Bitches Get Stitches

nips with steven: a rhinebeck photo essay
i got links for most on my flickr. comment if i missed you!

today is rhinebeck.
say hi if you like.
but please don’t sneak up on me
or come running at me yelling
because last year,
this chick snuck up on me
and i inhaled a piece of me chicken sandwich.

it was not pretty.

if you want to be in ‘nips with steven‘ this year,
all you have to do is ask.
i’ve got the bottle.

as i’m sure you all know,
going to rhinebeck is important to me.
there are other sacred knitter destinations
such as webs, soar, maryland, sock summit, madrona, etc.
being in the blue moon barn is an especially religious experience,
but maybe that’s just me?

still,
rhinebeck,
as we know,
is the holiest of holies.

for me, it is a true pilgrimage.
you may notice it’s wednesday night
and i’m already getting ready to go.
for i leave on the morrow for pittsburgh
dropping off mr. mo at the old homestead on the way.
i will be picked up by andrea
(a.k.a. the best yarn rep/fiber festival buddy ever)
early friday morning and we’ll head for new york.
there, we will meet up our 10 other housemates.

oh?
did i not mention i’m not staying at a motel this year?
no?
well i’m not.
twelve of us have rented an big old victorian house for the weekend.
i’m finally one of the cool kids.
the best part?
i get my own room
because, as yarny old kim says,
i’m “the lone swingin’ dick” in the group.

yay penis!

then, it’s rhinebeck proper,
which i defy you to put into words.

but i’m getting ahead of myself.

first i must:

1 – wash every piece of clothing i own so i can pack anything i could possibly ever wear because who knows what may happen at rhinebeck.

2 – pack everything even though i suck at packing and all my clothes end up smushed and wrinkly even though i packed them nicely and used those strap things to hold them down.

3 – put aerobed by the door since my getting the bedroom to myself is contingent on my bringing an aerobed for someone else and i will forget it unless i block my exit with it.

4 – find and fill my knitting bag. i haven’t knit in 8 weeks. i don’t even know if i remember how. i hope i can fake it in a pinch.
(it’s the one with the hook, right?)

5 – dust of the old spinning wheel because you simply cannot go to an old victorian house with the cool kids for rhinebeck and show up without your spinning wheel unless you want to be mocked to the point of tears. i hope to spin until i do myself a mischief!

6 – catalogue all of my work that i need to bring with me because i am not delusional enough to think that just because it’s rhinebeck i don’t have a million things due as soon as i come back.

7 – gather all of mo’s things he will need to survive at the home of my youth. he now has another dog to compete for the attention of his grandparents. he isn’t pleased.

8 – make certain i have every possible electronic device and charger i own with me so i can document and blog every single possible thing ever since this may be the only real content i have until christmas time. this includes my vintage european mobile. you never know. i could go to rhinebeck and realize i need to be in france. or denmark.

9 – unearth a fucking tiny darning needle because i have to give misa her bohus hat and i never wove in its bajillion laceweight ends.

10 – locate the bohus hat.

11 – rewash this load of laundry as i realize i never put detergent in and refuse to be that skanky even if i do have a y chromosome and it’s probably fine and no one would notice.

i think that’s everything.

right?

p.s. i’ll be doing two photo projects while i’m there, including ‘nips with steven’. if you’re going and you’d like to be a part of either of them, stay tuned for tomorrow’s post.

p.p.s. here’s an old video to make those of you not going jealous.

2:04. i’m laughing at you, bitches!

because this week’s workload is so intense
that i find myself in moments of catatonia
i’ve decided to evade responsibilities through
excessive knitting and, now,
a blog post.

why read the rest of the hundred and fifty odd pages i need to finish in the next three hours when i could spend the next 30 with you all?

let’s take a trip back in time
to a mere ten days ago,
a time of sheep
and wool.

rhinebeck 2011.

rather than try to give you a sense of what rhinebeck “is”
a task to great for this humble writer.
instead i give you random moments,
the idiosyncrasies of
my rhinebeck.

outside the melee that is the the briar rose tenti ran into david of southern cross fibre with his fiber soul twin, helloyarna few things need to be said about this encounter.

1. david is one of my spinning inspirations, so i felt a little geeky (though apparently others are worse, thankfully)
2. helloyarn was one of my main knitting inspirations when i first began knitting, and remains one of my top 5 “people who’s lives seem so cool on the internet that i wish mine was like theirs”. i’ve moved past the nerdy “she knows my name” phase and felt glad just running into her.
3. though! when i first met her last year, i was not very composed and perhaps too excited. i’m using that as my excuse (that and the campfire lighting) for why i’d forgotten that david and i had been introduced (by adrian i assume) at last year’s rhinebeck ravelry party
4. david reminded me of this fact after my “it’s great to finally meet you!” >minor humiliation<
5. he spun and knit that sweater in record time. i hate him.
6. he’s very handsome in person.

i also ran into amy aka boogie aka spunky eclectic (bitch has a lotta aliases. gotta wonder why) outside the jennie the potter booth free-for-all (adjacent to the briar rose melee). it was odd because i didn’t see her at first, but rather saw beth smith‘s name on a piece of paper in a clear plastic bag she was holding. when i took a second look, i glanced up and there she was. i have no photo, but i got a hug. she’s shorter than i imagined.

the line for the sanguine gryphon was ricockulous. i have to say, knitters are pretty honest. that’s the line to pay. i’m sure people could have just walked off with yarn, but instead waited forever to give them their money. my friend misa was in line for about 2 hours. granted she was getting a sweater-lot of yarn on sale but jesus!

frankly, though, she deserves it.
the rhinebeck sweater she knit and designed was too good. it deserved punishment. (if you want more reasons to hate her, look here and here)

i spotted a certain bookfor which i hold strong opinions.
(faithful readers should be able to identify it)

i found out later that it’s author was here to sign copies of it! i had this great fantasy of buying them all, making the author sign them all, then promptly taking them out to a bin and lighting them all on fire.

i resisted.

i satisfied myself by making a catty comment about said author’s attire. i mean really, if you’re going to meet the public, you could put a little effort into your outfit. and for god sakes this is rhinebeck and you wrote a book about knitting. you couldn’t find one handknit to wear?! tacky as your book.

i did however wait in a long line to get stephanie’s new book, and have her sign it. the best part was the hug she demanded of me before i said a word. it’s really nice when a person you genuinely respect doesn’t think you’re a crazy internet stalker because you show up to a lot of the same places and ask her to sign things, but rather, thinks it makes you a nice person. obviously, the yarn harlot is the most famous knitter in the world and has therefore affected a lot of us. but i remember when i first got into knitting, reading her blog made it seem really cool and interesting. it made me want to get better at it. i don’t have a grandma who taught me, or some great knitting tradition in my family. i owe getting into knitting to her (or at least her persona), and i’m glad every time i see her.

but enough with the sappy shit.

at the ravelry meetup, i gave tammy my hatbecause she asked for it.
i’m a firm believer in asking for what you want.

then there is this.
this has got to be the scariest mannequin head everi found it to be extremely off-putting.
what could be so hilarious?

the gem of the rhinebeck (in terms of vendors) had to be into the whirled. everyone i know bought something from here, and with good reason.while i cannot remember her name, and my photo does no justice to her or her wares, i encourage you to go buy all of her things, now. because believe you me, soon, you won’t be able to get you hands on her stuff!

on saturday, i tried the wild coyote sauces spiciest concotion, “buried alive.” it’s made with the “ghost chili”, supposedly the world’s hottest. being a foodie, i couldn’t pass up the chance to try it. plus the owner challenged my masculinity which, in any other case, wouldn’t have mattered. somehow, it mattered this time.

needless to say, it was spicy. a yoghurt smoothie saved my life and luckily, it was only a sample, not enough to give me, what andrea calls, “burny butt”.

the next day, my fiber festival partner in crime, decided she too had to meet the “ghost chili”. i documented it. andrea made the festival for me.
there is no better fiber festival buddy than she.

the last thing i need to tell you about is the ravioli.
the lamb ravioli with wilted garlic spinach.
i ate so much i almost got sick.
totally worth it.

as expected it was totally worth being completely behind in all of my work, a behindness that continues as i write this. catching up may never be attainable, but i wouldn’t change rhinebeck for a 4.0 on my next paper. hopefully i won’t have to!

see you next year, bitches!