jesus, be a raindrop

July 21, 2013

i want to be this bitch’s friend
so. badly.

hunger games

July 8, 2013

i promise this is not turning into a korean cooking blog,
but my last minute decision to make this dinner paid off so well
that i took a picture.
in my bathroom.
because it has the best lighting.

so if you’re not interested in hearing me nerd out on korean food,
come back tomorrow when i’ll have a sock to show you.

everyone else, lookie here.
IMG_9061even after fidgeting with it in iphoto (something i never do!) i cant get the color quite right, (which is why i always photograph my knitting in diffused natural light)

starting on the left working clockwise:
1. spicy stir-fried pork – dwaejigogibokkeum – 돼지불고기볶음
notes: i accidentally used pork belly so thinly sliced it was like bacon, just unsalted; thank you korean grocer for stocking this product that will now be a permanent fixture in my fridge. i also only had white sugar and used less hot pepper flakes because my green chili was so big.
(that’s what she said)

2. kimchi fried rice – kimchi bokkeumbap – 김치볶음밥
notes: i used brown rice because that’s what i had. i thought i was using up the last of my super fermented kim chi (3+ months) but i found one final jar in the back of my fridge, a happy thing since i need to make this again. i skipped the sea weed and sesame seeds because i didn’t have it and i forgot, respectively.

3. maangchi’s easy kim chi – mak kim chi – 막김치
notes: this is my go-to kim chi recipe, and i always make changes. i never add squid since a) i don’t have access to fresh squid to pickle and b) i’m not yet ready to move past my western food brain to eat pickled squid. i always skip the leak and sub in shallot, mostly because i don’t want to clean the leek. frequently, i skip the carrot. the important thing is the proportion of the kim chi paste itself which is . . . it’s just a perfect flavor. best ghetto winter lunch is warmed up chicken stock from a box and a big ol’ scoop of kim chi, but i’ll eat it with pizza or straight up from the jar, over the kitchen sink, shirtless, the epitome of ‘bachelor’.

4. cubed radish kimchi – kkakdugi – 깍두기
notes: i think i may love kkakdugi even more than i love kim chi. but it all depends on the radish. this time, i got a great quality korean radish, but in my experience, it’s easier to get good quality daikon. they’re the root vegetable equivalent of kissing cousins anyway, and as far as i can tell, there’s no difference in flavor. the major difference with this batch is that, instead of following the recipe, i just used left over kim chi paste from my last batch. it turned out amazingly nonetheless. i’ve never tried it with the radishes i grew up hating (the little red ones the fraggles were always eating), but maybe it’s worth a try?

for any of you not familiar with korean food,
or for any of you who are not adventurous eaters,
the easiest/safest thing to make here is the pork.
the flavors are totally addictive (sweet/salty/spicy)
and the spice level is easily moderated for those with a delicate palate. (i would skip the pepper flakes and/or the green chili pepper, but you absolutely cannot skip the hot pepper paste a.k.a. gochujang a.k.a.
a.k.a. crack that needs to go on everything)

does anyone else out there like korean food?

breakfast in bed

July 7, 2013

20130707-074112.jpgnot feeling so hot after last night.
super salty spicy garlicky pickley goodness
with some ristretto roasters beaumont blend (i think) =
hitting the mothafuckin spot this a.m.

good day

July 1, 2013

my first ever stand-alone class went so well. so so well.
better than i have even hoped it could!
i was a good teacher.
they were good students.
doing good work on day one is really rare.
and while i was literally beset with the feeling
that i was going to vomit and take a huge dump in my pants,
i didn’t.

i cannot emphasize enough what a boon that class was.

just now,
i met a deadline that
i was very worried i wouldn’t make.
but i shat that mother fucker OUT, bitches!

burnt offering

June 30, 2013

i have
pretty bad anxiety.

for the most part,
it’s not too big a deal.
i’m 28 years old now (ugh),
so i’ve had a lot of practice dealing with it

the only thing i need
is to withdraw from the world.
though, that’s become less effective since i became a phd student
as i have work to do literally all of the time,
and getting down with my inner hermit
mostly just makes me feel guilty.

another thing that makes me feel better
is doing something small but special,
bring a little beauty into my life,
ya know?

fresh flowers
the expensive ice cream
going to the movies

things i used to take for granted when someone else was paying.
or things from previous iterations of my life that i miss.
like the iced coffee veronica used to make
when we were roomies in pittsburgh.

which is what i decided to make.
tina bought me some wicked good coffee during my visit,
i can make simple syrup, and cream is easily acquired at any hour.
this would be the perfect way to start my day tomorrow
when i have a dreaded deadline
and my first stand-alone.

as i lay in bed
my unmentionables tumbling away in the wash,
(going commando is not an option for the first day of class)
i opened my windows to let in the summer air
and willed the chemicals in my brain
to level the fuck. out.

then i got this little whiff of something,
something that smelled kinda like cotton candy.
i thought that a bit odd but kept watching netflix.
a few minutes later, a whiff of toasted marshmallow.
that’s what it was! a neighbor must have been toasting marshmallows!

the smell of “toasting”
quickly turned to “burning”
and in that moment i remembered
the simple syrup i put on the stove
maybe fifteen to twenty minutes earlier.

this is the result.
20130630-231925.jpgthat’s right.
i put something on the stove,
went to my room, and immediately forgot about it.

this is why i can’t have nice things.
and why i’ll be going to starbucks in the morning.




May 2, 2013

in keeping with things related to dogs that make me happy . . .

i firmly believe that all my happiness originates from the my mailbox.
recently, i’ve received a few things in the mail that have made me happy, but today’s arrival takes the proverbial cake.
IMG_8880this postcard art was made by jen cooney.
jen is, what i would call, a bar friend,
one of those people you see at the bar
and run into each other at all the same events
because you travel in the same, small, queer circle of people
though, for whatever reason, you’ve never really hung out
and your interactions have been largely limited to complimenting one another on the fabulosity of our outfits. believe you me,
you have not lived until you have seen jen cooney
in space face.

she put up a notice on facebook that she was doing mail art
and if anyone wanted one, to just send her their address.
i was a little reticent since, as i’ve said,
we weren’t very close back in the burgh
and i’ve been gone now for two years now.
but my love of mail prevailed and i sent my address.

best. decision. ever.

i tell you what,
this postcard makes me miss the queer community in pittsburgh.
whereas many people loathe the bubble-like insularity of such a small city, i miss those moments in the streets (or whole foods) of chance encounter throughout the city, that nod of acknowledgment that, yes,
we were both shaking a tail feather last night in the same place
and i may have been a hot mess but at least i looked fabulous.

there’s nothing like that here.

somehow, this image perfectly captures the essence of my life
and provided exactly the smile i needed to finish out finals week.

thanks jen!

up late

April 23, 2013

can’t sleep.
here’s a video.

love her.

paris 2013

April 13, 2013

the worst part about traveling, is coming home,
not just because you must return to your real life,
but because everyone feels entitled to a detailed account.

it begins with their eyes lighting up,
their voice switching into a higher register
and, on the verge of orgasm, they ask,
“how was paris?”

i smile,
of course,
and have my canned response at the ready.
but, on the inside, it’s more. . .
bw fuck off

comme ça.

i’m not sure why it annoys me, really.
part of it is that it seems so phony, that
people are not interested in what my time was like
as much as they are trying to live vicariously through my experience.
which points to, what is likely, the bigger reason it annoys me;
maybe i just don’t want to share my exeperience!
maybe i just want to keep it to myself and treasure it!
why are you entitled to information about my life
just because you asked?

this response has led to many a confrontation between my mother and i since she feels it’s basic courtesy to express curiosity in the lives of the people you care about, whereas i feel if i wanted to share something, i would bring it up. i fully recognize that my response to people’s inquires is completely not normal though so is most of how i live my life.
why should this be any different?

i feel some obligation to blog about paris,
though i completely forgot to go to the one yarn store i wanted to see
so there’s no knitting content.
and no, i won’t tell you why i forgot,
though i promise, it was well worth it!

and so, je vous donne:

paris 2013 – a photo essay

1. first propeller plane ride – yyz to cdg
2. view from mon appartement
3. first moments in paris or a few of my favorite things
4. sparklers in our dessert? why not?!
5. pg ‘guys with iphones’ shot
6. friends. . .
7. and colleagues
8. grandma’s sunglasses in paris
9. quasimodo the duck
10. best representation of marriage i’ve ever seen
11. notre dame’s fine behind
12. late-night snack
13. chocolate cat
14. blasphemy
15. best lunch with fellow only, place de la contrascarpe
16. tango in paris
17. & 18. square jehan-rictus, montmartre
19. aimer c’est du désordre . . . alors aimons!
20. arlette denis, la chanteuse de montmartre
21. first timer
22. she was playing yann tiersen
23. view from la basilique du sacré coeur de montmartre
24. view of la basilique du sacré coeur de montmartre
25. mo’s distant cousin
26. only child tourists
27. historic immeuble (supposedly) the first built specifically for artists
28. fetus street art
29. parisian parenting outside saint-sulpice
30. cute boy, cute shoes
31. miyazakiesque
32. piano man à côté de la fontaine saint-michel
33. cole haan, swollen feet in the rue de l’hirondelle
34. view from pont royal
35. accidentally got off at wrong métro top to this view
36. quickly took a tourist shot before the light show ended
37. then we froze our asses off on the tower itself
38. first timer
39. last morning
40. ready to go
41. ma porte


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