anna

January 21, 2016

the great thing about friends
is they give you permission
to breathe.

or in this, particular case
an opportunity,
an excuse.

so many “reasons”
(excuses, really)
kept me from knitting.

but then, a perfect storm:
rhinebeck and
bubblestar.

(there’s another ingredient, a catalyst,
but i can’t write about
everything,
now,
can i?)

i made a hat.IMG_1668IMG_1667and then another.
and another.

(apparently, there’s a shawl happening, too.)

and somehow, suddenly,
i’m a knitter again.
thanks, anna.

and my kingdom as great.

You have no power over me.

R.I.P., Goblin King

pre-dawn london

December 14, 2015

“the city,” specifically.
walking against the flow
of business suits, past
impossibly skinny jeans on
the beer delivery model,
listening to “jumpers” as i pass
buildings older than my country
in search of breakfast where at
i discover
i need a reservation,
(a booking, here).

as i sit in hawksmoor
looking at five, other diners
i can’t help but wonder
how i came to live a life
so exactly
perfect.

“i’m sorry, sir
we’re out of the lobster benedict.”

there it is.

a f.o.

November 17, 2015

look at me!
i have a f.o. to share!
IMG_9909
(project details here)

this shit was completed ages ago;
i made it for the singular sonya phillip.
though i intended to gift it at rhinbeck 2014,
circumstances conspired against me.

but i got it to her!
and she like it!
and she kindly sent a very flattering pic of it!
and i feel like exclaiming about it all over the place!
and this is really all just a way to avoid writing my dissertation!

rhinebeck 2015: shamé

October 20, 2015

how to talk about rhinebeck.
how to talk about rhinebeck
when you haven’t talked
about knitting
in ages.

start simple.
DPP_3067the loot.

this was, perhaps,
the most restrained i’ve been
at a fiber festival, mostly just
replenishing those things i always do.

to begin,DPP_3083my rhinebeck knitting.

i haven’t been knitting at all. at. all.
so i started simple with a garter stitch scarf knit lengthwise
using the fiber optic paint box gradient in swamp muck
purchased at rhinebeck in 2013.

i’m definitely not as deft as i once was;
i dropped a lot of stitches,
my gauge is inconsistent,
and i had to take breaks for achey hands,
but boy did it feel great to knit again.
gotta love that shift in brain waves
brought on by a repetitive action.

so since i was using this paintbox,
i gave myself permission to replace it.
(i couldn’t get a good shot on its own, but you see it in the first pic.
the colorway is steampunk in the kashmir base)

then i went to my towel lady, karen tenney,
of hawk meadow mountain handwoven textiles.
DPP_3082(look how artistic that macro shot is)

my mom’s been kinda awesome this year in the face of pretty intense stress. so when i saw these two towels that match the one i got her last time, i knew what i was buying from karen this go ’round.
(she doesn’t have a website, apparently,
but if you want more info you can email her here)

then i got my stock of handmade soap from simpler thyme.DPP_3078
a couple lavender, a tea tree, and sandalwood will last me a while.

i also stopped by gene matras’ booth,
DPP_3084stocking up on some of his notecards to sustain my semi-secret paper addiction. (*sigh* another artsy macro shot showing only the ass of the sleepy pig notecard. i guess i’m out of practice with photography as well.
at least you get an idea of the level of detail in his work)

someday, i’m going to get one of his originals.
and i better do it quick; he’s no spring chicken.

this next item i didn’t even have to purchase.
on the anniversary of the annual chili pepper challenge andrea and i inaugurated five years ago at which we (and now most of our housemates) sample the hottest sauce at the wild coyote booth,
old man chili himself gave us each
a free bottle of hot sauce.
DPP_3081he gave me a bottle of buried alive, the sauce that gets its flavor and heat via not one not two but all three varietals of the ghost chili.
this shit does not. fuck. around.

and finally,
the favorite thing i got a rhinebeck:
DPP_3068 a selection of pieces gifted by sonya philip from her microscopy series. this gave me a lot of feels. a lot. i’ve admired sonya’s work since before i even knew who she was. and for her to just give me this work that she made… it meant a lot. i’ll treasure them and give them a place of honor in my tiny house.

well kids, that’s it for the loot.DPP_3074i’m still meditating on how to tackle my rhinebeck post proper.
it was…an incredible retreat from reality, so restorative.
it stirred up a lot of things in me, happy parts of me
that haven’t been a part of my life in a while now.
i’m feeling really lucky to have gone
and want to write it up right.

see you tomorrow?

dear world.
have i been going.
through.
it.
this.
week!

the details of which
are relegated to my actual journal.
but shit, man, let me tell you;
this week, i’ve been blabbing
to anyone who’d listen.
strangers even.

be warned.
asking, “how are you?”
is going to get a real response.
now is not the time to expect pleasantries from me.

i’ve been trying to pull back
from the specifics of what’s been bothering me
to think about what it says about who i am.
(i try to be reflective whenever possible)

and these are the things i know to be true:

i have worked really hard over the past four years to imbricate myself within a network of friends who love and respect me. i would argue that i rarely call upon that network in times of need, emotional especially, but i’ve had to the past couple of weeks and all i can say is my investment has paid off. my work (such as it is) and friendships are on. fucking. point. this year and i’m being consciously grateful for that.

i have also come to realize that in focusing on strengthening certain parts of my personality, work ethic, and friendships, i have created a false sense of security, a kind of bubble if you’ll pardon the lame metaphor. i operate under a delusion that i am in far greater control of my life, or perhaps more accurately myself, than i actually am because i’ve limited its general scope. this means that, when faced with new things, especially things that are unexpectedly difficult and generally foreign to how i live ma vie quotidienne, i am basically a child. the adult, rational part of my brain, overdeveloped through years of academic discipline, is simply inadequate for certain challenges. i’m not sure what to do about that quite yet, but i imagine recognizing a weakness in my character (by which i mean things with which i am unpracticed) is a good first step.

all of this is beginning to sound like an epic subtweet of sorts, a kind of return to the “i know who my real friends are” or “you know what you did” moments of livejournal circa 2004. this is not my goal. my goal is to point out two things:

1. i have come to realize that asking for help is a good thing because i have people in my life who’ll do it without question. i am going to allow myself to be “weak” now and then. (though i’m to make a habit of it)

2. i love the upjohn company for their creation of xanax because god knows i’d never make it through this life without the help of a little western medicine now and then.

setting all this cryptic emotional bullshit aside, (which is suddenly feeling so self indulgent that i should have just written it in my actual journal after all) how about ending on a high note, eh?

i think it’s been roughly 1.5 years
since i’ve knit
a single stitch.

(this is,
of course,
simply an estimate
as i’m far to lazy to confirm)

but look what i dug up
IMG_6723
airports require knitting, right?*

i’m hoping i can re-access
that meditative quality that
drew me to knitting to begin with
because the alternative is bourbon
and mixing pills and booze, well,
that’s a road one should avoid.

right?

 

 

 

*pray for my gauge

revision day poem

May 5, 2015

part of my writing process
is to use poetry as inspiration,
as a break from writing,
as mantra.

knowing me,
today’s poem has likely been posted here before.
but i’m holding on to it today fiercely,
forcing myself toward a revision
finish line.

>fingers crossed<

When Butches Cry
by Bonni Barringer

When butches cry
they weep, they wail
They gnash their teeth
and moan.

Strong woman’s pain
It’s just the same
Except it’s mostly done
Alone.

vaginal knitting

January 9, 2015

this. is. amazing!

a star is born

August 17, 2014

if you live in the metro detroit area,
and didn’t make it to one of the detroit city distillery
bottle releases & tastings this weekend,
then you missed out on the event
of the summer.

i’d been stalking DCD for a while
when fate sat me across from owner,
(apparent) front man, and detroit’s newest
most eligible bachelor,
michael forsyth,
at de la tierra,
a pop-up art show and dinner.

it was one of those moments of kismet when,
if you’re trying at all to be part of
what can only be called
detroit’s exploding food/booze/art scene,
you inevitably run into someone who’s doing something fabulous.

and so, a month or so later,
when i got the advance email
about DCD’s bloodline whiskey release,
i bought my ticket without a second thought.

no amount of coaxing could get my friends to come with,
so i flew solo to eastern market
rolling up to 2462 riopelle
a little more than
fashionably late,
blasting amr diab
and circling twice for a parking spot.

i’ll spare you the details of the night in favor of the highlights:

the energy was palpable – just the right mix of smiles and buzz, allowing the chet baker and billie holiday to bleed into the evening without being oppressive.

the service was impeccable – i was seated at the bar and the bartenders were friendly and, frankly, rather attractive. (evan, in particular, was kinnered several times by this shameless shutter fly)

the company was fated – a fellow solo diner was seated next to me and turned out to be none other than the detroit foodie. it was the perfect pairing; i love to dissect the food and drinks at these shindigs, and it was great to be seated by someone who could (and would) happily keep up.
the morai were clearly looking out.

the food was on point – especially considering it was prepared (semi-legally?) in an alleyway in eastern market. it was three courses of food i typically would never have ordered, the unexpectedness of my enjoyment only multiplying its effect. chefs jesse knot and brad greenhill seriously delivered. (that brisket, bitch!)

the drinks were flawless, dahling – sugar house who? DCD has all the ambience and none of the pretension, the antique bar lending a subtle authenticity other “speakeasies” only wish they could buy. more importantly, the drinks were perfectly balanced* and will knock you down without you realizing it (though that blackthorn is not fucking around!) the stars were the detroit sidecar and the strawberry punch. seriously. who would ever have thought that whiskey and strawberry would go together? i just want to lay in a hammock with a growler of that shit, slowly pickling.

my life is such that these little outings of mine carry great importance to me. so it was lovely to not be disappointed and to leave happier than when i arrived (so much so i returned on saturday for the two faced blended bourbon bottle release & tasting). between the two nights, i dropped a dollar and left with ten bottles, two gifted to those who kept me company in my solitude (thanks TDF and haven!)

if this opening is any indication,
DCD is set to become
a detroit icon.

check it out, stat.

as you know,
i’m not blogging regularly these days and
am equally out of practice at editing down
the number of pics i take to weave into a post.
you’ll just have to settle for a disjointed photoessay.

later bitches!

the hot bartender aka evan
punch - strawberry, whiskey
blistered corn, grilled leek, green chili, eggplant, basil
detroit sidecar
bar left
roasted carrot, pistachio, lime, yoghurt
blackthorn
smoked brisket, pickled watermelon rind, celery root slaw, cheddar, grilled toast,
melts in your mouth, not in your hand
DPP_2320
michael forsyth, jesse knot, & ?
DPP_2324
DPP_2326
DPP_2363
DPP_2366
DPP_2293

*my only critique would be that they need bigger ice. my drinks got a tad too watery too fast. though i had a total of five in about three hours, so part of it was my inability to keep up.

gifty

June 4, 2014

the other day,
i got a package.
and you know how much
i love an unexpected package.

there wasn’t a note or anything,
so i had to do a little digging to
find out it was from my old
shop sibling, anna, who,
as you can see,
hasn’t updated he blog
since the arrival of her second son.

there is absolutely nothing better than an unforeseen gift;
may it be a sign of many many things to come!

DPP_2063pattern: ishbel yarn: socks that rock in the pining 4 ewe colorway

so thanks, anna.
i miss you, bitch!

tomorrow, how about a fo, eh?
it’s been a while, after all.

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