or to be more accurate,
his work, as we’ve never met.
we have corresponded a couple times
and he seems like a lovely person.

now, you all know me.
i am not one to utter any unkind word
especially against a tall, handsome, ginger-gay
who could probably take me in a scrap.

but this?*
this new “tripartite”?
this lace-weight linen thneed?
raventhatsnotgood
gurl. i know probably spent a lot of time on this,
and that linen probably tore up your fingers.
but no t no shade, not everything you knit
is a publishable design.
just sayin’.

she does know how to work her angles to her advantage though,
looking all young and thin and such.
#shadybitch

anyone is, of course, free to disagree with me.
you’d be wrong, but still, if you do,
you can purchase the pattern here
and join the other fools knitters
who’ve cast this on.

*you gotta click the links to see the pics.
normally, i’d snag them, but as they’re copyrighted,
you’ll just have to visit westknits’ flickr to see the madness.

clockwork and the harlot’nuff said.

tomorrow i recount my epic adventures with the tina in portland

colorado

June 15, 2013

the clockwork is still in colorado (i think)
and sally of rivendale farms (and of the comments)
has been showing it a marvelous time in the centennial state.

it attended the estes park wool market with sally and her pal jill

where it may have broken a rule or two.
???????????????????????????????
(jill seems like my kind of people)

sally and jill found this yarn-bombed tree in lyons, co.
they stopped to “let the clockwork have a visit with its cousins”
???????????????????????????????
sally, i can pretty much guarantee that there’s no relation between my clockwork and what looks like that tree’s thneed.

then, it was off to see jan of cat crap hill (also of the comments)
where it became acquainted with chickens
and jan’s broadway tendencies.
???????????????????????????????
1. the chicken!
2. how fabulous is her name?
3. at first i thought that alpaca was jan’s ponytail.

sally’s husband jim got into the act.
???????????????????????????????
the chickens like him, apparently.

the clockwork was apparently “over served”,
which is, i hear, a common occurrence on cat crap hill.
???????????????????????????????
and sally found it passed out the next day amongst its shame.

and finally, it met my namesake!
???????????????????????????????
steven ambrose jr. looks far better in it than i ever did.

thanks sally.
you did colorado proud!
what’s next, i wonder?

*photo and copy credit go to sally ball, without whom this post would not be possible.

it’s halloween,
sometimes known
as gay christmas.

so it feels oh so right
that i should have a happy post.

maybe some life stuff?
and then the rhinebeck post?
ok i’ll keep the life stuff brief.

1 – i gave a guest lecture today. i, apparently, rocked. i presented a scaled-down version of an article i’m working on. prof liked it. two undergrads came to her office hours and told her how much they enjoyed the class.
go me.
2 – i rewrote my entire comps proposal this week. committee members find it much improved. i continue on, encouraged.
go me.
3 – i have discovered the udon sushi bakery in east lansing. it’s asian fusion in the real sense, pulling from taiwan, korea, and japan. i am obsessed. i plan to eat my way through their entire menu. and the taro bubble tea? divine.
go food.

the combination of these three things has turned my frown entirely upside down. maybe the harlot is right about that whole universe balance business she’s always going on about. the thing that’s kept me going is that, while the stress has been nuclear, i can track real results in my progress in the program and improvement in my work. i might actually make it through this thing and become a scholar i want to be. we’ll see.

but now for the official rhinebeck post.
writing a cohesive narrative about rhinebeck is a fools errand.
instead, i’ll give my overall impression
and let the photos guide me.
sound good?

this is where we stayed.
i realize you’re jealous. you should be. it’s an amazing house.

(but don’t any of you fuckers even think about trying to book it for next year’s rhinebeck. we’ve got dibs. and anyone who tries to snatch it will have to answer to our leader, yarny old kim a.k.a. buttermilf painkcakes)

ahem.

this was my room.
getting this room was the only perk ever accorded to me for being an epic snorer.

this is where we gathered
and modeled our knitsand delayed our departure for the required pre-rhinebeck tomfoolery.

this was the line.
(the leaves were far less peepable this year)

this is misa‘s epic fucking scarf
in which she has knit four lines of robert frost’s ‘mending fences’
if memory serves.
misa?

this was the crowd at into the whirled.
i predicted last year that they were the next big thing. i heard a sales figure that validated that prediction.

this was the miss babs mob
with a bonus stephen west kinnering.

(so last year there was this moment when i saw him and was sure he saw me, recognized me, then looked away. i realize this is completely paranoid and kinda arrogant since, most likely, he has no fucking idea who i am. still. my insanity requires i now keep my distance. maybe next year i’ll get over my lunacy and ask him to be a part of nips with steVen)

speaking of kinnearing,
that is clara parks.

this was the rug
and the lady who hooked it
that made me finally get rug hooking. gorgeous.

this is the very loud andean band that plays every year.
your support bought them those ponchos.

this is the crazy magician wizard man
of whom i am terrified and cannot imagine letting a child near.

this is a cat statue.

this lady fucking wove those bath towelsand i bought the shit out of them!

this is morgaine.
(see my allegan post)

this is what andrea thinks of the crowd.

this is me with david.
he comes from a land down under. i have a crush on him.

this is andrea and i inducting two new people, dale a.k.a. njstacie‘s gingerlovahhusband & michelle into our rhinebeck tradition of sampling the ghost chili (a.k.a. chili fantasma) pepper sauce.
i don’t know why we do this. it is not pleasant. next year, there will be a new, even hotter chili pepper sauce for us to sample: the scorpion chili.
i’m afraid of next year.

(p.s. after this moment, michelle chugged a large chai to cool the burn and threw it right back up into the cup. sorry to put you on blast, girl, but i refuse forget that memory)

these are vicuñas. they are really rare.

this is a pretty sheep.

this is what it looks like
to sit in the leaves of a substandard leaf peeping year.
imagine a good year.

these are some of the yarn bombs we left behind.
next year – horn warmers for the water buffalo head in the den.

this is what we do on the internet early in the morning.

best quote of the weekend:

“ow! my twat. my twat!”
“it’s for art!”

see you next year!

clockwork lives!

August 2, 2012

before i begin, let me tell you a little bit about how blogging works for me. time passes in long spells with nothing for me to write about. then, all of a sudden, five posts’ worth of stuff falls from the sky and lands in my lap. often, if i don’t write about it immediately, it becomes irrelevant and prime blog content is lost. this time, however, i’m going to try to ride this wave of blogworthiness and see if i survive.
here’s hoping for a string of good posts, eh?

first up, who remembers my clockwork?
it stalled out for a bit
but it’s on the move again.
recently, it went to fucking hawaii!

eutrapalia blogged about it here.
it is a tale of joy and woe.
do me a favor and go leave her a comment.
it’s knitters like her that make this silly dream possible!

kateyj took the clockwork to d.c.
here it is at the evolution exhibit of the smithsonian

and here it is on katey’s shuttle driver, marlon
katey is very organized
and has taken charge of getting the clockwork where it needs to go.
if you’re interested in hosting the clockwork,
maybe you can ravelry stalk her.

as for me,
i’m going to try to plan tomorrow’s post.
can you all handle two in a row?

winners

September 24, 2011

well i guess i’ve let this drag on long enough.
it’s time to announce some winners.

first prize, my thendara, goes to tina b.
the random number generator picked her number.
congrats babe!

there was only supposed to be one second secret prize;
it was meant for the person who resposted the giveaway in most creative way. but how could i pick just one when
two ladies really stood out.

first there was tammy.
tammy got her coworkers to harass me into giving her my thendara.
i firmly believe in harassing people to get things you want.
i think it’s an only child thing.

while i couldn’t just give her my thendara
(that would be breaking the rules after all)
i have to applaud that kind of ingenuity.

then we have cynthia s.
she printed out my blog post
and stuck it out on a telephone pole.
that, bitches, is some fucking creativity.

so cynthia and tammy will be getting a copy of westknits book three
compliments of yours truly.

if either of you makes a thendara,
i’d love to see it.

until next time!

mircoblog giveaway

September 16, 2011

i don’t have much time,
but since so many people so belligerently kindly told me
that my thendara was worth it, i’ll give it away.

the bitches get stitches thendara giveaway

the rules: the only thing you need to do to enter this giveaway is share this blog post in some fashion. you can tweet it, blog it, google+ it, post on ravelry, whatever. there should even be some convenient buttons at the bottom of the post to make sharing easier.

then, just leave a comment letting me know that you did it.
we’re on the honor system here.

the prize(s):
my thendara (minus the mo, obviously), knit in sanguine gryphon bugga!.

there will also be a secret prize given to the person who(m?) i deem reposts this in the most interesting way.

good luck bitches!

edit: a winner has been chosen. thanks for playing!

p.s. you can currently pre-order westknits book three and knit one for yourself as well! go on. buy it. now!

this is just to say

September 13, 2011

i have made a,
stephen west
neck accessory,
thendara.

the yarn carried up
the side is
too tight,
it puckers.

does an imperfect
edge mean i
shouldn’t give it
away?

(seriously. i wanted to give this away on the blog, but is it wrong to give away something with a wonky edge? does anybody want it?)

spunky clockwork

May 26, 2011

in all the confusion of my life,
i kinda lost track of my traveling clockwork.
last i knew, it was with amy aka boogie aka spunky eclectic.

photo courtesy of amy/spunky eclectic

she passed it on to erica d. in toronto.
other than that, i’ve lost track of it.
erica, if you’re out there,
i hope you’ve taken care of it!

if anyone else has spotted it on the internets,
do let me know, won’t you?
i worry so.

am i just a creepo?

February 17, 2011

as a rule,
i don’t really believe in knitting prayer shawls.
i’m not sure why, exactly. perhaps it’s simply my inner cynic.
but, with all the many tragedies occurring in my periphery,
none has ever compelled me to knit a damn thing.

for me, knitting is about happiness,
the joy of beautiful yarn,
the mediation of repetitive motion,
the focus required to execute a high degree of difficulty.

simply put,
knitting is a selfish act.
at least for me.

and while i do give most of what i knit away to other people,
i’m only looking for that smile on their face.
it’s the best drug.

recently, though, i read a blog post that literally brought tears to my eyes. and, for whatever reason, i finally felt that need to comfort through knitting. three days later, a boneyard was born.
i decided to use the handspun tina gave me for my birthday.
she made me promise i wouldn’t treasure it;
i had to knit something with it.
this felt appropriate.

we all know that, with handspun, you have to be extremely careful.
if i ran out, i couldn’t just call tina and be like,
“whip up some more of this yarn please!
i’m making a shawl and need to bind off.”

believe me when i say i cut it close.
i was weighing that ball after repeat.
and following a sewn bind off that took me three hours to finish,
i had this much yarn left:
it’s roughly a yard and a half.
not bad, right?

the shawl went out in today’s mail,
and should arrive by saturday.

but now i’m all worried.

we’re not exactly real friends.
yes we tweet back and forth,
and occasionally comment on each other’s blog.
it’s . . . . a ravelry friendship i guess you’d say.
two people brought together in cyberspace because of our mutual love of all things knitterly.

but there’s a fine line between doing something touching, and plain old-fashioned stalking. and that line is always drawn by the other person.

is it weird to just send a knitter i’ve never met a prayer shawl?
am i just a creepo?

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