rhinebeck 2013: countdown

September 22, 2013

because my (likely vain) pursuit of becoming an “academic”
requires a gradually increasing inhuman amount of work
such that anything that involves fiber
has been all but completely eliminated from my life
my annual trip to rhinebeck is especially important to me this year.

these are the things i love about rhinebeck:

1. the homeric two-day road trip with my fiber buddy andrea; epic driver, designer, yarn hocker, networker, and the brains (and brawn) behind yarn superhero llc. we laugh, swear, gossip, judge, eat, harmonize to joni mitchell for hours, and peep the shit out of some leaves. this drive is the initial decompression required for me to (try to) forget my real life and put me in the rhinebeck state of mind.

2. i stay at the cool kids house. while i’m not famous, and there are definitely houses with more famous yarny people in them, our rhinebeck house is by far where the real cool kids stay. fuck the ravelry peeps and their damn baby. fuck whatever cabin in the woods the yarn harlot or clara parks might be staying in. we stay here. while most of the details are completely confidential, let me just say that there’s some extraordinary inappropriateness that goes down at our house.
you wish you were invited.
but you’re not.

3. this year, my old friend, coworker, and yarn-store sibling, anna, will finally be coming to rhinebeck. she will be staying at the cool kids house. (the details aren’t clear, but i think there was a horrible death in the group that led to an opening. i don’t ask question)

4. my lack of vagina combined with intense undiagnosed sleep apnea means i get my own room. as an only child, this makes my soul rejoice.

5. the food. people have strong opinions about the food at rhinebeck. after a few years, this is what i think. the artichokes are not worth the line. the lamb ravioli with a side of garlic spinach is. i skip the shitty breakfast sandwiches and load up on apple donuts and cider. bring your own booze.

6. the ghost chili challenge. this will mark the third year of andrea’s and my masochistic indulgence at the hot sauce counter, thus making it into a tradition. the ghost chili is the world’s hottest pepper (last year, we had some fellow tasters, one of whom vomited after) but we just can’t seem to resist becoming high school boys for a few minutes to relish the feeling of doing something stupid for its own sake. this year, if memory serves, there’s a rumor that the hot sauce man has acquired the new, even hotter scorpion chili whose spiciness supposedly makes the ghost chili look like a lovely glass of milk fresh from the cow’s teet.
pray for us.

7. judging famous knitters based on their outfits.
(no elaboration necessary).

there are other things,
things i can’t put into words,
things i can’t even think of at 2:34 in the morning.

but the my favorite thing about rhinebeck
is “nips with steven: a rhinebeck photo essay”.
(check out year 1 here and year 2 here, if you need a reminder)

my goal is to outdo the previous year.
so if you’re going to rhinebeck,
or know someone who is,
look for me
and be a part of rhinebeck herstory.

it’s for art.

in other news,
the clockwork is on the move.
it was last seen with some new hampshire knitteratti:
photoright to left: thea colman (babycocktails), dawn catanzaro, diana (bestitched), julia farwell-clay. unseen & across the table were cecily glowik macdonald, bristol ivy, ellen mason (odacier), & erin m.
(who is rather immune to internet stalking so no link for her!)
photo courtesy of misa

clockwork visits turkey

September 13, 2013

the country, not the bird.

my friend misa, queen of colorwork,
knitter of the owl and the pussycat dress,
took the clockwork with her on her trip to turkey.

she blogged about it here.
IMG_3543go check out the pics and let me know what you think!

the truth is out there

August 7, 2013

this morning i received a package from an anonymous source.
in it was the as yet unseen evidence of the clockwork
and its time on the fiber trash girls’s retreat.
again, the details are sketchy;
no one knows what actually happened.
but it looks like some freaky shit may have gone down.
(names have been omitted to protect the innocent)
retreat 7
retreat 8
retreat 9
retreat 10
retreat 11
retreat 12
retreat 13(that one’s my favorite)
retreat 14(she’s serving “don’t fuck with the woolydaisy” realness)
retreat 15
retreat 16
retreat 17
retreat 18
retreat 19
retreat 20you could not pay me to go down there. so blair witch.
retreat 21i . . . there are no words.
but by my count,
the clockwork hung out with at least
8 women, 1 corgi, 1 braid of wool top,
and a felted alien.

only in california.

thanks again to the fiber trash girls and the woolydaisy for hosting the clockwork! edit: that was my 350th post!

golden state

August 6, 2013

in mid july,
stephanie and the fiber trash girls
took the clockwork on their annual (knitting?) retreat.
i think their motto is “what happens in the woods, stays in the woods”
because i have no explanation for the following images.

this is their cabin
image 1
image 2very deliverance chic.

then there’s this . . . gentleman.
not sure which is creepier: a clockwork on a dummy with a gun
image 3
image 4or with a baby (lover?)

then there’s this guy
image 5proving that clockworks should only be worn by dogs.

notice there’re no pictures of stephanie or any of the fiber trash girls, themselves. we can only assume that these retreats of theirs are so debaucherous that all evidence is destroyed.
if it ever existed in the first place
image 6anyone else getting a blair witch vibe from these pics?

thanks ladies for taking care of the clockwork!
(and getting the blood stains out)

clockwork and the harlot’nuff said.

tomorrow i recount my epic adventures with the tina in portland

colorado

June 15, 2013

the clockwork is still in colorado (i think)
and sally of rivendale farms (and of the comments)
has been showing it a marvelous time in the centennial state.

it attended the estes park wool market with sally and her pal jill

where it may have broken a rule or two.
???????????????????????????????
(jill seems like my kind of people)

sally and jill found this yarn-bombed tree in lyons, co.
they stopped to “let the clockwork have a visit with its cousins”
???????????????????????????????
sally, i can pretty much guarantee that there’s no relation between my clockwork and what looks like that tree’s thneed.

then, it was off to see jan of cat crap hill (also of the comments)
where it became acquainted with chickens
and jan’s broadway tendencies.
???????????????????????????????
1. the chicken!
2. how fabulous is her name?
3. at first i thought that alpaca was jan’s ponytail.

sally’s husband jim got into the act.
???????????????????????????????
the chickens like him, apparently.

the clockwork was apparently “over served”,
which is, i hear, a common occurrence on cat crap hill.
???????????????????????????????
and sally found it passed out the next day amongst its shame.

and finally, it met my namesake!
???????????????????????????????
steven ambrose jr. looks far better in it than i ever did.

thanks sally.
you did colorado proud!
what’s next, i wonder?

*photo and copy credit go to sally ball, without whom this post would not be possible.

you’ve got mail

May 20, 2013

today,
or perhaps more accurately,
tomorrow morning,
the u.s. postal service,
whom i adore,
will do its thing
and send the clockwork
back out on the open road.
photoor, i guess, into the big blue sky.

whatever.

you know what i mean.

after more than two years,
and i’m a long way from achieving my goal.
but i’ve got a good feeling about this leg of the journey.
here’s hoping we see a lot of the clockwork over the summer!

if you want to help,
and haven’t been added to the list,
just go ahead and leave a comment.

thanks, bitches!

clockwork revient

May 14, 2013

those of you who have stuck with me over the years may recall
that i made a clockwork, didn’t like it (on me)
and sent it on an adventure

that was over two year ago.

i cast it to the wind,
entrusting it to the kindness of knitters
to help it see all fifty u.s. states (and then some).

at some point,
its travels stalled out.
and i lost track of it,

after making appropriate sacrifices to the internets gods
DPP_1491and it has returned to me!

absence has certainly made the hear throw fonder
as i am now completely smitten with my little clockwork.

however,
i’d still like it to finish its journey.
so i think i’m going to send it back out into the world.
except this time, i’m going to play a bigger role in its travels.

but i need your help to do it!
so if you’d like to host the clockwork
and help me finish this project before, say 2015,
then read on!

the clockwork adventure 2.0
to be an effective clockwork host you must

1. be willing to show it a good time in your home state/province/country. nothing fancy, just take it out of it’s ziplock and into the world.

2. take a photo of the clockwork having fun and send it to me. like i said, it doesn’t have to be fancy. a photo in your shrubbery will do as well as a famous tourist sight.

3. be willing send it on to someone else. the clockwork relies on the kindness of strangers to get about.

the main goal of this adventure is for the clockwork to see all fifty states. a secondary goal is visiting all the canadian provinces. all international trips are just amazing bonuses! if you’d like to volunteer, just leave me a comment. but check out the clockwork’s page to see where it’s been and where it still needs to go, first.

help a knitter out?
*retweets and facebooking this post would be much appreciated!

clockwork lives!

August 2, 2012

before i begin, let me tell you a little bit about how blogging works for me. time passes in long spells with nothing for me to write about. then, all of a sudden, five posts’ worth of stuff falls from the sky and lands in my lap. often, if i don’t write about it immediately, it becomes irrelevant and prime blog content is lost. this time, however, i’m going to try to ride this wave of blogworthiness and see if i survive.
here’s hoping for a string of good posts, eh?

first up, who remembers my clockwork?
it stalled out for a bit
but it’s on the move again.
recently, it went to fucking hawaii!

eutrapalia blogged about it here.
it is a tale of joy and woe.
do me a favor and go leave her a comment.
it’s knitters like her that make this silly dream possible!

kateyj took the clockwork to d.c.
here it is at the evolution exhibit of the smithsonian

and here it is on katey’s shuttle driver, marlon
katey is very organized
and has taken charge of getting the clockwork where it needs to go.
if you’re interested in hosting the clockwork,
maybe you can ravelry stalk her.

as for me,
i’m going to try to plan tomorrow’s post.
can you all handle two in a row?

spunky clockwork

May 26, 2011

in all the confusion of my life,
i kinda lost track of my traveling clockwork.
last i knew, it was with amy aka boogie aka spunky eclectic.

photo courtesy of amy/spunky eclectic

she passed it on to erica d. in toronto.
other than that, i’ve lost track of it.
erica, if you’re out there,
i hope you’ve taken care of it!

if anyone else has spotted it on the internets,
do let me know, won’t you?
i worry so.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 592 other followers