April 16, 2013

this is my fourth attempt at writing about this

because i saw an image that completely traumatized me,

that made me feel

and react

in ways

i no longer do.

my brain has learned how to protect me.

at least ninety nine percent of the time

i feel nothing, really.

this time,

i just couldn’t handle

this one image

of a man

who is now half a man

if he survives/d.

and all i know now is

i am deeply grateful to have a mom to call crying,

for the joy of friends watching drag queens on television,

for a best friend who talks to me for hours about her life,

for mo,



to anything

but finding the perfect spot in bed.