i got a package today.
yes another one.
(i’ve considered changing the blog to ‘bitches get packages’)

but this one didn’t arrive at my doorstep, oh no.
i had to track this bitch down.
stupid post office put that little brown sheet in my mailbox
the one that tells you you have to pick it up, you know?
but it was tucked against the front
so i didn’t see it for 2 days!

so i hauled my ass to ass nowhere lansing
where the post office was holding it hostage.
i handed over the brown paper
and my passport which elicited a
“what in the hell is this?” from the postal worker.
apparently she’d never seen a passport before.

then it took a manager to find my package,
because someone had checked the wrong box or something.

wanna know where it was?
right freakin’ next to the worker bee.

seriously.

if she had reached 3 feet to her right,
she would have touched it.

*sigh*

in any case,
i have it now.
the package that is.
wanna know what it was?
rockin’ sock club, bitches!

now, lest you think me an unfrugal grad student,
this membership is courtesy of an anonymous sugar mama/daddy.
that’s right. someone made a generous donation to the bitches get stitches happiness fund in the form of a rockin’ sock club gift card.
i’m one lucky son of a bitch.

while i actually think that rockin’ sock club is underpriced, especially if you compare it to what you get from other clubs. my guess is tina does it on purpose so more people can afford to be in the club.
she’s cool like that.

(seriously, have you checked out other yarn clubs? crazy pricey!)

still, it’s always been just out of my budget.
don’t get me wrong. i’ve dropped some dough on yarn in my time,
but generally, i’m a layaway guy when it comes to big yarn purchases.
(excluding, of course, fiber festivals or travel. that’s what debt is for)
and because i’m not really a sock knitter,
i’ve never been able to justify sock club.
luckily, i don’t have to!

[insert mental .gif of me doing a salacious victory/booty dance]

it’s the little things.
i plan to treat myself today with a cup of tea and the dyer’s notes.
i think the blue mooners would want it that way.

ps what should i knit with this?

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