with a belly half full. . .

January 26, 2011

. . .i write this post.
while my last post gave some people the impression that i hate crochet,
i’m glad most of you realized i was just joshing.
misa got it in one:

“Hmm, let’s see, crochet=Sandy and knitting=Rizzo.”

thanks for helping bring some levity to the silly knitting/crochet “feud”.
let’s be honest; if really hated crochet,
would i be participating in helloyarn’s potholder swap? i think not! .
pattern: lucy of attic24’s hexagon how-to
yarn: ty-dy cotton

i think it’s going to be a blast so you should do it too.
let’s show those crocheters that we love them!
(at least until april 15th)

in other yarny related news,
my new favorite person, jenn,
made me these gorgeous socks!
(yes, my love can be bought)
we work together on sundays,
and the laughter has increased tenfold.

between these beauties and the socksms. lisa b made for me,
i am officially hooked. i love handmade socks.
but i still don’t love knitting them.

i can see this is going to be a problem.

ode to crochet hook

January 20, 2011

if you’re a knitter, a real knitter,
you might be a little snooty about crochet.
stop lying.
you totally are.

crochet is like the older, uglier sister of knitting.
that unmarried spinster who is more like a mother to her.
sure she probably knows better, and has a nice fulfilling career,
but knitting is the family rebel. knitting’s the girl who got caught smoking in the bathroom. knitting fucked the better part of her high school football team (and a few cheerleaders too).

but after today,
i will never ever doubt the power of the hook.
for this tiny crochet hook helped me repair something so precious to me,
so important!

like a lover,

like a brother,

like a soulmate!

my laptop.

its speakers to be precise
who have been silent for a couple weeks now.
now, again, david bowie can be heard here at bitches get stitches,
and i can shake a tail feather whenever the urge arises.

so praise be to my crochet hook,
and the sister who’s always there for us.
i totally know a cute geek at google i can hook you up with.

bitches,
i’m feeling a bit under the weather.
my iron stomach has apparently rusted,
and i’ve spent much of my “weekend” in bed.*

this means the knitting has not been getting done,
and i’m not able to blog what i was hoping to this week.

luckily,
adrian saved my ass.
after surviving a new england blizzard,
and a wicked case of post-harloting server seizure,
she put my clockwork on her sexy irish man,
shoved him outdoors, and took his photo.

photo by hello yarn

it looks very good on him i must say.
though i think most things would, no?

once pippa finds their mailbox,
clockwork will be off to its next destination.

rumor has it,
that adrienne martini stalked hello yarn to get it next,
but i have it on good authority that it’s headed to the southern hemisphere. just sayin’.

*tuesday/wednesday is my weekend, and normally, i’m happy to spend it in bed. but that’s a different blog entirely.

bon voyage!

January 13, 2011

well my bitches, when i get an idea in my head,
i tend to go after it full throttle. (thanks shara!)

so even before the comments came rolling in,
i got my clockwork packaged up and ready to go.
it’s off to massachusetts to visit a friend.
any guesses who it might be?

thanks to everyone who volunteered to help me out.
clearly, this blog has some amazing readers.
however, it’s no longer within my power.
she’s been cast to the winds of fate.

if and when (hopefully when) it returns home,
and it hasn’t yet reached my goal of all fifty states,
ten canadian provinces, and three of its territories,
i know i’ve got a mini army ready to keep it going.

an international one to boot!
my clockwork apparently has the chance to visit not only canada,
but israel and australia as well! and even though they’ve never commented, i happen to know that there’s at least one person in denmark who reads my blog.
(hej danmark!)

so my friends, the adventure has begun!
i only wish i could put myself in the mail and go with it.

fifty nifty

January 12, 2011

per usual, i’m writing from my favorite place in pittsburgh,
drinking coffee and waiting for some yummy kale.
(who ever thought i’d like kale?)

and as requested,
here is my model shot of the clockwork:
anyone else see it?
the thing that is slightly not me?
even after blocking, it’s still a bit short for me.
and maybe it’s a touch too . . . grellow? (sorry kim).

your comments were helpful, if a bit contradictory:

lee:
Personally, if you don’t like it now…you never will. Just part with it immediately is what I say. (Perhaps to your favorite quilter???) Give ya a quarter…

that’s what my gut says.
and i like your semi-selfish undertone.
quarter indeed.

but nancy said:
A really good principal I worked for told me to always wait 5 hours before sending a response to a negative parent email. I think the same advice could be adapted here. Wait 5 days. Lay it on your bed, on a chair and just let it soak in. Once it is gone, it is gone.

sound advice.
i put a lot of effort into it
and i should wait to be sure i don’t like it before i send it away.

but i think i found shara’s comment to be the most intriguing:
Send it on a trip around the world? Flat Stanley style….only more like “warm, traveling knitting” style.

this idea sounds amazing; i kinda love it.
i like the idea of my clockwork visiting, say,
all fifty states? and maybe all the canadian provinces?
(how many are there again? isn’t there a new one now?)

i think that’s what i’m going to do;
send it to someone in another state who will then pass it on,
helping it to see america, and gain some experience points.
that way, i’m giving myself plenty of time to think it over,
and even though other people get to “have” it for a bit,
it’s still mine!

it’s putting a lot of faith in the knitting community, i know
but i trust ya, bitches!

what do we think?

p.s. here are some outtakes of me trying to do a stephen west style shot of the clockwork. i need longer arms!
i think tyra would be proud.

can’t win them all

January 11, 2011

but i’d like to win one every now and then.

i finished my never-ending sleeve and it’s quite lovely.
to reward myself, i decided to finish my clockwork today.
in a classic harlot-esk snowy bush photo.

i love this yarn and this pattern.
i was beyond excited to cast off and try it on.
finally! i would have a stephen west stripy neck accessory,
something i’ve desired for so long now.

the thing is . . .

i don’t like it.
not on me anyway.
something just isn’t right.
right yarn, right colors, right pattern
apparently ≠ the perfect neck accessory for me.

i can’t tell what it is exactly,
other than it being a touch smaller than i would like.
there is just . . . . . . . something wrong!

i’m blocking it now, hoping the magic of water will change my mind.
otherwise, i guess i’m giving it away.

what do you think?
what should i do?

while it’s going much faster than the body,
this is the slowest sleeve i’ve even encountered.
(what is it you southerners say about molasses this time of year?)

i’m not complaining, really, i’m not.
i am actually loving knitting this sweater.
it’s beautiful.

just check out those double increases on the sleeve.
gorgeous right?

it’s just that, i consider myself to be a pretty quick knitter,
and this sweater is killing my confidence.

when i woke up this morning, i tweeted,
“i am going to finish this damn sleeve today if it kills me.”
with twenty minutes to go, i don’t think i’m going to make it.
we’re looking at an all nighter here peeps.

i can do it.
i will knit this shit out of this sweater!
it will be done. (by the end of jan i hope)
and casting off will be . . . a revelation.

here i go bitches.
wish me luck!

secret pal

January 2, 2011

so i have a secret pal.
my secret pal will be treating me to things.
tasty yarny happy things.

i filled out a questionnaire to help them get me the best things.
they can read it here. you can read it too if you like.

is there anything else they should know about me?

2011

January 1, 2011

we had a party here last night.
there was much drinking
and eating of the food.

i only have a tiny headache today,
a sign that, at 26, i know my limits a bit better.

2010 was a trying year.
overall, a good one,
but exhausting.
i am more than happy to bid it adieu.

so from my house to yours,
happy new year, bitches!

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