burnt offering

June 30, 2013

so
i have
pretty bad anxiety.

for the most part,
it’s not too big a deal.
i’m 28 years old now (ugh),
so i’ve had a lot of practice dealing with it

sometimes,
the only thing i need
is to withdraw from the world.
though, that’s become less effective since i became a phd student
as i have work to do literally all of the time,
and getting down with my inner hermit
mostly just makes me feel guilty.

another thing that makes me feel better
is doing something small but special,
bring a little beauty into my life,
ya know?

fresh flowers
the expensive ice cream
going to the movies

things i used to take for granted when someone else was paying.
or things from previous iterations of my life that i miss.
like the iced coffee veronica used to make
when we were roomies in pittsburgh.

which is what i decided to make.
tina bought me some wicked good coffee during my visit,
i can make simple syrup, and cream is easily acquired at any hour.
this would be the perfect way to start my day tomorrow
when i have a dreaded deadline
and my first stand-alone.

as i lay in bed
my unmentionables tumbling away in the wash,
(going commando is not an option for the first day of class)
i opened my windows to let in the summer air
and willed the chemicals in my brain
to level the fuck. out.

then i got this little whiff of something,
something that smelled kinda like cotton candy.
i thought that a bit odd but kept watching netflix.
a few minutes later, a whiff of toasted marshmallow.
that’s what it was! a neighbor must have been toasting marshmallows!

the smell of “toasting”
quickly turned to “burning”
and in that moment i remembered
the simple syrup i put on the stove
maybe fifteen to twenty minutes earlier.

this is the result.
20130630-231925.jpgthat’s right.
i put something on the stove,
went to my room, and immediately forgot about it.

this is why i can’t have nice things.
and why i’ll be going to starbucks in the morning.

clockwork and the harlot’nuff said.

tomorrow i recount my epic adventures with the tina in portland

dtw to phx

June 20, 2013

20130620-171703.jpg

colorado

June 15, 2013

the clockwork is still in colorado (i think)
and sally of rivendale farms (and of the comments)
has been showing it a marvelous time in the centennial state.

it attended the estes park wool market with sally and her pal jill

where it may have broken a rule or two.
???????????????????????????????
(jill seems like my kind of people)

sally and jill found this yarn-bombed tree in lyons, co.
they stopped to “let the clockwork have a visit with its cousins”
???????????????????????????????
sally, i can pretty much guarantee that there’s no relation between my clockwork and what looks like that tree’s thneed.

then, it was off to see jan of cat crap hill (also of the comments)
where it became acquainted with chickens
and jan’s broadway tendencies.
???????????????????????????????
1. the chicken!
2. how fabulous is her name?
3. at first i thought that alpaca was jan’s ponytail.

sally’s husband jim got into the act.
???????????????????????????????
the chickens like him, apparently.

the clockwork was apparently “over served”,
which is, i hear, a common occurrence on cat crap hill.
???????????????????????????????
and sally found it passed out the next day amongst its shame.

and finally, it met my namesake!
???????????????????????????????
steven ambrose jr. looks far better in it than i ever did.

thanks sally.
you did colorado proud!
what’s next, i wonder?

*photo and copy credit go to sally ball, without whom this post would not be possible.

so i got this email

June 6, 2013

that i figured i’d share:

Hi Steven,

Hope all is well!

Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force is in the midst of our spring fundraising/advocacy campaign. PATF is gathering advocates who can donate $30 or more in order to have their name put on a fabric square which will be sewn together to create the PATF patchwork. This patchwork will be publically displayed on World AIDS day to commemorate those we’ve lost and celebrate those we can help save by preventing the spread of the disease.

I’m hoping you can help us by reaching out to contacts in your network that may be able to help us sew the squares together. I’ve included more information about this effort below.

If you have any ideas about how we can grow this patchwork or would like to be involved in some way, please give me a call or shoot me an email.

Jen

now, i’m a pretty shitty sewer
and i’m not in pittsburgh anymore
so any of you pittsburgh bitches who are good at quilting
and would like to help the pittsburgh aids task force sew up their squares, shoot an email to jen JFicarriATpatfDOTorg.

as for the rest of us,
i think we should donate, no?
i’m pretty fucking broke right now,
but i’ll eat some rice for a few days
and make a donation.

want the details? of course you do. because you’re a good person.
144
Join Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force in sewing our community together to show that we are still here and still fighting HIV. Be an advocate for our mission of supporting and empowering all individuals living with HIV/AIDS and preventing the spread of infection.

Support PATF by sponsoring a fabric square printed with your name, the names of loved ones, or HIV/AIDS statistics. Names from all across the community will be stitched together to form the PATF Patchwork to debut on World AIDS Day, December 2013.

The PATF Patchwork will be publically displayed as a symbol of our community united in the fight against HIV/AIDS.

Choose the sponsorship level that works for you
$30 one name (first and last)
$50 two names
$125 “In memory of” or “In honor of” an individual
$250 sponsors four squares of HIV/AIDS statistics 
and includes your name

click here to donate!

do please leave a comment if you make a donation so i know!
i’m not saying you’re a bad person if you don’t donate but . . . .

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