Bitches Get Stitches

*just a quick note that there are #TTLMysteryShawl2020 spoilers below

i’ve been heard to say,
on more than one occasion,
that the world is a dumpster fire;
more and more, that perhaps too-casual statement looks to be
less and less
figurative.

i cannot articulate my response to the past few days
in any kind of accurate or nuanced way; what i will say is this:
bless the protestors for their bravery.
donate to your local bail fund.
then, get your mind right.
fuck the police.

returning to knitting seems has felt
well timed. it’s been a notable boon to my mental health.
i remember going to a talk ages ago by stephanie pearl-mcphee
in which i believe she said the repetitive action of knitting changed
our brain’s alpha waves in a similar way as meditation — the details of that
souvenir may be inaccurate, but the spirit remains true.

coffee.
knitting.
t.h.c. gummies.
these have been my mental salvation since march.

on june 1, i quickly cast on for the Through The Loops Mystery Shawl 2020
using blue moon fiber arts bfl sport (discontinued) in the “spawn of scum” colorway and, what i believe is, an over-dyed rare gem.

since i am going up a yarn weight, thereby making the listed gauge
moot—though of course i wouldn’t have ever made a gauge swatch for a shawl, anyway—not knowing if the fabric i’m creating will be comparable
or if i’ll have enough yarn only adds to the mystery.

i do wish the fabric were a little looser, but when i used the next size needle, the fabric was crazy loose. the color, however, is everything.

having never done a mystery shawl, i have to confess i’m thoroughly delighted. and i’m not mad at some delight right now,
even if it’s only for a few hours out of the week.

so that’s clue one down; excited for clue two!

oh.
you want to know who’s getting the shawl?
well…here’s the thing. no one seems to want it.
which suggests, to me, three possibilities:

1. no one reads this blog anymore so no one knew about it (accurate)
2. it’s coming on summer and no one is the shawl market (accurate)
3. people think it’s ugly (lies)

now, i know it’s not ugly. it’s my beautiful child that i cannot photograph to save my life. any failing is not the shawls, but my own. still. disheartening.
sadly, though, i have no use or place for a shawl in my home.
so i guess there’s only one place left for it…

welp.
the russian lace cast off worked,
and the mother fucker blocked beautifully.

trying to photograph it, however,

is impossible.

not having a space big enough to take it’s photo,
i used the old tried and true “stick it in a bush” technique.

i stuck it in just about every shrub or tree i could find on my street.
but i cannot
for the life of me
get the color right; the green always washes out.
nevertheless, i love this shawl. the drape and softness of this yarn
is everything. and i wonder, to whom should it go?

i prefer to give away most of the things i knit
and most of the time, i have an intended recipient.
this time… i just started it because i liked the pattern
and wanted to use this yarn.

so i thought to myself,
“self,” i thought,
“why not go old school
and do an actual giveaway?
might that work??”

i guess we’ll find out!

so if you’d like to have this shawl simply:

1. first, share this post on social media (tagging me would be nice too,
@faiche_stiabhna on both twitter and the gram)
2. then leave a comment

on monday, june 1, i’ll have a computer choose an owner.
(just what everyone will want for summer:
a wool fucking shawl. brilliant, steven!)

there were several times
that i almost wrote about this shawl*

witty posts planned
impressive math moments
thoughts on its construction
and the realization the yarn was felting
as i “purled two on; knit one off”
(perils of the sewn bind off and bfl yarn)
“but look! i made it to the end just inches of left! huzzah!”

meh.

it all felt forced.

and now, in the face of the most fun part of knitting—being done—i find
myself unable to cast off. more specifically,
i can’t decide how to cast off.

so of course i’m compelled to write.

my go-to is the sewn bind off, but after taking a day to bind off the bottom edge, i…just can’t face that again so soon. i could do the simple knitted bind off, which is fast and tidy, but then there would be that row of Vs all along the RS of the shawl and that’s just tacky. plus, while this isn’t a lace shawl that would require a hard block, it will need to give quite a bit when i block it the knitted bind off won’t allow it. and before any of you tell me to use jeny’s surprisingly stretchy bind off, i’d like you to go ahead and look in the mirror and ask yourself why you hate yourself, knitting, and me so much that you’d wish that ugly-ass bind off on my hard work. this isn’t some toe up sock abomination.

having set the shawl aside to
do a little research on bind offs since,
after all this time away from knitting,
my memory cannot
be trusted.

(it can’t be trusted ever, really)

it looks like i’m going  with the russian bind off,
which i may or may not have ever done before;

i can’t remember.

*the beauty of this color, bmfa‘s “spruced,”
has proven impossible (for me),
in several bmfa bases,
to photograph
accurately

but i think it’s safe to say,
we all are these days
to some degree,
anyway.

so here are some things that do not suck in my life right now:

by my calculations, i’m just past halfway done with the edging
on the shetland tea shawl i began in 2009.

yeah blurry edging shot!

then there’s this sandness

that i barely recollect beginning at the beginning of 2016.

currently trying to locate my place
as i’m knitting this out of a hand-dyed yarn
that you just can’t get anymore and i don’t want to get close to the end only to discover i should have done one less repeat
to have enough yarn
to cast off.

i picked this up today

your eyes aren’t deceiving you; that’s a 1lb bag of bakers yeast.
i can bake bread forever! suck on that, pandemic!

seriously, everyone complaining that they can’t find yeast at the grocery store, contact your local bakery. they have flour and yeast to spare.
i got this lil guy from a&j king bakery in salem, ma.

finally, i need your help.
in these uncertain times, as i feel
the pull of knitting-as-addiction, yet again,
i can’t decide if i should cast on this sweater

which comes in one size (not mine)
using techniques i’ve never done (steaks)
and calls for yarn i do not have (from scotland)

or!

should i just get a bohus stickning kit?
tough call, eh?

what should i do?

so i have this doily,
crocheted by some ancestor,
likely from the wealthy german,
rather than working class irish, stock.

there were a lot of doilies
among the many, many relics that
never quite make it to the curb in my family.
i hung on to this one

one of the finer examples in the lot.

though i have only the most basic crochet skills,
it seems like this might only be moderately difficult to do.
(how i wish i were as good at crochet as i am at knitting!
i’d write up the pattern from this doily
to preserve it!)

but that stain
is…pretty gnarly.
how should i clean it?
and what about blocking?

normally, i’d feel pretty comfortable with that task,
except it’s cotton not wool. and then there’s this little guy:

a break in the yarn.

so what do i do, folks?
can i even clean this?
should i risk it?
or let it live
discolored?

and why do people start of blogs with “in which”, anyway?
where the heck did that begin?

and one pandemic
and i find i’ve knit some things.

first:


a good, plain sock (which ravelry tells me i’ve knit six times, now)
in bmfa socks that rock medium weight
colorway: fall on tap
for emma.

second:


yet another juneberry triangle
in bmfa targhee worsted,
moirae colorway
which is slated for collection tomorrow,
of to its secret recipient!

knitting during the epidemic
or perhaps more accurately
returning to knitting
affected my emotional state.

the initial, palpable effect
was that kind of meditative feeling in my brain
caused, if memory serves, by repetitive action.
a byproduct of this new knitting jaunt
is missing, deeply, the community
i had as a young knitter in
my twenties (fuck i’m old!)

and community, in general, if i’m honest with myself
i thing i’ve found with every move i’ve made
except this latest to boston.

boston
has been
as teflon.
toxic nonstick.

i’ve said so many times
that i never though of michiganders
as friendly
until i moved
to new england.

boston
isn’t mean
it’s simply in different.
people here are superficial
in their interactions with you
nice even, but they forget you
when they leave.

of course it’s not just boston
or even region more generally.
i’m not looking to place blame
only to highlight that
missing people
is something
i’ve been
doing.

i have one more year in this city,
(unless fate is particularly cruel
and deen matches at bmc).
wherever i go next
here’s hoping
i do
a better job
finding folks
than have these past few years.

that is,
of course,
if there’s anything left.

regardless,
that’s what i’m doing.
while listening to “ravi shankar
in san francisco,”

no less.

what will you become, little ball?

knitting fam, i need your help.

i got some solid knitting done on my flight

(obligatory knitting on tray table pic)

suddenly, i found myself past
the halfway point
on the lace
edging.

buuut. i’m worried
there may be
a problem.

when i stretch out the shawl, it’s…tough.

to stretch that is.

i’m worried this thing is going to be a dud,
and that i won’t know till i’m done.

those of you who’ve made circular shawls, have any of them ended up not blocking flat?? can the center bubble up like some kind of weird alien lace permaboob?

i find myself regretting
talking so much shit
about certain
designers.

this karma.

listen.
those estonians must be some freaks in bed
because how else can we explain the existence of the nupp?
it’s the most frustrating stitch.
ever.

and yet…here i sit.
compelled.
knitting away.
working these nupps.
just call me the nupp gimp.