a proper post
June 20, 2012
tomorrow. promise.
copper lines
June 2, 2012
(this was my attempt to take a weaving photo à la the daily purl)
i say it all the time:
almost everything i make is for someone else.
i’ve made a few things for someone in particular,
but the last couple knits didn’t seem to impress.
it wasn’t that s/he didn’t like them
or didn’t appreciate them.
they just didn’t wow,
which is,
of course,
the goal;
i want the person to love what i’ve made.
so i’m thinking perhaps weaving is the way to go,
just a plain scarf in one of his/her favorite colors.
i even have some luscious silk in my stash that will work nicely.
it’s going to be fucking gorgeous, regardless.
hey weavers:
any tips for weaving silk?
i’ve only woven with wool before
which i know is a much more forgiving fiber.
speaking of making things for people i like,
i cast this little buddy on the other day:
this is going to be for debra m.
we’ve only met a couple of times
but she’s always been so kind to me,
especially at times when i felt a little vulnerable.
frankly, if you met debra and didn’t like her,
i’d question whether or not you were human.
so when she expressed interest in this particular rare gem,
i decided immediately that i would knit something for her.
unfortunately, nothing i found the ravelry machine was right.
(god bless ravelry, but it does fail us now and then)
frustrated, i decided i would take this opportunity to try to design something. i’ve had exactly two design ideas in my entire life and, as we all know, nancy bush stole my other one. this cowl isn’t going exactly as planned, but i still think i like it. if the next part goes well, i’ll be home free. maybe i’ll even publish the pattern.
maybe.
ambrosia
May 11, 2012
color up
May 9, 2012
after turning in my final papers on monday,
a combination of
poor diet,
lack of sleep,
and caffeine overdose
reduced me to a bedridden shell of a man.
so of course i got up at the crack of dawn on tuesday
and drove forty minutes for a knitting class
with the yarn harlot.
i knew my knitter buddy melynda was going to be there
and that she was bringing friends.
so i re-upped my starbucks dosage,
hid my raccoon eyes with sunglasses,
and headed to howell.
while i learned all about color knitting techniques
(fair isle, stranded, intastia, slipped stitches etc.)
my favorite piece of info was how colors are put together
and how we are instinctively drawn to put certain colors together
unless, of course, one is color blind*.
(can you guess which block belongs to me?)
more than anything,
i was happy to hang with melynda
and make new knitterly friends.
(erica is an excellent colorer)
(and knitterella can put away more burrito than you think she can!)
as usual, beth harassed me,
telling me how i needed to be a better spinner and knitter
i retaliated with my camera.
most of the day, we all laughed hysterically;
i had the best table mates!
i have dubbed us
the heathers.
our one table mate, kelly, is actually a reader!
(i never, ever get used to the fact that people read my blog)
she called us the “knitterati”, and had us pose for a photo.
(photo courtesy of knitterella)
while i would never put myself on their level
it was flattering of kelly to include me.
memorable quotes from the heathers’ table
that are probably only funny if you were there:
“it’s a different green!”
“i’m just going to make it done”
“sucking on a scone”
“something’s sucking something”
“i blew the blue”
“owl pellets”
as you can see, there was an . . . oral theme at our table.
after all the color hilarity and stress bombs,
i returned home to some neutral heaven.
*no, i’m not colorblind
writers block is really just procrastination
April 11, 2012
for some reason i can’t sleep.
and since i can’t bring myself to do ‘real’ work,
i thought it’s high time i attended to my beloved blog.
since i’ve done such a good job deferring my knitting writing,
shall we begin this post with photos of cute animals?
(photos courtesy of sally of rivendale farms. thanks sal!)
that’s steven jr. and his mother lucy.
as you can see,
he’s growing up quite well.
though still a mama’s boy, apparently.
i know nothing of alpaca maturation or culture
but shouldn’t he be smoking behind alpaca high by now?
you can’t have much fun snuggled up to mommy.
just sayin’.
in yarn news,
march sock club came!
the color way is ‘budding twig’ in socks that rock medium weight.
i had my reservations about this skein.
first, i never choose such highly variegated yarn.
second, i never choose colors this bright and perky.
third, pink is my nemesis.
but i believe i’ve come to trust tina’s judgement
at least when it comes to color.
so i decided to challenge myself
and cast something on.
in my first two attempts,
i tried to avoid pooling, flashing, puddling,
or any other word for ‘color accumulating in fabric’ that i despise.
both times a failed but learned some things:
garter stitch in the round with sock yarn held double is hideous.
holding two strands of sock yarn for a 2×2 rib is gorgeous!
but is quickly ruined when one transitions into stockinette stitch.
finally i said fuck it,
and decided to let the yarn do it’s thing.
mindless knitting is all i can handle at this point.
and so i began a largish cowl.
mostly stockinette stitch
with enough purl rows thrown in for interest
and to keep the sucker from becoming a big fat neck doughnut.
of course, the colors began pooling
but in a cool, interesting way.
every row stacked up such that
i became mesmerized.
i was in love.
and not only did i love it, i got it.
i understood how the colors went together.
tina is a color witch.
do not cross her.
but just like how god punishes you for not praying, (grew up catholic)
the knitting goddess punished you for lack of knitting.
soon the yarn started pooling differently
and not in a good way.
and! not only did my purl row placement do nothing to curtail curling
they made the cowl look fucking ugly.
thus no photos.
and so, i’ll start over again soon
(when i regain my inner strength)
however! i have one final plan
to avoid the pain of unwanted pooling.
as far as i know, the only antidote for pooling
is heavy texture.
am i right?
wrong?
will some seed/moss/broken rib do the trick?
finally, a f.o.
one that’s been done for a while now.
i just haven’t had time to clean a surface off
i just had to be home when the sun was up to take a photo.
yarn – blue moon fiber arts twisted in ‘grawk’ color way
this project didn’t go exactly as planned either,
but i am in love with the finished product.
it’s about 9′ long (i swear it grew when it hit water).
i was going for 7′ and thicker,
but i wouldn’t change it for world.
bundled it about my neck, it looks perfect.
however, my mojo was totally on when it came to casting off
that, my friends,
is about one yard of yarn.
one. fucking. yard!
go me.
i just have one final decision to make:
do i leave the scarf as is, saving it for christmastime
OR do i seam together with that last yard to make an infinity scarf.
cons: me no like seaming
my slipped stitch edge would be for naught
i won’t have that yard as an impressive reminder of major mojo.
pros: it’s a reversible process
potential for enhanced über coolness.
thoughts?
ideas?
admonishments for lack of writing?
go on.
i can take it.
wordpress ate this post
March 18, 2012
believe you me,
the post i wrote was fucking hilarious.
you might even have called it bitches get stitches gold.
but it’s gone.
should i try to recreate it?
will it come off as artificial?
what if i hadn’t even told you?
would you have noticed something was missing?
that ‘thing’, that quality of spontaneity in all my best posts?
it’s moot.
i’m not rewriting it.
instead,
here’s the spark notes version:
getting yarn as a gift no longer makes me happy.
rather, i see it as an unwittingly hostile act.
i live in a tiny apartment.
my stash is full.
i have no time to whittle it down
to add something new, no matter how beautiful.
so while when tina sent me yarn for my birthday/christmas
i was initially overjoyed by it’s timeliness
and my unexpected adoration for the grawk color way,
i soon realized there was no room in my blue moon bin for more yarn.
those two skeins just sat on my work table
mocking me every time i passed them by.
the twisted skein was particularly shameless.
i swear,
just once,
it flashed its junk.
the mopsy was more reserved.
it only showed a little side boob now and then.
well i refuse to be mocked by wool!
so i put that twisted skein on my swift
and started winding that bitch.
now,
that skein has some generous yardage.
so i realized my winder wouldn’t be able to take it.
all.
i knew i’d have to finish winding it by hand.
(this ain’t my first time at the rodeo!)
what i didn’t foresee, was that
this skein would break my shitty knit picks winder.
yes folks, my winder is now
in pieces!
undeterred, i slid the skein to my nostepinne
(can some give me a definitive spelling on that word?)
and wound the shit out of that skein.
i shed no tears for the crappy piece of plastic.
i wouldn’t give the skein the satisfaction.
but what to knit with it?
i already have the shawl
for those five minutes a week i can knit something complicated.
i needed something easy,
something i can knit in dark
when i’m at the film collective
or between sections.
but the thought of, say, a ribbed scarf
made me want to commit suicide.
the skein would want that.
and i won’t let it win.
then it came to me
a garter scarf knit lengthwise.
nothing could be easier, right?
and i’ve never knit one.
perfect.
the colors are distributing in a way i adore.
if i’ve done my math correctly, it’ll be a little more than 6′ long.
and with the extra yardage, i’m hoping it will be more stole than scarf.
sorry bitches.
veronica already called dibs.
here is where i had a perfect, witty segue to tell you about some new socks in my life. it was inspired and tied together two seemingly unrelated topics. but fuck it. it doesn’t work now.
here they are:
no, i did not knit these.
they were knit by the official sock knitter of bitches get stitches:
weirdy pants jen
i love jen for many reasons.
many a giggle fit was had over a funny look
or our shared views on parenting, and how you’re doing it wrong.
(really, we owe our friendship to our mutual friend, bessie, god rest her)
but it takes a special kind of knitter to knit socks
just because you ask them to.
they are slightly too big
by which i mean,
they fit perfectly.
by which i mean,
they have no ease,
positive or negative.
socks should have a tad of negative ease.
and while i’ve heard rumors of success with shrinkage,
that’s just not a concept i’m comfortable pursuing.
instead, they will be my new bed socks.
my favorite pair snagged on a trip to the lou
leaving a big hole in the foot.
these are a perfect replacement.
thanks jen!
there you have it, folks.
a shadow of it’s former glory,
perhaps,
but a post nonetheless.
ps dear tina,
ignore everything i posted above. it’s all lies. send me all your yarn whenever you please. a space just opened up on my work table!
drinking in airports
February 17, 2012
today’s the day, bitches.
my mini sojourn to stockholm.
it’s already been an exciting trip
and i haven’t even boarded a plane yet.
here’s the jist:
there’s the washing/drying of clothes right up until i left my apartment – this included laying a sweater to dry in front of an air vent and turning up the heat/closing the door to my bathroom so my dress clothes had a chance in hell of drying as they hung on my shower curtain rod.
i oversleep – i’ve only had 12 hours total this whole week so that’s not really surprising.
i pack everything, shower, and get in the car and on the road in 40 minutes. not bad if i do say so myself.
i find my way to the airport with limited problems, other than listening to howard stern’s “mammary lane” where they replayed an show in which a dude ate his booger to get his band’s cd played. i was dry heaving like you wouldn’t believe listening to that. veronica, you know what that sounds like.
i arrive with plenty of time at the airport. no traffic.
i see sam bernstein. if you’re a michigander who lives anywhere near detroit you know how cool and dated that reference is.
the kiosk says there’s a problem with my ticket. wait in line for 25 minutes to find out the problem is i’m not flying delta but united. i am in the wrong terminal. this is not the first time i have mixed up the two airlines. i have no idea why.
i wait in the cold for 15 minutes for the shuttle to arrive to take me to the proper terminal. i now have 1 hour to get on my plane. i may have shat myself a little.
i arrive at the proper terminal – there is no one here. except of course the group of elderly slavic men whose papers aren’t in order so we all have to wait as they try to figure it out. (i bet they were in the wrong terminal).
i race through the airport, sweating in my new extra warm coat purchased (on sale bitches!) especially for this trip to scandanavia.
i arrive at my gate.
my flight is delayed for two hours.
i soak up some internet, eat some salmon, drink some sam adams.
it’s 9:20 in the am.
“so what? so plenty!”
February 14, 2012
what do i know about love?
it’s kinda fucked up and complicated as hell!
at least that’s what the movies taught me. right?
happy valentine’s day to all my bitches.
**yeah they’ll be some knitting content soon. be patient.
спасибо
February 10, 2012
to russia,
i thank you for making what has to be
the best video i have ever seen
that references the fiber arts.
apparently, they are singing a song about spinning yarn.
i have no words.
secret single behavior
February 4, 2012
it’s 1:01 am as i start this blog post.
that should give a hint as to its caliber.
a large part of how i understand reality has been shaped by television.
television has been and ever-present friend to me over the years,
and much of how i live is based on the lessons it’s taught me.
living alone for the past several months
has brought to the idea of secret single behavior
to the fore of my mind, one of television’s truly fascinating concepts.
(extra points to those who know where that little gem comes from)
basically,
the idea is we all have weird behavior(s) that,
for whatever reason,
make us happy.
they are odd,
and often unexplainable,
but, regardless, bring a dose of contentment to our existence.
perhaps it’s how you brush your hair the same way every morning,
or eliminate every single blackhead from your face at night.
maybe it’s the order of operations in the shower
that must be done the same way every time.
it can be anything.
when one is single, as i am,
one is free to indulge in said behaviors to any extent one wishes.
when one is attached,
many of these behaviors go underground
for fear one’s weirdness will scare off the mate.
which isn’t to say they disappear,
they just become more secret.
generally.
i’ve done an inventory of my secret single behavior
and worry that perhaps everything about me is weird.
and perhaps no one behavior stand out as truly ssb.
several are, of course, too inappropriate
even for this blog.
however.
because it is after 1 am
i felt the need to pick one
and share it with world.
and since february seems replete with blog challenges,
i hope some of my blogger friends will follow suit.
so.
one of my secret single behaviors?
i love drinking water out of my pyrex measuring cup.
i can’t explain it.
it just makes me happy.
what about you?
*** i thought maybe if i tag some folks, they will be compelled to play along: izabelle, chawne, stephen, jane, and adrienne. if any of you dear readers blog yours, do let me know.***
edit: here’s some great ssb
misa’s
izabelle’s
kim’s
Bitches Get Stitches 