farewell pittsburgh

August 4, 2011

the movers are coming today,
and it’s all i can do to keep from collapsing.
leaving you, pittsburgh, . . . it feels like
. . .i’m dying in a way.

i feel like i do at funerals,
like my legs could buckle at any moment,
like my heart needs to be closer to the earth.

i’ve never been in love before and
it’s crazy that my first time would be you,
a city, the steel city.

you made me laugh constantly,
shared with me all your secrets,
tucked me in on so many nights
with a smooch and a smile.

you were nothing but good to me.
i can never repay all your kindnesses.

at the same time,
it wasn’t enough.
or not fast enough
for me to realize
this is it!
you were the one.

it’s my fault
we didn’t work out.
i should’ve done more
to maintain your affections.
by the time i knew it was you
i wanted, you’d stiffened,
and i was being pulled away.

i could’ve done more to be with you, but i didn’t.
i was disloyal
and untrue.

leaving is the only choice i have left.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

i’ve never been in love before
so i didn’t recognize the signs.
you and yours snuck up on me,
and my only wish is that i could stay
somehow.

i know we’ll always be friends,
that i’ll see you now and then,
that this isn’t a forever goodbye.
but i’ll never have you like i did before.
we’ll never be as close as we once were.
nothing has ever hurt me more than that.

i love you, buddy.

i’ll miss you.

you were my home.

16 Responses to “farewell pittsburgh”

  1. kelley Says:

    I’ve seen you around NS & read your blog for a while now – but I’ve always been too shy to say hey – just wanted to let you know PGH will miss you too and we were lucky to have you call this place home. Good luck & safe travels.

  2. Hope Says:

    What an eloquent goodbye.
    Moving is tough but it’s and adventure.
    Onward!

  3. Jenn Says:

    You made me cry again. Damn it.

  4. Kelli Says:

    Hugs

  5. knitnat Says:

    I’m with Jenn…teared up. Sobbing, actually. Nancy and I will be making a trek to Michigan, for no other reason than to hunt your hot-pants clothed ass down, bitch!

  6. kris Says:

    A new adventure awaits, who knows what lies behind the next turn, more fame and fortune, a new love, . You’ll always cherish Pittsburgh. On ward and upward!! Tally ho

  7. Sally at Rivendale Farms Says:

    A wonderful tribute and farewell, I hope your adventures in Michigan are even better! Good luck on the move.

  8. Cinnamon Says:

    A heartfelt farewell if I ever read one. Good luck with the move.

  9. Adrienne Says:

    Pittsburgh will always be the city I’d move back to if given even the smallest excuse.

  10. lisabee Says:

    what jenn said. i miss you already :(

  11. Anonymous, too Says:

    Good luck with the move, best wishes in your new digs — and I hope you got everything out of the refrigerator before you had the power turned off at the old place!

  12. groovydoom Says:

    Pittsburgh misses you already. Be well and we’re always here.


  13. Thank you, Steven. Your readers look forward to the next adventure.

  14. Sarah Says:

    Sniff. Miss you already! Hope you’ll be back for a visit soon (my guest room is always open for you!) and I’ll let you know the next time I’m in MI.

  15. CarolP Says:

    It’s always hard to leave something or someone you love.
    Look at it as a fresh start to a new journey. Your friends and
    the places you love will always be with you. New friends and
    experiences await you. Looking forward to reading about your
    new experiences and to seeing the new knits that you are so
    great at creating!

  16. Katie Bird Says:

    Steven,

    I loved your goodbye letter to the burgh and I enjoyed your slideshow (especially that we were in it!) and it made me think of what my own slideshow will look like when I eventually leave pittsburgh. Best of luck creating new memories in your new home. -Katie


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