Bitches Get Stitches

anytime i go on some kind of adventure,
i have a difficult time writing about what happened.
writing about my first trip to new york might be the hardest.

i mean, how do you put new york into words?
it is truly unlike any city i’ve ever been to.
i felt like i could fall into some hole,
and no one would ever find me,
or even notice.

my brief time in the n.y.c. taught me a few things,
lessons i’ll take with me when i move there in the summertime.
here are but a few:

1. new york city is big. obvious i know, but having never been there, i didn’t understand what “big” actually meant. other cities may be larger in actual size, but i challenge you to name one that can make you feel as small as new york can.

2. people in new york are prettier. they dress better,
and are possibly genetically superior.
take for example my strawberry blonde friend sarah s. gorgeous right? (and she only lives in brooklyn!)
this of course means, when i move there,
i too will be prettier.
score.

3. cool people work in new york city
like kim. no one is cooler than kim.
after a little galavant in soho, she bought me a birthday lunch,
very cool.

4. at sant ambroeus in the west village
they’ll let you breathe the same air as celebrities and aristocrats,
diamond-studded trophy wives and their cheating husbands,
and eat the best birthday chocolate cake ever. ever!
i mean there’s gold on for christ’s sake!
thanks for the recommendation rocco dispirito.

5. little bits of history are all around you
and if you aren’t careful,
they’ll bring you to tears.
(you didn’t really think i’d let that photo get out, did you?)

6. a fabulous birthday dinner at buddhakan
is best shared with good friends.
if only to help eat all the food when you over order.

7. sometimes, a costume change is necessary
before heading to the next location.

8. you can find a yarn store anywhere, even brooklyn.

9. unless you’re rich,
you’re going to spend hours each day in the subway.

10. and finally, i learned 26 ain’t so bad,
especially in new york city with my soul twin.

after all,
she’ll always be older than me.

merry christmas bitches,
and a fucking fabulous new year!