rhinebeck 2013: countdown

September 22, 2013

because my (likely vain) pursuit of becoming an “academic”
requires a gradually increasing inhuman amount of work
such that anything that involves fiber
has been all but completely eliminated from my life
my annual trip to rhinebeck is especially important to me this year.

these are the things i love about rhinebeck:

1. the homeric two-day road trip with my fiber buddy andrea; epic driver, designer, yarn hocker, networker, and the brains (and brawn) behind yarn superhero llc. we laugh, swear, gossip, judge, eat, harmonize to joni mitchell for hours, and peep the shit out of some leaves. this drive is the initial decompression required for me to (try to) forget my real life and put me in the rhinebeck state of mind.

2. i stay at the cool kids house. while i’m not famous, and there are definitely houses with more famous yarny people in them, our rhinebeck house is by far where the real cool kids stay. fuck the ravelry peeps and their damn baby. fuck whatever cabin in the woods the yarn harlot or clara parks might be staying in. we stay here. while most of the details are completely confidential, let me just say that there’s some extraordinary inappropriateness that goes down at our house.
you wish you were invited.
but you’re not.

3. this year, my old friend, coworker, and yarn-store sibling, anna, will finally be coming to rhinebeck. she will be staying at the cool kids house. (the details aren’t clear, but i think there was a horrible death in the group that led to an opening. i don’t ask question)

4. my lack of vagina combined with intense undiagnosed sleep apnea means i get my own room. as an only child, this makes my soul rejoice.

5. the food. people have strong opinions about the food at rhinebeck. after a few years, this is what i think. the artichokes are not worth the line. the lamb ravioli with a side of garlic spinach is. i skip the shitty breakfast sandwiches and load up on apple donuts and cider. bring your own booze.

6. the ghost chili challenge. this will mark the third year of andrea’s and my masochistic indulgence at the hot sauce counter, thus making it into a tradition. the ghost chili is the world’s hottest pepper (last year, we had some fellow tasters, one of whom vomited after) but we just can’t seem to resist becoming high school boys for a few minutes to relish the feeling of doing something stupid for its own sake. this year, if memory serves, there’s a rumor that the hot sauce man has acquired the new, even hotter scorpion chili whose spiciness supposedly makes the ghost chili look like a lovely glass of milk fresh from the cow’s teet.
pray for us.

7. judging famous knitters based on their outfits.
(no elaboration necessary).

there are other things,
things i can’t put into words,
things i can’t even think of at 2:34 in the morning.

but the my favorite thing about rhinebeck
is “nips with steven: a rhinebeck photo essay”.
(check out year 1 here and year 2 here, if you need a reminder)

my goal is to outdo the previous year.
so if you’re going to rhinebeck,
or know someone who is,
look for me
and be a part of rhinebeck herstory.

it’s for art.

in other news,
the clockwork is on the move.
it was last seen with some new hampshire knitteratti:
photoright to left: thea colman (babycocktails), dawn catanzaro, diana (bestitched), julia farwell-clay. unseen & across the table were cecily glowik macdonald, bristol ivy, ellen mason (odacier), & erin m.
(who is rather immune to internet stalking so no link for her!)
photo courtesy of misa

12 Responses to “rhinebeck 2013: countdown”

  1. Anna Says:

    I’m thrilled that someone died so I could come. Seriously.

  2. andrea Says:

    I’m not sure if someone really died. I hope not. I’m also embarrassed to say I almost forgot about the chili challenge. I hope someone pukes again this year. And all you Bitches Get Stitches fans who spin yarn, don’t forget about Spinzilla. You can sign up for a team at http://www.spinzilla.org by midnight tomorrow. It’s a fundraiser, a competition, chance to build your spinning skills, and there are a crap load of exciting prizes.

  3. Stephanie Says:

    Ahhhhhh!! You’re right. I do wish I was involved. It sounds like an amazing and much needed weekend.

    I’m glad you have a break to look forward to!

  4. Susie Says:

    Can you be in Nips more than once? I’d like a do over from last year please! I will be looking for you!

  5. misa Says:

    And no that isn’t an acronym but an expression of deep pain.

  6. lollyknits Says:

    I am so hoping that I run into you!!


  7. Great post. Not surprised that we agree on the artichokes, my pickle brother. Looking forward to the kimchi! xo

  8. Anonymous, too Says:

    Wish I were going to share in the wooly fun. I’d definitely be looking to do a Nip with Steven. . .although I’d let you deal with the peppers yourself — too many jalapenos and I’m burping them for days! (Doesn’t Billy Joel do a song called “Rhinebeck State of Mind”?)

    I take it Mo will be spoiled rotten by your folks while you’re gone. Lucky pup!

    Finally, I’m jealous of the clockwork. It got to go to Turkey, then to a scenic New England port that looks like it could have appeared in “Murder, She Wrote.” If that scarf could earn frequent-flyer miles, I’d think you’d be close to a trip to Hawaii by now.

  9. purplecoati Says:

    how did i miss nips year 2? i might be going up on a sunday this year (because the crowds are horrendous) with a busload or two from my current, fabulous knitting group. will you be there sunday? if so we better say hi.

  10. Lizz Says:

    Yes! I will be in Nips with Steven this year…. I’m determined.

  11. Christopher Says:

    See ya in Rhinebeck Bitches!


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