i’m loving the idea the sock knitter herself gave my socks a proverbial gold star.
in the very same post you should also note ms. juliet (the fine lady who knitted the carrot).
or as i know her, my first fan.
waiting in in the morning rain for the library to open, she asked me if i was steven. i figured since i was back in michigan that maybe i was a school mate of one of her children or maybe she was a former teacher i just didn’t recognize.
no my friends, she recognized me from my blog. (how cool is that?!)
believe me when i say that was the best way to start one of my favorite days.
she even asked me to put some of my mojo on her carrot.
thanks juliet!
unrelated to my harlot encounter, i’m currently watching the original halloween by john carpenter. in one brief shot, you see that laurie (jamie lee curtis) has a knitting bag! how cool is that! i guess her long aluminum needles and blue acrylic yarn are supposed to add to her 70’s girl scout persona.
all i could think was she should use them to defend herself later on in the movie!
spring break bitches! (la partie deux)
March 14, 2010
warning. if the notion of a knitting celebrity is lost on you, this post might not make a whole lot of sense. just sayin’
i always feel like i need a vacation after my vacations; when i leave my “real” life behind, i invariably try to pack in as many activities as humanly possible leaving me completely drained when i get home.
which isn’t to say that my spring break wasn’t completely worth it.
i’m only saying i am bushed, bitches.
i’ll skip the details of my family fun time. this is supposed to be a blog about knitting right? suffice it to say there were a lot of movies, excessive ingestion, a piercing replacement, and one wicked game of canasta where i, of course, kicked ass.
the subplot of my week was the knitting of my first socks which would then be given to ms. stephanie pearl-mcphee (a.k.a. the yarn harlot). let me tell you, coming off my knitting olympics “win”, choosing to embark on yet another project with a radical deadline only added to my current state of exhaustion. luckily, the knitting olympics taught me the most important lessons of deadline knitting:
one. knit everywhere.
i knit in the car.
i knit in the movies.
i knit over dinner.
i knit in front of the television.
this may seem like an obvious lesson, but how many of you actually practice it? imagine how much we would finish if we knit everything as if we were on deadline!
i do warn you that knitting everywhere, while very productive, can irritate the non-knitters around you. i suffered a frown every now and then when my knitting was deemed de trop.
two. if you finish, it will always be a close call.
for instance:
here’s the (second) sock waiting with me in the friendship auditorium of the detroit public library roughly two hours before the event was scheduled to begin
i definitely wasn’t the only one stitching in the auditorium:
and look! the quasi-mythical spindle spinner:
you don’t often see them outside the yarn store. i was so happy capture an image of one in the wild.
after a couple hours of just sitting there knitting, borrowing strangers’ measuring tapes, and a phone call for a last minute kitchner stitch refresher, i finished my second sock!
two minutes later, out came the yarn harlot!
now, everyone i know who’s met her says how nice and down to earth stephanie is, but that’s not how she came off to me, or at least that isn’t what stood out most.
if someone asked me, i would say the yarn harlot is one sassy bitch!
and i love her even more because of it!
i was enthralled by every syllable of her talk; it was the perfect fusion of comedy and insight couched in personal experience. (i delighted in her anecdote of spilling coffee all the time since i had spilled my mocha a few hours earlier on my knitting olympics sweater)
she read from her forthcoming book (which she had never done before ironically enough) on knitting and self esteem. when she finished, i had a tear in my eye. i was truly moved and i cannot wait to buy it.
(and no it’s not available for pre-order on amazon. believe me i checked)
after the talk, i waited in line to get a book signed, and, most importantly, deliver my socks.
i kept rehearsing what i thought i should say so i would come off as witty and poised, like in this photo:
a photo worthy of the hipster olympics for sure.
when i got to the front of the line, and she KNEW MY NAME, any possibility of coming off as cool went out the window. she graciously accepted my socks, and posed for the obligatory fan photo with me and the socks
(note the stark difference between the “posed hipster olympics face” and the “totally geeked out to meet stephanie pearl-mcphee and she’s holding my socks face”)
the best moment of the day: addressing her assistant she said, “he seems nice.”
*faint*
so that’s my story, bitches.
i don’t know if our paths will cross again, but here’s hoping
Bitches Get Stitches 