Bitches Get Stitches

when one is feeling particularly stressed
it is best to have some healthy coping mechanisms.
for what use would it be to shoot up heroine every time you had a deadline?
i mean
sure
it’d feel awesome.
but then there’s the whole addiction thing to contend with.
and besides,
heroine chic is so over.

when i am particularly stressed,
as i am and will be until wednesday,
i turn to my old standbys:
1) do work – actually being productive does a lot to alleviate stress.
2) clean my bathroom sink – you don’t realize how dirty it really is.
3) eat – less healthy, but sometimes i need some extra carbs.
4) snuggle mo – mitigates my guilt at his being alone so often.
5) caffeine intake – it’s a legal drug that feels good and aides #1.
6) xanax – cheap, legal, and proof that western medicine is awesome.

but you can’t always turn to your standbys,
because perhaps you’re in the wrong mood
or you’ve used one and it wasn’t enough.
in these moments,
i did deep
and try to recall something i saw on the internet that made me happy.
this video does that for me.

(4:42 is particularly good)

i don’t know why, exactly.
i only know i owe a debt to adrienne martini for bringing it to my attention.

thanks adrienne.

also,

i think i just discovered there’s a mouse in my apartment.

*sigh*

edit: just noticed this was my 300th post. go me.