how does your garter grow?
August 30, 2010
i’ve been pretty quiet lately,
and there’s a good reason for that.
i’ve been lucky enough to test knit the xeriscape,
ms. mary-heather of rainy day goods’s latest design.
“Inspired by the richly textured rock and low-water gardens of the American southwest, Xeriscape is a shaped, scalloped scarf knit in a drapey and luxurious hand-dyed yarn. Worked in garter stitch, Xeriscape looks great in solid, semi-solid, and variegated yarns. The long, narrow shape makes it easy to wrap, tie, and wear in a variety of ways.
Xeriscape is perfect for beginners who are ready to work on shaping through increases and decreases, and still has the thoughtful details needed to make it a breezy, meditative knit for more experienced knitters.”
let me tell you,
i
was
STOKED!
there was something about the design i loved immediately.
and i knew i needed to have it when the pattern came out.
but to be able to test knit it? to be one of the first people to ever knit it?
that was special.
since this was going to be my first time test knitting a pattern, (officially)
i vowed to be swift and thorough.
but it wasn’t easy.
first, i had a week deadline.
mary-heather said i could take longer if i needed,
but the pattern was getting published in a week.
being bred from overachieving stock,
everything else got pushed aside.
but when it came time to cast on,
i could not for the life of me find a yarn i liked.
there was just nothing i had on hand that would work,
at least not the way i wanted it to.
and i needed the yarn now.
so i began knitting one in a yarn i thought might work,
but it just didn’t.
i hated my yarn choice
and it killed the design.
the end result was completely unworthy of the blog,
and it’s has been properly shamed and put away.
then, out of the west,
ms. tina newton,
dyer,
teacher,
queen.
saved.
my.
bacon.
which is ironic i think since she’s a vegetarian.
she had paula tackle the postman,
threaten him with a size q crochet hook,
and sent me this little lovely in record time*
it’s the lovely new yarn marine silk sport in the “spruced” colorway.
(isn’t it crazy how differently silk takes color?)
i wish you could see the beautiful iridescence
the subtle navy hidden beneath the calm green.
it’s beautifully soft and made knitting garter stitch worth it.
it is simply divine.
in fact,
take a few minutes to stop reading,
and order a sweater lot.
go ahead.
i’ll wait.
back?
ok.
then, as my friend michael would say,
the flames were coming off my fingers as i finished the real xeriscape,
the one i could be proud of,
the one worthy of the blog.
isn’t it lovely?
and in honor of the spirit of mary-heather
and her lovely pup charlie,
i had my mo model the xeriscape
it’s very rare for me to knit for myself,
but this one’s all mine bitches!
jealous?
go buy the pattern and knit one!
* this version of events may or may not be exaggerated. i can neither confirm nor deny if a postal worker was tackled/threatened.
but the truth is out there.
i think i have a learning disability
August 25, 2010
it’s all about life lessons lately here at bitches get stitches.
as i move ever closer to my third anniversary of knitting,
i notice just how far i’ve come in my knowledge of the fiber arts.
i’ve even come to realize that
the really important life lessons are not about knitting itself;
they’re about dealing with the knitting community.
after almost three years, you’d think i’d have gotten it:
don’t mess with knitters.
they will cut a bitch.
(i know i would)
and for the most part,
i have learned this lesson.
yet somehow,
i still cant get it through my thick skull that,
after midnight,
sending knitting related internet communications is unwise.
(we all remember the great lace debate of 2010 do we not?!)
but last night,
in a moment of weakness,
i sent an inappropriate tweet:
dear @twistcollective. really? only one men’s pattern and its a dumb grey vest?! this is why i don’t read you
immediately followed by:
@twistcollective luckily though, i doubt i’m your target audience.
obviously, this was immature and foolish.
while twitter (and other sites) are obviously spaces to give your opinion,
one must always remember that people will read what you write.
so while in the dark of the night in my bedroom,
it didn’t occur to me that i’d get a reply,
it’s not unexpected that i did:
@Faiche_Stiabhna We prefer “understated” to “dumb” and actually, there’s more than 1 men’s pattern this issue http://ht.ly/2uA3t
it’s true, i was wrong;
there is more than one men’s pattern in the fall twist collective.
there’s a pattern for a grey zippered cardigan you can knit as well.
and while each of us is entitled to our adjective of choice,
i will work on not throwing my adjectives at people via twitter.
learn from my mistakes people.
keep your opinions where they belong!
on your blog.
p.s. everyone should go to the twist collective right now,
and purchase mary-heather cogar’s new sweater, promenade. it’s the perfect mixture of simplicity and design detail. it’s what knitting should be.
in tomorrow’s issue: “why sending crazed emails after midnight can save your ass”
never go to whole foods angry
August 18, 2010
because if you do,
you will end up with a full bag that in no way adds up to a meal.
all the worker bees who look like 70’s gay porn stars,
riot grrl wannabes, or ysolda teague on meth,
will make you feel bad about yourself.
you will return to the produce section at least two times,
only to emerge with a sad shallot from some mexican hothouse.
you will leave with at least three fall fashion magazines
filled with beautiful things you’ll never fit into much less afford,
and you will feel bad about yourself.
you will try to walk away from the grumpy cashier
without paying for your groceries,
and then say something dumb like,
“it’s just been one of those days!”
and feel worse about yourself.
when you finally get home, crack your last red stripe, and prepare to treat yourself to that cup of shrimp bisque you just couldn’t pass up,
you will notice that you grabbed the whole wheat baguette.
you detest whole wheat baguettes.
the only recourse is to drink that beer real fast,
hug on your french bulldog,
and remember;
never go to whole foods angry.
in knitting news,
the northern summer shawl continues.
the designer, jo kelly, has been furiously charting the pattern.
and apparently triple checking all the stitch counts.
she was good enough to email me the changes
without me even asking.
that is a designer!
i also have a f.o.
my second juneberry triangle.
it’s been done for a while,
but there were blocking issues.
(humidity’s a bitch, no?)
i’ve sent it off to its recipient, but i won’t say who.
they may read the blog, and i want this to be a surprise.
any guesses?
i’m also hoping for another another installment of project ten by the end of the month. fingers crossed that the mitten lady will write back soon.
side of swatch
August 16, 2010
this month,
i’m working a bit more than usual.
if i’m honest, it’s a lot more than usual.
in addition, i haven’t been sleeping very well.
the combination finally hit me last night; i felt unbelievably tired and ill.
i crashed.
hard.
and slept for roughly 13 hours.
the upside to this?
i woke up super early,
have time to eat my fave breakfast in town,
and write a little post to you all.
first order of business,
on the northern summer shawl front,
the downside to being one of the first people to knit something?
you’re gonna end up being a second round test knitter.
there’s been some serious stress over stitch counts,
and i’ve sent two e-mails now about errata.
the designer has been very kind,
assures me she’s working on it.
i still want to cry a bit.
in a good way.
i swear.
i say,
if you want to knit this too,
(and you should. it’s gorgeous.),
wait a couple weeks till it’s been debugged
and charted.
dear god give me a chart!
my breakfast has literally just arrived,
so the second and last order of business shall be this sneak peak:
my rhinebeck swatch.
isn’t it gorgeous?! i’ve fallen pretty hard for it.
which pretty much ensures it’s gonna break my heart, right?
sur la table
August 13, 2010
even though i’ve decided to take this year
to live a life of fiber frivolity,
my real life,
“the plan”
looms like an ever present miasma.
so veronica and i got a new table/work station for our nook.
as you can see,
my priorities are still skewed.
but that laptop right there is all business.
i promise.
kelli (of the infamous stóra dímun),
has requested another shawl of me.
per usual, she offered to pay for the yarn.
and anyone who wants to keep me in tosh sock, i’m knitting for.
she wanted a haruni,
but everyone and there mother is making one.
if fact, i think kelli is knitting one for her mother right now.
i said i’d make a shawl, but i wanted one a little more challenging,
and a little less commonplace.
i chose the norther summer shawl by jo kelly.
it alternates stockinette with knitted lace (patterning on both sides)
i’m in love.
it just came out this month and, so far,
there’s only the designer’s finished project on ravelry.
can’t get much newer than that.
i’m racing through it now,
hoping to be the first person to post one to ravelry.
i’ll let you know how it goes!
and now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for,
the winner of the shaelyn shawl.
let me just say,
this was the hardest contest ever.
i never expected a blog contest to get me all misty.
there are so many deserving people.
how could i choose?
the answer is a couldn’t
so in honor of friday the 13th,
i took the top thirteen comments,
and drew cards, one for each card in a suit.
congratulation to sheri and her friend pat.
yours was the queen of diamonds.
to everyone else,
i hope that, at the very least,
the contest made you think about the people in your life.
even if you don’t knit for them, i think you’d agree,
we need to take care of the people around us.
and we could all use a little extra love thrown our way.
speaking of which,
veronica would like to thank all the people for their compliments on the photo shoot and for voting for her to win the shawl.
i however must ask you stop.
i fear she might start charging me.
seriously guys,
tone it down.
on the road
August 11, 2010
i’ve taken a little day trip.
and i’m writing to you from michigan.
i love coming home,
especially since it’s a rare thing lately.
last night i remembered how clear the night sky can be,
and saw a shooting star before the fog rolled in.
i slept in my childhood bed, listening to nothing but the sound of mo breathing and occasional breeze.
thank god i’m a country boy.
my mom and i are now heading west
to the city of my alma mater
and favorite yarn store.
because really,
the only thing more important than family
is getting the yarn for my rhinebeck sweater.
i’ll have more on that later but right now,
i want to talk more about where i’m writing from.
folks,
i’m writing from the future!
let me explain.
we’re literally driving to east lansing right now.
my mother recently purchased a new car, and let me tell you,
it’s a robot.
as i type this,
she’s talking to my father
whose voice is coming through the speakers,
my computer is plugged into an outlet in the back,
and with the aid of a little internet stick from verizon,
i’m surfing the web faster than i ever could at home.
i don’t think i have ever been happier than i am right now;
someone else driving me around
with the internet.
i think i may have found enlightenment.
expect details on this trip tomorrow but right now,
let me say one quick thing about the contest:
i thought having you help me would make this easier.
it hasn’t.
i never expected so many sad stories in the comments,
and i have no idea how i’m going to choose.
but by friday, there’ll be a winner.
i’ll figure something out.
until then,
keep the comments coming.
why make things easier now?
i have a need*
July 29, 2010
and it’s still for beads.
however, the need has changed
in that it has become more literal.
you see, i did another repeat on the shawl,
and these are all the beads i have left.
i have a couple more repeats to go,
and then a lace edging.
the bead store i go to has none,
and can’t get any until next month!
does anyone have roughly 324 miyuki seed beads?
size 6/0
color 135
I NEED BEADS!
and now, to counteract my craziness, a baby alpaca.
say hello to sally’s new baby jezebel.
i love that all the aunties came to see the new baby.
hopefully there’ll be a little baby boy alpaca next year . . .
. . . named steven.
seriously though,
send me beads.
i have a need
July 28, 2010
a need
for beads.
for the blog
July 27, 2010
in the back of mind, there is a voice.
it is the voice of the blog.
at any given moment,
it will speak up and say,
“maybe you should blog that.”
“have you written anything today?”
“that’s interesting, but is it blogworthy?”
today, while i was trying to block out the sound of the howler monkeys children “playing” next door, the voice in my head screamed,
“you have to tell them about the hole!”
i contemplated the irony that the voice in my head might have gone off the deep end when i figured out it was talking about yesterday’s incident with the stóra dímun.
as promised,
i wielded my tapestry needle like a pro,
and handed it to my friend yvonne to fix
while i went into the fetal position.
she unleashed her kung fu on its ass,
and it came out beautifully.
today,
the plan was to take an artistic bush photo.
by which i mean,
i would put the stóra dímun in the front hedge,
and take it’s picture, you know, to make it interesting.
the neighbor demons children made that idea impossible.
then i thought,
i’ll throw it on veronica!
that’ll make it interesting.
i tried to put it on her on her way out the door,
and she threw me the look.
the look that says,
“i tolerate this whole knitting obsession of yours because i love you, but if you put that shawl on me and take my picture, i’ll eviscerate you in your sleep.”
sometimes, it’s about not pushing the boundaries of friendship for the sake of the blog. (this lesson in cohabitation brought to you by bitches get stitches) so what does one do when one can’t use nature or feminine beauty to make your knitting look interesting?
shamelessly pimp out your dog, that’s what.
vengeance and a glass of port
July 26, 2010
last night, or early this morning rather,
i conquered the stóra dímun.
it began with 449 stitches,
and now, this bitch is finished!
and huge.
(the picture should give you an idea of scale here)
some notes on the stóra dímun:
it isn’t for the faint of heart.
while technically easy,
you’re gonna need a shit ton of stamina to finish it.
i probably whined more working on this shawl than on anything else i have knit thus far. endless garter stitch isn’t happy mindless knitting,
it’s chinese water torture.
but now that it’s done,
it’s like a ringing in my ear has stopped,
and i can finally appreciate its beauty.
there are only two little things that i’m concerned with.
issue the first: i cast on too tightly
and it’s making it difficult for me to get it to block in the exact position i’d like.
issue the second: i noticed a hole where i didn’t intend.
no, not an extra yarn over.
take a closer look.
yes, it’s what you think.
you’re eyes aren’t lying.
the yarn has indeed snapped,
and my stitches are moving toward oblivion.
not only am i devastated that, in it’s final hour,
stóra dímun has taken one last poisonous stab at my knitterly heart;
i’m truly sad because this shawl is a gift.
and before i even give the bugger away,
it has something truly wrong with it.
you can’t call a repair a design feature.
it’s a hole, a weak spot, a scar,
a mistake!
it doesn’t help that i noticed it after i began blocking it.
all that tugging couldn’t have been good for the hole.
it’s currently 10:45 am est.
i’m just gonna sit here for now,
watching the shawl dry,
sipping on my big glass of port.
and in a while,
i’ll unleash some tapestry needle kung fu on this shawl’s ass,
and put the final nail in its coffin.
you will be a f.o. stóra dímun.
just after i get my refill.
Bitches Get Stitches 