Bitches Get Stitches

my dear friend, deb, over at first we read, then we write
nominated me for a liebster blog award.
as i read her post,
about how it wasn’t a real award
and how it was basically a chain letter
wrapped in an ‘i like your blog’ love note,
i prayed that, when i reached the bottom,
my name wouldn’t be on there.

of course it was the first.

i’ve spent three years building this blog from the ground up.
i don’t design, or sell anything, so all of my traffic
comes from people who like to read what i write.
how could i possibly taint the blog
with this drivel?!

then. . . . i got a grip
and decided there were two very good reasons to ‘accept’ the award:

1. the opening of deborah’s post echoed my own childhood too much to ignore the bizarre connection. whereas she dreaded getting a chain letter because she,

“didn’t have ten friends to pass a letter on to.”

and

“There is nothing more frightening than hocus-pocus to a girl than the embarrassment of not having ten friends to forward a chain letter on to.”

i was the exact opposite.
i prayed for a chain letter to arrive in the mail.
it’s presence would act as proof that i did, indeed, have friends.
life as an only child growing up in the country a solid 30 minutes from the closest of any of my classmates meant i didn’t really do the whole ‘sleepover birthday party play date’ thing. add to that the fact that i was, well, ‘different’, and i think i desired any affirmation that i was liked.

2. this may be the only blog award i will ever receive. i don’t know how people get nominated for those things, but i do see them occasionally on other blogs (usually ones i feel don’t deserve to be read let alone awarded). i also don’t know if people even care about that kind of thing. but just in case, i won’t turn down what might be the only ‘official’ validation that my blog is liked.

and so,
i present
my liebster award post!

parameters:
1. each person must post eleven things about themselves
2. answer the 11 questions the person giving the award has set for you
3. create eleven questions for the people you will be giving the award to
4. choose eleven people to award and send them a link to your post
5. go to their page and tell them
6. no tag backs

i tried to think of ways to make this more creative,
but i think the great thing about parameters is
you don’t really have to think.
so here goes.

eleven things about me:
i ripped off my style of cursive in the fifth grade from amanda niedszwiecki (sp?), which required switching from holding my pencil on my middle finger to my ring.

one of my biggest childhood traumas is when i was at a farm and was chasing a duckling because i wanted to hold it. i accidentally stepped on it. it did not die quickly. the image haunts me to this day.

when i was about three or four, this boy (paul?) and i used to make a pillow fort and make out. when we got caught i was interrogated. i cried.

i’ve been romantically attracted to exactly one female in my life. her name was sally.

i kinda want to have a kid of my own one day (i think), but doubt it will ever happen.

my (friendly) prejudice against continental knitters makes me think of the doctor seuss story, the sneetches.

aging is one of my greatest fears.

mo’s official akc name is henri’s molière the antimisanthrope.

i bruise easily, and my skin takes color like you wouldn’t believe.

i remember that, as a child, i hated how adults would never listen to me or take anything i had to say seriously. i was determined that, when i was an adult, i would treat children with the respect they deserve. as an adult, i can’t stand children.

i often blog in the nude.

answers to deb’s eleven questions:
Who? – miss scarlet

What? – murdered mr. boddy

When? – last night

Where? – in the hall

How? – using yvette the call girl to do her dirty work (candlestick)

Why? – to protect her business of ‘secrets’

And your favourite word is? – cooooooock! (inside joke)

And your favourite sentence is? – ‘it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife’

Do sheeps shrink in the rain? – nope!

If a taxi goes backwards, does the driver owe you money? – when you enter a taxi, you give up any and all freedoms. you can only pray he’ll let you leave his domain alive and unharmed.

Really? – really.

my eleven questions to the bloggers i will soon nominate:
how was your first sexual experience?

what is your greatest prejudice?

who’s your favorite knitting blogger that isn’t me?

what is the achievement about which you are most proud?

what is your biggest grammatical pet peeve?

what is your most prized possession?

do you enjoy lying?

do prefer men, women, or other?

what is your drink of choice?

what is the best place in the world?

do you think, like i do, that continental knitters are like the sneetches without stars?

my nominations (in no particular order):]
completely cauchy
hizknits
makes the things
martinimade
the daily purl
the panopticon
the yarn harlot
craftivore
blue moon blog
yarn over matter
un joyeux foullis

done!

i’m going to skip the last couple rules.
i’ve frankly done enough work already on this post.
besides, i doubt i would be able to get them all to ‘accept’.
but it would be cool if a couple of them played along.
it wasn’t so bad.