April 16, 2013

this is my fourth attempt at writing about this

because i saw an image that completely traumatized me,

that made me feel

and react

in ways

i no longer do.

my brain has learned how to protect me.

at least ninety nine percent of the time

i feel nothing, really.

this time,

i just couldn’t handle

this one image

of a man

who is now half a man

if he survives/d.

and all i know now is

i am deeply grateful to have a mom to call crying,

for the joy of friends watching drag queens on television,

for a best friend who talks to me for hours about her life,

for mo,



to anything

but finding the perfect spot in bed.

4 Responses to “boston”

  1. Sally at Rivendale Farms Says:

    No words.

  2. Anonymous, too Says:

    And more hugs. Pass some along to your mom, your friends, and Mo to show your gratitude that they’re in your life. I know exactly the kind of reaction you’re having. That you’re having it shows you have a big, kind, caring heart.

  3. misa Says:

    I think I know which photo you’re talking about, I wish I could unsee it too, I think about him regularly. I was really trying to block it out too but I think I realized that that is a fear response. The whole is just mind boggling and horrible, tragedy on so many fronts. Glad you’re finding comfort in those small moments which are everything.

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