sock progress and a story
June 12, 2012
sock progress as of last night:
sock progress as of this afternoon:
my instructions say to begin the toe decreases 2.25″ shy of the total sock length. when i measured my sock i had about 6.25″ of sock. when i just about finished my toe decreases,
i’d knitting about 2 more inches,
bring my sock length to
7.5″ total.
now, i’m no math major
but i’m pretty sure 6.25″ + 2.0″ ≠ 7.5″.
therefore, i have come to the only reasonable conclusion;
i am apparently incapable of correctly measuring the length of a sock.
even though these socks are for someone with small lady feet,
i’m pretty sure they don’t have some kind of baby foot;
an inch of negative ease is a bit much
when we’re talking foot length.
7.5″ ain’t gonna cut it.
(that’s what she said!)
last night’s knitting may have been for naught,
but i’ll finish this bitch by tonight.
in life news,
i took my french midterm today,
and it was wicked hard mes amis.
i had to translate a bunch of things
including a passage about mythical creatures in ireland.
to add to that weirdness,
i had the following encounter:
[setting: msu international center courtyard. steven is leaving the atm heading back to the lot where his car is parked]
“hello. how’re you today” says a man in a thick middle eastern accent. unsure that he was addressing me, i turned to see a slight man smiling. apparently, i was being addressed. this is perhaps odd, but not totally outside realm of possibility. we have a large international student population and most of them stay for the summer since it is very expensive to return home. i figured he was just practicing his english or found it amusing to disconcert a stranger by addressing him. soon, however, i realized he was matching my pace.
“i can make friends?” he says.
“excuse me?” i say, confused by the question.
“i can make friends” he repeats more confidently, extending his hand.
while this continued contact enhanced the oddness of this encounter, i was raised to be polite to people. i suppressed initial thought of who is this creepster?! and took his hand, shook it as best one can a limp clammy fish of a hand, and said “sure”. after all, why can’t we all be friends, right?
“what is your name?” he asks.
again, i tell myself he must have just left his esl summer class and is trying to practice his english.
“steven” i say, smiling paternally.
apparently, this is an unusual name to arabic ears since he had a hard time getting his mind and mouth around the phonetics of it. he would ask me that question at least four more times.
“i am __________” he says.
“i’m from saudi arabia. you know where that is?”
i respond affirmatively, trying to hide my annoyance with such a ridiculous question. like i don’t know where saudi arabia is! he continues in this vein, asking if i study here, informing me that he does too and now i’m catching on.
he is practicing his english, i think
since this stuff is foreign language 101.
introductions.
university-themed vocab.
that kind of thing.
i proceed with the pleasantries, answering politely if succinctly in hopes of signally my desire to end this linguistic exchange
when things take a turn:
“i like your body. you have time now?”
now, this isn’t my first time at the rodeo; i’ve been around the block and i’ve had men step to me in a variety of ways. but never have i had a stranger from a foreign land inform me in broad daylight in the middle of campus with people all around that he likes my body and inquire if i “had time now.” i kindly thanked him and informed him that i did not, in fact, “have time now” and continued to walk hoping that would end things. undaunted, he followed me saying,
“no worries. another time. i have car. we can go somewhere.”
i don’t know what kind of pheromone i was putting off that made this man think that i’m the sort of guy who gets into the cars of foreign (or domestic) business majors simply because they ask.
i mean, maybe if he were a saudi prince. . . .
but i digress.
the rest is a bit of blur.
suffice it to say i walked off
unharmed, if totally weirded out.
when i was sure i was out of his line of sight,
i remember pausing, looking back, and thinking:
June 12, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Shit. GO WASH THAT HAND. NOW!!!!
June 12, 2012 at 4:57 pm
I am so glad to have found the blog of someone else who would call their current knitting project “this bitch.”
Also, wtf?
June 12, 2012 at 5:21 pm
I mean, maybe he IS a Saudi prince?
June 12, 2012 at 5:26 pm
May not be your first rodeo, but certainly the most… well, actually I don’t seem to have an adjective there, but it must be the most something. Gave me my best laugh of the day, that’s for sure.
That sock is going to be spectacular, by the way.
June 12, 2012 at 5:37 pm
hahaha That cracked me up!!!!!!!!! I love it! Only you steven, only you..hehe
June 12, 2012 at 5:51 pm
The fuck?! hahaha can’t. Can’t even.
June 12, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Love the sock! I’ve just received my STR shipment (love it!) and am totally excited to see it being knit up-fast knitting, despite the midterm.
The “encounter”? Just.plain.weird.
June 12, 2012 at 7:50 pm
sock? what sock?
whoa, that’s a weird encounter. yikes! doesn’t always pay to be polite, i guess?
June 12, 2012 at 11:28 pm
oh snap!!
simple ESL phrases paired up to make up sleazy pick-up lines…
June 12, 2012 at 11:46 pm
Best wishes for getting Sock 1 sized correctly for dainty, but adult, lady feet — and for avoiding second sock syndrome. Never had it myself, but I understand it can be as uncomfortable as sand in your Speedo.
Speaking of which, your encounter makes me want to EEEEEEEKKKKKKK! Even if he were the most handsome and richest Saudi prince in the world, there were several levels of creepy going on. And I think he was faking how well he spoke English. You seem to have good instincts, young Jedi — don’t ever hesitate to follow them.
June 13, 2012 at 2:02 am
It’s the mohawk. And I am glad you know never to get into a stranger’s car… and he was strange! He didn’t mention oil wells did he?White slavery? And you never have to be that polite. Love you.
you know who.
June 13, 2012 at 6:38 am
Holy crap.
June 13, 2012 at 9:14 am
Sounds like something that would happen on a normal day here in NYC to one of my friends. The Saudi prince line cracked me up. Looking forward to seeing the sock done.
June 13, 2012 at 10:25 pm
The problem with the sock is you need to know where the knuckle of the big toe is before you do the bind off. There is a generic web site for sock lengths based on shoe size, if that helps. I use it sometimes.
That was the lamest comeon I have ever heard. OMG my gay guys would also be in shock. It was almost like a police sting or something. Sorry , so bad.
June 14, 2012 at 12:46 pm
I feel all kinds of creeped out for you,,all kinds. Love your knitting!
June 15, 2012 at 3:28 pm
I love you for sharing stories like this. 🙂
June 19, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Snorted tea our my nose. Best story I’ve heard in quite some time
June 19, 2012 at 10:22 pm
Was he cute?