worst day of my life

September 4, 2011

i don’t know why i’m writing a blog post right now. i guess it’s because i don’t know what else to do. and perhaps also, i’m so sick and twisted that i need there to be a public record of today . . .

this morning mo let me know it was time to walk him, that i’d slept too long. in the fog of sleepiness, i grabbed my spare set of car keys (not my actual set of keys) and locked myself out of my apartment. with no phone, and no wallet (and unfortunately no underwear), i had no way of getting in touch with my landlord on a sunday to let me in. taking a deep breath i bundled up mo in the car and headed to my office on campus where i was sure an ancient computer and phone would be my salvation. of course as soon as i parked i realized it was sunday, and without my keys there was no way in.

i went back to my apartment in hopes that if i parked very close to it, i could get my car’s built in blue tooth to connect to my car and i could call someone. of course who i had in mind, i don’t know. it was a pipe dream anyway.

so i decided that, since i had on my sleeping clothes, i hadn’t showered, and hadn’t brushed my teeth, i’d head to my parents house.

an hour and a half later i arrived at my childhood hope. my parents are out of town for their anniversary (i won’t even get into what i had to do to get into their house without my keys) so i looked at this situation as a mini trip to the country until monday tuesday when i could get ahold of my landlord and get into my apartment. i did of course check my lease and their website to see if there was some phone number i could call in an “emergency”, but alas there is none.

how bad could it be? sure i have no wallet and no phone and internet from about 2001, but i could make do. i printed off some readings so i wouldn’t fall behind in my school work, and i could prepare my little spiel for my first day of teaching on thursday. i took some meat out to thaw for dinner, and mo and i took a nap.

this is where things get serious. this is where you all will think i’m crazy for writing a blog post. like i said, i don’t know what else to do.

i headed out back with some pork chops to grill, and mo hung out on and around the deck with me. somewhere while i was concentrating on the grilling outside, and the food inside, i stopped paying attention to mo.

with a sinking feeling, i thought, “where is he?”

and that’s the question of the hour; where is mo? he has run off. in the pitch black countryside, i have walked up and down country roads, up and down neighbors driveways hoping to find him, or find the person who has him. i’ve even gotten in the car to drive a ways in all directions to scan the road for his body. i didn’t find one which might be today’s only mercy.

somewhere from the depths of my being, my catholicism came out. i’ve been invoking saints and jesus, begging anyone with any power in the world to bring him back to me.

i’ve stopped crying long enough to make a flyer which i will spend all day tomorrow putting up all over town.

tonight, i’m sleeping on my deck in case mo decides to come home in the middle of the night.

i don’t know what to do. my whole family is gone. i’m on my own in this, and i’m ill-equipped to handle it.

i’m a 26 year old man holding my dogs harness weeping, that kind of crying you only do maybe three times in your whole life when you’re completely overwhelmed by sadness, and nothing can comfort you.

if you believe in something, god, the universe, whatever, please pray for my momo to come home to me.

i don’t know what i’ll do without him.

25 Responses to “worst day of my life”

  1. Yokoo Says:

    I’m praying for MOMO now!! I know he’ll be fine!! He’ll be back before morning!! Oh poor friend!!! I’m so soorry!

  2. Martha Says:

    *hug* I’ll keep the prayers going for you and Mo.

  3. Jenn Says:

    Oh, dear. Lots of prayers and hugs headed your way. I hope Mo comes back soon.

  4. Stephen Says:

    Oh, baby… Come homo, Mo! I’ll cross all eight legs of Janie and Deci and sat my own prayers for his speedy return.

  5. ciriliarose Says:

    Unitarian interspecies prayer session happening here! Much love to you and your Mo.

  6. Iz Says:

    I’m praying and crying and crossing all fingers for Mo’s safe and speedy return!!! Hugs to you right now!


  7. Oh, poor, poor Mo. And poor, poor you. Our 2 dogs and 3 cats are our babies (the kids are all pretty much grown), so I know how you feel. He will be fine. He loves you and will come home to his Daddy. Mark my words. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

  8. Audry Says:

    Oh my goodness. I’ll be keeping Mo in my prayers.
    I once lost my pup for 20 minutes and I’d never felt so frightened in my life. He had rushed out into downtown traffic, but luckily wasn’t hit by a car.

  9. David Says:

    Oh no! I hope you find him soon.

  10. tina Says:

    Joining the interspecies prayer session. Sending you lots of love, a virtual hug and serious come home to your man vibes to Mo. Hang in there.

  11. Susan Says:

    I’m so sorry, I know how it feels. I really hope you find him. I lost my cat a few years back and it took a month of putting up flyers and calling animal shelters but she did come home. I hope the same is true for your dog and that it will be soon.

  12. Kimberly Says:

    oh no!!!!!!!! Praying really hard for Mo to return xx

  13. Jenica Says:

    I’m hoping you will find your doggie, I’m so, so sorry for you. Keep up your spirits until he finds his way back. He will come back, you will find him.

  14. Sarah V. Says:

    I’m not normally a pray-er, but I’m praying that mo knows exactly where to go, and that’s back to you as soon as soon as soon as soon (not a typo. soon x4.) as possible. There is just nothing good about this day. And a lost family member is the worst worst sinking feeling. I’ve been locked out of my apartment (without phone/wallet/bra) and it was bad. But your day just sounds… bad news. Anyway, sorry for rambling, virtual hugs and good vibes your and mo’s way.

  15. Sarah Says:

    I’m sending all the good thoughts I possibly can and hoping that Mo is just out exploring for a bit before he comes back to you for snuggles and something to eat. Hugs!

  16. Nicole Says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your horrible day. I hope that Mo has already made his way back to you, but if not that he returns immediately. **hugs**

  17. Sally at Rivendale Farms Says:

    Come home, Mo!! Everything crossed on this end and sending monster good juju your way that Mo cruises home this morning with that look that says, “what were you worried about?” Hugs to you, wish they could be in person.

    Posting about it is a definitely a great thing, not a crazy thing – not only to to give you an outlet but to also get all those good thoughts coming your and Mo’s way. The universe is on your side and so are a whole lot of people and their own four-leggeds.

  18. Sally at Rivendale Farms Says:

    Forgot to add – look up your local shelters and check each of them repeatedly and ideally in person. There’s a large one down in Golden where animals that are found up here in the mountains are taken if Animal Control finds them. I’ve had more than one friend with a lost pet call there and be told there’s no dog/cat of that description, but when they drove down there – voila! There was their pet.

  19. Trisha R Says:

    Sending positive vibes are warm fuzzies for Mo’s safe return.

  20. meg Says:

    Oh NO! I am thinking lots of good thoughts that Mo shows up and wonders what all the fuss was about.

    Canvas the neighbors, contact the local shelters and vet offices too.

    I know if Zeby ran off I would be beside myself to the point of not-functioning. All my thoughts are with you!

  21. Adrienne Says:

    Oh no! Thinking good thoughts for you and Mo.

  22. A. Tipton Says:

    Long distant hugs. I don’t comment often, but I cried when I read your post today. Contact your local shelters (ours is on Facebook & has a ‘lost’ page) and vets and I hope he returns to you soon! <3xoxo.


  23. oh, honey! i’m so sorry you’re going through this. i just know he’s okay and coming back to you. i hope that you can figure out a way to stay there, door open, and find a kind neighbor to go post flyers. him being able to get in and find you when he’s gotten to the right house is as important as flyers getting posted, imo. and i agree with sally: contact every shelter and vet’s office in the area and see what you can find out. you can try finding a photo of him online and emailing that link to everyone you can think of around there, like an electronic flyer. if we were there, i’d be doing that for you, poor thing! i’m so sorry. big hugs and prayers he’ll be back before you even read this. xoxox


  24. Sweet Mo and Sweet Steven! Keeping you in my good thoughts and wishing for Mo’s very soon and safe return.

  25. Michelle B Says:

    OHH Steven, I am soo sorry! I understand how helpless and hopeless you feel…I just want you to know that I’m praying for you and Mo and his safe return. My pup Abby isvery sick-she has an immune disorder from a medicine she was on, and right now she is getting a blood transfusion to try to save her, so I completely understand how helpless and hearbroken you feel.


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