for the blog

July 27, 2010

in the back of mind, there is a voice.
it is the voice of the blog.
at any given moment,
it will speak up and say,
“maybe you should blog that.”
“have you written anything today?”
“that’s interesting, but is it blogworthy?”

today, while i was trying to block out the sound of the howler monkeys children “playing” next door, the voice in my head screamed,
“you have to tell them about the hole!”

i contemplated the irony that the voice in my head might have gone off the deep end when i figured out it was talking about yesterday’s incident with the stóra dímun.

as promised,
i wielded my tapestry needle like a pro,
and handed it to my friend yvonne to fix
while i went into the fetal position.

she unleashed her kung fu on its ass,
and it came out beautifully.

today,
the plan was to take an artistic bush photo.
by which i mean,
i would put the stóra dímun in the front hedge,
and take it’s picture, you know, to make it interesting.

the neighbor demons children made that idea impossible.

then i thought,
i’ll throw it on veronica!
that’ll make it interesting.
i tried to put it on her on her way out the door,
and she threw me the look.
the look that says,

“i tolerate this whole knitting obsession of yours because i love you, but if you put that shawl on me and take my picture, i’ll eviscerate you in your sleep.”

sometimes, it’s about not pushing the boundaries of friendship for the sake of the blog. (this lesson in cohabitation brought to you by bitches get stitches) so what does one do when one can’t use nature or feminine beauty to make your knitting look interesting?


shamelessly pimp out your dog, that’s what.

last night, or early this morning rather,
i conquered the stóra dímun.
it began with 449 stitches,
and now, this bitch is finished!

and huge.

(the picture should give you an idea of scale here)

some notes on the stóra dímun:
it isn’t for the faint of heart.
while technically easy,
you’re gonna need a shit ton of stamina to finish it.
i probably whined more working on this shawl than on anything else i have knit thus far. endless garter stitch isn’t happy mindless knitting,
it’s chinese water torture.

but now that it’s done,
it’s like a ringing in my ear has stopped,
and i can finally appreciate its beauty.

there are only two little things that i’m concerned with.

issue the first: i cast on too tightly
and it’s making it difficult for me to get it to block in the exact position i’d like.

issue the second: i noticed a hole where i didn’t intend.

no, not an extra yarn over.

take a closer look.

yes, it’s what you think.
you’re eyes aren’t lying.
the yarn has indeed snapped,
and my stitches are moving toward oblivion.
not only am i devastated that, in it’s final hour,
stóra dímun has taken one last poisonous stab at my knitterly heart;
i’m truly sad because this shawl is a gift.
and before i even give the bugger away,
it has something truly wrong with it.

you can’t call a repair a design feature.
it’s a hole, a weak spot, a scar,
a mistake!

it doesn’t help that i noticed it after i began blocking it.
all that tugging couldn’t have been good for the hole.

it’s currently 10:45 am est.
i’m just gonna sit here for now,
watching the shawl dry,
sipping on my big glass of port.
and in a while,
i’ll unleash some tapestry needle kung fu on this shawl’s ass,
and put the final nail in its coffin.

you will be a f.o. stóra dímun.
just after i get my refill.

i find that sometimes i get writers’ block.
and for days i worry that the few people who actually read what i write on here, will forget me and delete me from their rss feed.
if i’m truly honest with myself,
i know that’s what i’d do.

so i scour ravelry for inspiration.
read a bunch of seriously terrible knitting blogs,
and say to myself, “shit! someone’s got to write something more interesting than that!” (let’s be real. not everyone who knits can write)
then i feel bad, and worry that i’m one of those people.

so i move on, and continue my summer re-reading of stephanie’s blog,
(currently in september of ’04. i’m a bit behind)
and really start feeling bad about my writing.
then i feel blasphemous that,
after only a couple meetings,
i’ve dropped her rightful title,
and i’m referring to her as stephanie.
or worse yet (gods protect me)
steph.

the brazen familiarity horrifies me and my sense of knitterly decorum.

then i realize that it’s 3 bloody am and i need to get a grip.
(i blame an overdose of lasagna)

and suddenly it dawns on me i have too much in the way of knitterly things to write about currently, and i’ll just have to do my best to cover it all.

so….

firstly,
you may remember my boast of starting a blog project called “project ten” where i pose ten questions to what i call the ravelry generation.
it’s basically those fibery people who inspire me, who i want to meet, or i’m jealous of.

that kind of thing.

well,
i’m happy to announce that the first installment comes out this week.
i am thoroughly stoked.

deuxième,
back in early may,
i undertook a stupid challenge.
two of my fellow worker bees started a knit along;
the stora dimun knit along.

as someone who generally wants to fit in,
i thought about joining in the supposed “fun”
but with a shawl that begins with 449 stitches,
i knew i couldn’t afford the yarn,
and couldn’t think who would want the finished item.

my dear friend kelli, whom i love,
said she wanted it but would never knit it.
at least not in a timely manner.
kelli is my mother-sister-auntie,
from day one she’s been like family in a state where i have no kin,
there was no question that i would knit this for her.
plus she was springing for the yarn.

but this shawl is epic.
and mostly plain garter stitch.

(that’s one wing or half the shawl. just to give an idea of scale)

so i’ve been unbelievably unfaithful to it.
i’ve worked on it off and on, but with little joy.
i cast it aside heartlessly for the juneberry for stephanie,
and knit only one row when i was on my retreat.

i decided when i got home,
a meer seven days ago,
i’d work on it furiously,
to honor my love for the kelli,
and to get the fucker off my needles.
it’s all i am going to knit till it’s done.

thirdly,
three days ago i cast on another juneberry triangle.
another gift for a semi-secret recipient.
my roomie will attest that i have declared my personal motto of this summer to be, “i have no shame.”

this is a case in point.
(stats – blue moon luscious silk in the “manly yes, but i like it too” colorway, size 7 (4.5mm) needle)

i think i’ll go knit a row on kelli’s shawl.

but before i go, i want to leave you with a tid bit of gossip.
you may remember that several people have complained about the second chart of the juneberry triangle, i being one of the loudest. the chief complaint is i paid a ton of money for this little canadian magazine, and i deserve a fullly charted pattern, not “work the established pattern into the shawl as new stitches become available remembering that you can only work the yarn over if there are enough stiches to do it’s corresponding decreases.”

don’t even get me started on yarn overs and corresponding decreases!

however! floating around the internets is a copy of the complete second chart, a document supposedly elimnated by the st-denis magazine’s tech editor.

i may or may not have it in my possesion
and i may or may not be able to tell you where to get it.

all i can say is,
if you want to knit this pattern without tears,
find yourself a copy.

à bientôt bitches

just checking in

June 26, 2010

so much has happened on this trip;
i couldn’t possibly articulate it all.
i’ll catch you bitches up later.

promise.

for now,
a knitting sunset:

hopefully that can hold you over.

in the chicago airport

June 23, 2010

today begins a week of vacation here at bitches get stitches.
i’m off to portland to begin a west coast road trip with two great friends.
i hope to have many adventures to share with you all,
but right now. . .

i’m a little sleepy.
i have nothing blogworthy to report,
except that i brought my stora dimum with me to knit on.
some people like to bring small, portable projects on vacation.
i prefer large ones.

there are so many extra hours,
both on planes and in airport terminals.
if i’m going to put that much time into knitting,
it might as well be on something big.

and believe you me,
the stora dimun is on huge mothah fuckah.
for those who don’t know,
you cast on 449 stithces.
just sayin’.
epic.

but i’m unprepared.
there’s no picture of the glorious yarn,
or the progress i’ve made.
(2 more lace rows!)

so here’s a picture to amuse you.
this is what i look like with an hour’s sleep,
living through the six o’clock hour for the second time:

yup! still youthful and fresh looking.
practically perfect in every way,
just like mary poppins.

recovery

May 7, 2010

i’m in a state of recovery.
from my trip to maryland,
and my (second) masters program.

that’s right bitches, i’m graduating.
again.

symptoms?
fatigue, aphasia, loss of time, peeling scalp,
and my room smells like sheep.

course of action?
milk shakes, knitting, find my watch, head and shoulders,
and stay out of my room.

i’m actually doing quite well, and enjoying finding all the pictures of me and my gams floating around the internet.

you can find them on:
linda’s facebook,
kim’s flickr,
anna’s blog,
karen’s photostream,
and elsewhere. i know more people stopped me and asked for my photo than i’ve been able to track down. even with yvonne creating a ravelry thread about them.

but my favorite by far was taken by cristi:

because she kinneared me, and i love her for it.

in knitting news . . .
let’s keep in mind that i’m a relatively new knitter (less than two years),
but there is evidence mounting that my i’m maturing.
for instance, i now have a small stash.
and i have a project that is coming up on its one year anniversary:

my shetland tea shawl.

i find the signs disturbing.
so i’ve decided to fight these manifestations of conventional knitterdom,
and knit the shit out of this before it turns 1.

first step in attaining my goal?
casting on 449 stitches for the stora dimun knit along

(note my yarn ramekin and the perfect alpaca silk soufflé)

what can i say?
i’m a sheep.

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