rhinebeck 2013

October 23, 2013

generally,
i write at least two rhinebeck posts;
one about my time at the festival, itself,
and the other dedicated to “nips with steven”.

this year was a little different,
and so there will be just this one post.

shall we start with the nips?

ann hanson is always willing to oblige,
DPP_1707 especially for art (bitch took at least a two finger gulp! mad props, ann)

my four-time rhinebeck partner in crime, andrea, took nip number two. DPP_1710

then it was you-von
DPP_1712
DPP_1713
DPP_1714who clearly enjoyed her nip.

karen, a.k.a. choochooknits,
DPP_1717who was looking particularly svelte in her new grettir.

a woman who is apparently a “somebody” in the knitting world
but whose name i forgot to write down . . .
DPP_1719is revealed to be stefanie japel after a bit of internet stalking.

val of the incomparable duo “flo and val” from butler, pa.
DPP_1723(seriously, you wish you knew these women)

laura chau, a nips with steven virgin.
DPP_1724(who looked at me like as if i were a crazy person but still participated)

and this is where nips with steven ends.
during laura’s nip, sonya alerted me that security had spotted me and the jig was up. though i tried to evade them as nonchalantly as possible, even happening upon an old friend with whom i hoped to hide innocently in the joy of our reunion, security very nicely escorted me out of the fairgrounds to deposit “my alcohol” in my car. thank christ val had given me her spare key or who know where i would’ve been.

i would have been fine with the whole thing,
since i guess i was technically breaking the rules,
but then it got back to me that they were gloating all over the fairgrounds that they had a caught me “chugging my whiskey.”

dudes, it’s not like you solved a murder.
you ruined our fun and censored my art.
the very least you can do
is be accurate.
i hadn’t taken a single nip.

and so now i shame you with this image, kinneared with my full disdain.
DPP_1732(the one on the right is the fascist in question)

while i wasn’t quite ballsy enough to try to sneak the bottle back in,
i refused to be deterred! and thus began:

“virgin nips with steven!”

which began with amy, a.k.a. boogie a.k.a. spunky eclecticDPP_1734(bitch has more names than prince)

followed by stacie, DPP_1737(whose husband, d, totally bailed on the hot pepper challenge this year)

erica,
DPP_1741who shares her boss’s level of enthusiasm for art,

and (canadian) erica a.k.a. weetsie
DPP_1746who is strikingly beautiful in person
and whose mild accent i find completely (and unusually) endearing.

then i encountered this guy whose handsomeness put me into some kind of stuttering fugue state wherein i lost all ability to be charming or articulate.

apparently, some time later, i took this shot
DPP_1791i love heather’s semi-literal take on the piece,
“exposing” herself by lifting her knitting.

so that’s it for nips.
i’m not sure if i’ll do it again next year,
but if i do, perhaps i can enlist some lookouts.

after nips with steven,
the hot pepper challenge is the most important of my rhinebeck traditions. this year, the ghost chili was supplanted by the black scorpion chili as the hottest in the world.

not wanting to break with tradition,
andrea and i headed over to face the scorpion at the wild coyote booth.
(anna graciously documented)
DPP_1768
DPP_1769
DPP_1770
DPP_1771
DPP_1774
DPP_1775
DPP_1776
DPP_1780this is what i recall of the experience:

1. somehow, andrea and i both decided (independently) to chew on one side of our mouths only, thus minimizing the area affected and proving we are now both pros at this.

2. both of our gums and inner cheeks went numb on the side where we chewed the sample (a tostitos scoop filled with hot sauce for those of you who’re wondering).

3. one of my teeth experienced a shooting pain for about five minutes after the encounter. this worried me.

4. for the next hour, both andrea and i felt a bit . . . unsettled. as if, somehow, the black scorpion chili hot sauce were a drug.
we did not feel normal for some time.

5. while, later on, neither of us had the “sting ring” associated with eating spicy foods, we did each experience an immediate need to use the loo in the middle of the night. while i can’t say the pepper was responsible, i could “sense” it was included in the process.

the rest of rhinebeck was just icing on the cake:

the ravelry baby.
DPP_1752who is, admittedly, pretty cute.

this dude and his tiara.
DPP_1754
the purple wizard whose name we found out this year is ed
DPP_1755(apparently, he’s legit. we always thought he just showed up in his wizard digs and walked around for shits and giggles)

the rhinebeck andean players.
DPP_1756
anna’s volcanic coke float
DPP_1759

beth hansenDPP_1788freshly dyed and dealing nicely with a completely incompetent little girl.

one of the worst haircuts i’ve ever seen.
DPP_1789(the tie-dye doesn’t help)

the embodiment of why crochet is dying off.
DPP_1792
these women.
DPP_1800
DPP_1801
DPP_1802
DPP_1803
interspecies love.
DPP_1808
rhinebeck’s worst dressed.
DPP_1816(more crochet, you’ll note)

and (a blurry) morgaine!
DPP_1818who goes to every fiber festival.

i ended day one with my second rhinebeck celebrity sighting.
this time is was scott cohen of gilmore girls fame.
DPP_1821while he’s no uma thurman, a celebrity is a celebrity. (a big thank you to the twitterverse for a) confirming that i wasn’t crazy and this was in fact a celebrity while b) supplying the name)

day 2:

before leaving for day two,
the day for last minute shopping and lunch,
we got a little silly. what follows will demonstrate
how much fun we have in the cool kids house and confirm for you
that you’re completely jealous you weren’t there with us.
JG6A5283
JG6A5310
IMG_1148
IMG_1147
JG6A5339
JG6A5340JG6A5345IMG958373DPP_1827DPP_1845
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DPP_1855
DPP_1859
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DPP_1867IMG_1142

rhinebeck has become a pilgrimage,
the one time of year when i have no responsibilities,
can hang with people who make me laugh, and simply enjoy being for a spell. it’s a necessary restorative and, though difficult, i find a way to make going possible. and i couldn’t be more grateful
to spend the weekend with these sickos. 10411179404_519f5f2a39_o

flo, val, me, annaw
yarnyoldkim, knitsonya, throughtheloops, yarnsuperhero, you-von
angelatong, gab-fab, & choochooknits

it’s halloween,
sometimes known
as gay christmas.

so it feels oh so right
that i should have a happy post.

maybe some life stuff?
and then the rhinebeck post?
ok i’ll keep the life stuff brief.

1 – i gave a guest lecture today. i, apparently, rocked. i presented a scaled-down version of an article i’m working on. prof liked it. two undergrads came to her office hours and told her how much they enjoyed the class.
go me.
2 – i rewrote my entire comps proposal this week. committee members find it much improved. i continue on, encouraged.
go me.
3 – i have discovered the udon sushi bakery in east lansing. it’s asian fusion in the real sense, pulling from taiwan, korea, and japan. i am obsessed. i plan to eat my way through their entire menu. and the taro bubble tea? divine.
go food.

the combination of these three things has turned my frown entirely upside down. maybe the harlot is right about that whole universe balance business she’s always going on about. the thing that’s kept me going is that, while the stress has been nuclear, i can track real results in my progress in the program and improvement in my work. i might actually make it through this thing and become a scholar i want to be. we’ll see.

but now for the official rhinebeck post.
writing a cohesive narrative about rhinebeck is a fools errand.
instead, i’ll give my overall impression
and let the photos guide me.
sound good?

this is where we stayed.
i realize you’re jealous. you should be. it’s an amazing house.

(but don’t any of you fuckers even think about trying to book it for next year’s rhinebeck. we’ve got dibs. and anyone who tries to snatch it will have to answer to our leader, yarny old kim a.k.a. buttermilf painkcakes)

ahem.

this was my room.
getting this room was the only perk ever accorded to me for being an epic snorer.

this is where we gathered
and modeled our knitsand delayed our departure for the required pre-rhinebeck tomfoolery.

this was the line.
(the leaves were far less peepable this year)

this is misa‘s epic fucking scarf
in which she has knit four lines of robert frost’s ‘mending fences’
if memory serves.
misa?

this was the crowd at into the whirled.
i predicted last year that they were the next big thing. i heard a sales figure that validated that prediction.

this was the miss babs mob
with a bonus stephen west kinnering.

(so last year there was this moment when i saw him and was sure he saw me, recognized me, then looked away. i realize this is completely paranoid and kinda arrogant since, most likely, he has no fucking idea who i am. still. my insanity requires i now keep my distance. maybe next year i’ll get over my lunacy and ask him to be a part of nips with steVen)

speaking of kinnearing,
that is clara parks.

this was the rug
and the lady who hooked it
that made me finally get rug hooking. gorgeous.

this is the very loud andean band that plays every year.
your support bought them those ponchos.

this is the crazy magician wizard man
of whom i am terrified and cannot imagine letting a child near.

this is a cat statue.

this lady fucking wove those bath towelsand i bought the shit out of them!

this is morgaine.
(see my allegan post)

this is what andrea thinks of the crowd.

this is me with david.
he comes from a land down under. i have a crush on him.

this is andrea and i inducting two new people, dale a.k.a. njstacie‘s gingerlovahhusband & michelle into our rhinebeck tradition of sampling the ghost chili (a.k.a. chili fantasma) pepper sauce.
i don’t know why we do this. it is not pleasant. next year, there will be a new, even hotter chili pepper sauce for us to sample: the scorpion chili.
i’m afraid of next year.

(p.s. after this moment, michelle chugged a large chai to cool the burn and threw it right back up into the cup. sorry to put you on blast, girl, but i refuse forget that memory)

these are vicuñas. they are really rare.

this is a pretty sheep.

this is what it looks like
to sit in the leaves of a substandard leaf peeping year.
imagine a good year.

these are some of the yarn bombs we left behind.
next year – horn warmers for the water buffalo head in the den.

this is what we do on the internet early in the morning.

best quote of the weekend:

“ow! my twat. my twat!”
“it’s for art!”

see you next year!

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