this post began as an e-mail to stephanie pearl-mcphee.
like many of you, i stalk her blog and on twitter.
like many of you, i’ve even met her a few times.
but somehow, this time, i realized i was being . . . really fucking crazy,
and sending a relative stranger my knitting worries is, well, insane.

instead, i’m writing this blog post
and asking you even more strange readers
for your advice as knitters.

to those few who are close to me, poke no fun,
for i know where you sleep.

the other day,
against all my better judgement,
and with much anxiety in my soul,
i cast on a . . . . project.

this is an important project to me,
and like so many others, is meant as a gift and surprise.
the clincher is of course that this project is . . . well i can’t tell you.
let’s just call it an item, one that has to fit the intended person,
or else i will die inside.

as knitters, we all know that “surprise” and “a item that fits” is a scary combination of concepts. yet somehow, i found it impossible to resist the temptation. i deluded myself with phrases like,

“i’m a good knitter!”
“i’ve knit this item before!”
“the area this item needs to cover is similar in shape and size to that same area on myself so if it’s slightly snug on me, it’ll fit perfectly!”

i even stole a comparable item from the intended person’s repository of things which is really the only hope any knitter has of ever pulling something this off.

but while the gift giver in me says,
“work for the surprise! it’ll be so worth it.”

the knitter in me is saying, “suck it up!
take some good measurements,
and it’ll still be a surprise.
just a less dramatic, exciting, and fulfilling one.”

so i ask you,
what should i do?

i really am extremely confident that this item will fit.
but should i do the smart thing?
the right thing?

i’m generally a rule follower when it comes to knitting.
i knit my swatch, and check my gauge.
i wash my swatch, and recheck my gauge.
i always make sure my contrasting color is in my left had for colorwork.
i buy much more yarn than the pattern requires,
and always in the same dye lot.

can i risk it this once? hoping beyond sense that i have enough good karma to say that maybe, this once, EZ owes me one?

or continue my orthodox ways, recognizing the knitting goddess as the hateful bitch we all know her to be? (praise be to her)

tell me what i want!
(and no. it’s not for you.)