the summit wrap up

August 2, 2011

my tonsils are currently doing their best to slowly choke me to death.
but before my airway closes off completely,
let me tell you about the summit.

rather than try to describe it all,
a futile effort to be sure,
here are the highlights:

i was asked to sign my first autograph.

carol a.k.a. knitnpurlgirl

which literally floored me.

but not nearly as much as seeing who signed their name next to mine.
that may be the only time i’ll ever see my name next to hers.

i also kinneared the yarn harlot.
for no other reason than it tickled my fancy in the moment.

later on,
it was time to hop,
sock style.

i put on my hotpants,
walked the streets of chinatown,
and road a train to the convention center.
(pretty brave, even for portland, no?)

once there,
a shot of shitty whiskey in my belly
and a coors light in my hand,
tina asked me to dance
let me tell you,
tina newton can dance circles around you.
it was either youth or pride that helped me keep up.

soon after, natalie also enticed me to dance.
she was smokin’ hot on that dance floor,
and more than a little intimidating.
this bitch can work it for sure.
while i don’t have photographic evidence,
there were several witnesseses who can back me up.

i feel like i held my own, in terms of dancing,
(but she clearly outdid me on the sexy)

whereas often hotpants are the most . . . memorable pieces of knitwear at a given event, i don’t think they held a candle to some of the other knitters’ outfits:
(check out that wicked photobomb!)

jc briar had this whole hula hooping nun look going on.

this lady actually knit this bat sleeve sweater in the 80’s!

and stephanie dug out her pogues shirt from the depths her basement.

but perhaps most interesting for a gossip like me,
(other than clara parkes’ epic side ponytail and stephen h’s jheri curl)
is the fact that they were attached at the hip for the whole night.
i am convinced something is going on between them,
something thorn birds-esque.

with six beers and a whiskey in me
i asked the boy to dance.
note that my hands never strayed lower than appropriate
and there was plenty of room left for jesus
so as not to upset any husbands.
or secret lovers.

*cough* *claraparkes* *cough*

the sock hop may have been my favorite part of the summit.
it was a blassst.

luckily, i was not hung over the next day
and did my level best to learn twined knitting from nancy bush.
i hope to grow up to be just like her someday
while somehow remaining completely inappropriate.

after taking my weight in advil and tylenol,
(putting the final nail in my liver’s coffin)
i documented the sock summit flash mob.
(you can see a great video of it youtube)

while i was doing my part for the sake of history,
i got kinneared by cheryl in the process.
i totally caught her though,
and demanded she send me the pic.

not too shabby for someone who felt like crouching tiger, hidden dragon was being filmed in his throat.

the next day,
the final day,
i was feeling really sick.

i got up enough energy to see sheep getting naked.
i will always get out of bed for nudity.any kind of nudity.

the sheep were shorn,
their fleeces skirted,

and ms. clara parkes herself spun the samples
for the fleece to foot contestants.
(she’s got her nimble fingers in all sorts of pies)

then i had to leave.
i have no idea if anyone completed the challenge,
or which team won for their charity.

for me it was all naps and recovery,
spending my last 24 hours with my irish sistah.

now that i have some down time to process it all,
i have to admit my mind is actually kind of blown.
i learned so much, and realized just how much i don’t know.
in terms of knitting, i barely have clue compared to some.
but if that wasn’t enough to shoot my mind into space,
the sheer number of people was a bit overwhelming,
especially for someone as hermit-like as i am.
i felt like my a.d.d. was running rampant,
and my eyes didn’t know where to settle.

there were so. many. knitters.

which i guess is silly to say out loud. i mean, of course there were lots of people there. it’s knitting conference. and there must be just as many people wandering around maryland sheep and wool or rhinebeck. there was just something about all of them being indoors that i found to be . . . intimidating.

i could feel my shy get big.

of course not all the knitters were nice.
in fact i ran into a few who were downright rude.
but for as many off-putting cliques as there were,
or snotty bitches taking themselves way too seriously
(it is a sock knitting conference for the love of pete)
there were at least an equal number of uber friendly peeps.
and those are the ones i like to think of as the real knitters.

to the people who were so nice,
to the readers who said “hi” or
“i love your blog”
i want to say
thank you so much.

this blog is its own reward for me.
i’m no designer or author using a blog for advertising.
i just write because i like to.

still, it sure feels good when people actually tell me they’re reading.
so thanks for giving me some faces to put to names.

and to the people who kinneared me,
and yes, i saw you take my photo,
you are my faves.
because
i’m just as shy as you.
(but i still want a copy of that pic!)

****a batch of my pictures got deleted so if i took your photo but you don’t see it, i’m sorry! blame my camera.

20 Responses to “the summit wrap up”

  1. Nicole Says:

    Thanks so much for sharing your experience! It sounds like it was amazing! I can’t even imagine how overwhelming it all must have been. But I’m disappointed to hear about cliques and bitchiness – I expect so much more from my fellow knitters. Glad to hear that you maintained and had a fabulous time!

  2. Jenn Says:

    If I ever find out that you’ve stopped being completely inappropriate, I am going to be extremely disappointed in you.

    Also, you and shy do not mesh in my mind.

  3. Tamara Says:

    You know, you and shy do make sense in my mind. I totally get it.
    Also, the snotty bitches…I have met my fair few in knitting shops. I always want to yell out…”We’re talking about KNITTING, people! Lighten up!”

  4. Lynae Says:

    I guessing that you could figure out how happy I was to see you when I launched myself at you squealing. It was awesome to see you! We missed you in the bar, and you missed the hookers. Maybe next time?

  5. CarolP Says:

    Hi Stephen ~ It’s me ~ Carol! Love the photos. Somewhere in my mess of collections, is the card you gave me. I can’t send the photos to you without your email address. I can’t say how much I loved meeting you and getting your autograph!

  6. ciriliarose Says:

    HMPH. I am mad at myself for not trying harder to see you! I was also feeling the shys and got overwhelmed kinda quickly (plus, PDX was calling me!) Glad you had a rad time though, and holy geez, that picture of side-ponied Clara?! ADOOOOORRABLE.

  7. Sally at Rivendale Farms Says:

    I can definitely relate to your reaction to a crowd that big, but glad you had a total blast (despite getting sick). Thanks for sharing it – if I couldn’t be there then being a voyeur is the next best thing! I think I’m most amazed that there was an occasion where your hot pants were possibly overshadowed.

  8. Michelle B Says:

    Your Sock Summit Recap is definately my favorite of all I read! Wish I could have been there!

  9. Astrid Says:

    I’m sorry I never saw you at amoment when a food/drinking party was forming, but it was great to have a hug with you. Did you see Syne Mitchell’s amazing electric woven socks at the Sock Hop?

  10. kris Says:

    I soo envy you, being able to go to a knitting event of such nature, and yes , like everything we have the “Yarn Snobs”, would be nice if it weren’t so, Sounds like someone has Strep, maybe Mono, Hope you are feeling better. The pictures sure tell a story. Take care of yourself.

  11. Hope Says:

    Nicely done. Bummer on the tonsil thing.
    Be a virus, see the world~g.larsen

  12. Natalie Says:

    I wasn’t too envious about Sock Summit attendees, but then I read this. Now I’m looking forward to Rhinebeck even more keenly.

  13. hizknits Says:

    It was fabulous to meet you in human form… I was looking forward to at least seeing you in my class.

    I’m sorry we never got a proper sit-down and chat. And, for the record, my sickness (ravaged throat and now head cold) has nothing to do with yours, other than the same air-conditioned air we both breathed.

    Besides, if we did swap spit, shouldn’t Clara be ill as well? Not that she and I have ANYTHING going on…


  14. I saw your shorts at “The Hop” and thought they were great! LOL The day-glo was perfect! LOL

  15. Katharine Says:

    I loved your knit shorts at the sock hop! You also brought life to Stephen’s class when his voice was gone – the half with you in class was definitely more fun

  16. Natalie Says:

    What an excellent review of the Sock Hop, and indeed, of the entire weekend. I am flattered by your favourable view of my dancing styles!

    And I am with you about Stephen and Clara. Something is goin’ on there that they aren’t fessing up too! Though, can you blame him? I would totally be a secret Clara lover!

  17. deedlelu Says:

    Yay! It was great meeting you in person. I accosted you in line for booze at the sock hop :D ~27

  18. Juliet in Grand Rapids Says:

    Thanks for the report. It gave a glimpse of what I missed and vicariousness will simply have to do. Thanks for kinnearing that Yarn Harlot. I don’t get to see her as much as I like (a-waiting that next book).

  19. Mya Says:

    Great recap! I think I should ask you to be my personal photographer since I actually look good in the picture you took of me (Run DMC). Such fun!


  20. […] Instead hubby took a nap and I headed back to the convention center for the flash mob where I met Steven Ambrose and did some more market […]


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