an open letter to robin hansen
February 16, 2011
dear robin,
i’m just writing to thank you ever so much for your article on shagging in the latest issue of “knitting traditions” magazine. never before have i read something about a knitting technique, and been so thoroughly inspired to get out there and do it.
every paragraph is gem,
filled with the most detailed instructions on shagging.
below are some of my favorite quotes from your article:
“they could be used for driving horses but not for putting on the bridle”
“pull the knit apart widthwise just enough to be able to see the crack”
“turn the mitten inside out and darn in all tails before shagging the inside. make the second mitten before shagging the first, lest you lose heart or forget the measurements.”
“shagging changes the the size of the mitten slightly, making them a little wider and longer.”
the list goes on, but suffice it to say,
i loved this article. your shagging how-to should be in everyone’s life.
and i love knowing that, not only will shagging help keep you warm,
it’s not a very time consuming process:
“although i though the shagging would take a long time, when i checked the clock, it took an average of 15 minutes per rib.”
of course, not being the professional shagger that you are,
when i shag, it tends to take significantly longer.
perhaps in time, we’ll all be that speedy.
i encourage anyone interested in shagging to go out to their local yarn store, and purchase the new “knitting traditions” magazine.
you won’t be disappointed.
sincerely yours,
steven
p.s. please tell me you and your editor knew how hilarious this article would be! this just couldn’t have been an accident!
Bitches Get Stitches 
February 16, 2011 at 5:11 pm
OMG! I love it!!
February 16, 2011 at 6:00 pm
Hey, don’t let speed be your goal. Anything worth shagging is worth taking your time with. And hopefully you’ll never lose your heart mid-shag. (Snort)
(Too damn funny, I’d already picked up this magazine the other day, guess I’d better go read that article!)
February 16, 2011 at 11:50 pm
Been reading for a while, off and on, and TOTALLY didn’t expect this post to be what it turned out to be! I can’t be the only one?
February 17, 2011 at 3:59 am
15 minutes per rib?
Damn, I been doin it wrong…
February 17, 2011 at 8:15 am
Now I’m totally going to have to make a trip to the shop so I can peek at this article and see exactly what this shagging business is all about. (Honestly, I keep quoting “The Princess Bride” in my head: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”)
February 17, 2011 at 9:33 am
Ha- just saw this article this past weekend.
February 24, 2011 at 8:05 pm
I snorted coffee out of my nose and mouth as I read this post. Thank you so very much.