rhinebeck 2013

October 23, 2013

i write at least two rhinebeck posts;
one about my time at the festival, itself,
and the other dedicated to “nips with steven”.

this year was a little different,
and so there will be just this one post.

shall we start with the nips?

ann hanson is always willing to oblige,
DPP_1707 especially for art (bitch took at least a two finger gulp! mad props, ann)

my four-time rhinebeck partner in crime, andrea, took nip number two. DPP_1710

then it was you-von
DPP_1714who clearly enjoyed her nip.

karen, a.k.a. choochooknits,
DPP_1717who was looking particularly svelte in her new grettir.

a woman who is apparently a “somebody” in the knitting world
but whose name i forgot to write down . . .
DPP_1719is revealed to be stefanie japel after a bit of internet stalking.

val of the incomparable duo “flo and val” from butler, pa.
DPP_1723(seriously, you wish you knew these women)

laura chau, a nips with steven virgin.
DPP_1724(who looked at me like as if i were a crazy person but still participated)

and this is where nips with steven ends.
during laura’s nip, sonya alerted me that security had spotted me and the jig was up. though i tried to evade them as nonchalantly as possible, even happening upon an old friend with whom i hoped to hide innocently in the joy of our reunion, security very nicely escorted me out of the fairgrounds to deposit “my alcohol” in my car. thank christ val had given me her spare key or who know where i would’ve been.

i would have been fine with the whole thing,
since i guess i was technically breaking the rules,
but then it got back to me that they were gloating all over the fairgrounds that they had a caught me “chugging my whiskey.”

dudes, it’s not like you solved a murder.
you ruined our fun and censored my art.
the very least you can do
is be accurate.
i hadn’t taken a single nip.

and so now i shame you with this image, kinneared with my full disdain.
DPP_1732(the one on the right is the fascist in question)

while i wasn’t quite ballsy enough to try to sneak the bottle back in,
i refused to be deterred! and thus began:

“virgin nips with steven!”

which began with amy, a.k.a. boogie a.k.a. spunky eclecticDPP_1734(bitch has more names than prince)

followed by stacie, DPP_1737(whose husband, d, totally bailed on the hot pepper challenge this year)

DPP_1741who shares her boss’s level of enthusiasm for art,

and (canadian) erica a.k.a. weetsie
DPP_1746who is strikingly beautiful in person
and whose mild accent i find completely (and unusually) endearing.

then i encountered this guy whose handsomeness put me into some kind of stuttering fugue state wherein i lost all ability to be charming or articulate.

apparently, some time later, i took this shot
DPP_1791i love heather’s semi-literal take on the piece,
“exposing” herself by lifting her knitting.

so that’s it for nips.
i’m not sure if i’ll do it again next year,
but if i do, perhaps i can enlist some lookouts.

after nips with steven,
the hot pepper challenge is the most important of my rhinebeck traditions. this year, the ghost chili was supplanted by the black scorpion chili as the hottest in the world.

not wanting to break with tradition,
andrea and i headed over to face the scorpion at the wild coyote booth.
(anna graciously documented)
DPP_1780this is what i recall of the experience:

1. somehow, andrea and i both decided (independently) to chew on one side of our mouths only, thus minimizing the area affected and proving we are now both pros at this.

2. both of our gums and inner cheeks went numb on the side where we chewed the sample (a tostitos scoop filled with hot sauce for those of you who’re wondering).

3. one of my teeth experienced a shooting pain for about five minutes after the encounter. this worried me.

4. for the next hour, both andrea and i felt a bit . . . unsettled. as if, somehow, the black scorpion chili hot sauce were a drug.
we did not feel normal for some time.

5. while, later on, neither of us had the “sting ring” associated with eating spicy foods, we did each experience an immediate need to use the loo in the middle of the night. while i can’t say the pepper was responsible, i could “sense” it was included in the process.

the rest of rhinebeck was just icing on the cake:

the ravelry baby.
DPP_1752who is, admittedly, pretty cute.

this dude and his tiara.
the purple wizard whose name we found out this year is ed
DPP_1755(apparently, he’s legit. we always thought he just showed up in his wizard digs and walked around for shits and giggles)

the rhinebeck andean players.
anna’s volcanic coke float

beth hansenDPP_1788freshly dyed and dealing nicely with a completely incompetent little girl.

one of the worst haircuts i’ve ever seen.
DPP_1789(the tie-dye doesn’t help)

the embodiment of why crochet is dying off.
these women.
interspecies love.
rhinebeck’s worst dressed.
DPP_1816(more crochet, you’ll note)

and (a blurry) morgaine!
DPP_1818who goes to every fiber festival.

i ended day one with my second rhinebeck celebrity sighting.
this time is was scott cohen of gilmore girls fame.
DPP_1821while he’s no uma thurman, a celebrity is a celebrity. (a big thank you to the twitterverse for a) confirming that i wasn’t crazy and this was in fact a celebrity while b) supplying the name)

day 2:

before leaving for day two,
the day for last minute shopping and lunch,
we got a little silly. what follows will demonstrate
how much fun we have in the cool kids house and confirm for you
that you’re completely jealous you weren’t there with us.

rhinebeck has become a pilgrimage,
the one time of year when i have no responsibilities,
can hang with people who make me laugh, and simply enjoy being for a spell. it’s a necessary restorative and, though difficult, i find a way to make going possible. and i couldn’t be more grateful
to spend the weekend with these sickos. 10411179404_519f5f2a39_o

flo, val, me, annaw
yarnyoldkim, knitsonya, throughtheloops, yarnsuperhero, you-von
angelatong, gab-fab, & choochooknits

21 Responses to “rhinebeck 2013”

  1. Anna Says:


    I’m laughing so hard I’m crying, and also hating self for not recognizing Lorelai’s poor ditched fiance from Gilmore Girls.

  2. Andrea M Says:

    I never saw gilmore girls so I was sure you were crazy, but I’ll have to imdb that dude and see if he really counts as a “celebrity.” In my world, Spunky Eclectic is way more famous. I love how our expressions became so serious frame by frame in the chili challenge. thanks for another great weekend, festival buddy.

  3. Sally at Rivendale Farms Says:

    Thanks for taking me on the virtual Rhinebeck tour every year!! And sorry you got busted.

  4. So great to meet you under the taxidermy, and regret DEEPLY that we missed the group photo and animal heads photo session at the house by leaving earlier.

  5. Barbara S. Says:

    Love your sense of humor. Glad you had a fun, silly weekend.

  6. laurie d Says:

    Best Rhinebeck stories everrrrrrrr.

  7. sonyaphilip Says:

    Again with the sickos! And next time, I will have my wits about me to not just warn, but provide a cunning distraction. Will either practice that sweeping leg martial arts thing, where I can drop a some non-suspecting person next to me and dramatically cry, “Someone help, she’s having a seizure!”.

  8. Yvonne Says:

    1. I hate wordpress for swallowing my words.

    2. It was good to see you again. The photos of you & Kim fighting are HILARIOUS. Thanks for a good chuckle. Looking forward to next year — only 360 more days!

  9. Dale! Says:

    I will blame my lack of appearance this year on Nips with D from the night before. Scotch is a harsh mistress. I didn’t so much bail as spend the day kayaking and wishing we were eating ghost peppers together. Next year there will have to be shenanigans between our houses.

  10. Anna M Says:

    Nips and Virgin Nips are the highlights of my day. I am adding this to my links that I am using to explain to the Joint Filer why a yarn carnival is on my bucket list.

  11. Michelle Says:

    Those chili pictures are making my nauseous even over on the west coast. Hoping I can make it next year again!

  12. As the dude with the tiara, I’m sad that I missed out on the Jamesons…

  13. Hope Says:

    Nips with Steven in a stainless steel “water” bottle, next year! Thanks for sharing!

  14. misa Says:

    Awesome photos and yet more reasons why I’m totally bummed I didn’t make it. My brain always goes on the blink from the the yarn fumes and I don’t take nearly enough pics.

  15. Anonymous, too Says:

    I am insanely jealous. Would have loved to be there to watch you and Andrea turn funny colors at the chili challenge!

    Must echo the idea of putting your intoxicant into a different container. A Thermos would do well, especially if you like your intoxicant well chilled. A bottle from Vernor’s ginger ale might also work. Too bad Jameson’s is too light in color for the cider jug to have been a good alternative, although it could have worked with bourbon or dark rum. (Yes, I can imagine your reaction: “Why would anyone want to drink that p*ss?”)

    Re: celebrities — wouldn’t it have been fun to get the Yarn Harlot together with those squirrels? Especially if they were trying to get into her newly-acquired stash??

  16. Natalie Says:

    Now that I see the pic of the security guy, I did notice him charging around rather purposefully before the Rav meetup. Oh well. And thank goodness I didn’t make any of the pics.

  17. Heidi Says:

    You’re right- I’m consumed with jealousy…

  18. mydogpetey Says:

    OMG ~ My friend and I were in tears reading this post she found this morning. We don’t know your blog or on Ravelry but yes, totally wish we were there with you cool kids. You lived it to the fullest. Bravo. Blog is now bookmarked so we can be jealous the rest of the year too. Maybe next year you can wear those masks into the fair so we can spot you easily! You all captured the Rhinebeck spirit. I am still giggling….

  19. Kathi Says:

    Your pictures are amazing and hilarious! You and your friends are fortunate to be able to gather each year to enjoy each other.

  20. Erica (weetsie) Says:

    You are so sweet, thank you for the lovely compliments.
    It was great to chat with you and I hope to do it again next year! Also, I am in the same house as D & I think inter-house shenanigans sounds like much fun. LOVE the masks. 😀

  21. Sam Says:

    I have never wanted to go to Rhinebeck before, EVER, but now I do. Thanks a lot Steven. I would only want to go with you and your crew though, because you guys obviously rock and are hilariously awesome. Thanks for sharing and letting me live vicariously through you.

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